SPOILERRRSSSS!
It is such a novel thing to be yelled at by straight people about TV. Our paths hardly ever cross because I mostly do not write about straight people and also I have a lot of straight phrases muted on Twitter, such as “Ezra Fitz,” “Bellarke,” “boat shoes,” and “love is love.” Also I get confused when straight people yell at me because I often have no idea what in the Eat Pray Love they’re talking about. Like after my first And Just Like That recap yesterday, all these women were like “MEREDITH GREY LOST HER SOUL MATE TOO!” and I was like “What are you even saying? Cristina Yang didn’t die; she just moved away.” But I guess they were talking about Derek Shepherd, so please allow me to apologize and right my wrong.
In addition to Big, another man who died on TV was Derek Shepherd, and how he died was getting his brain operated on while narrating the entire surgery from the ether, talking about what a bunch of idiots these other neurosurgeons were. The only one who could save Derek Shepherd was Derek Shepherd! Which is basically the same thing that happened to Dr. Strange, except for he became a wizard and Derek just became one of the ten thousand ghosts lurking around Seattle Grace Mercy West talking shit about other doctors.
Are you thus appeased, inexplicable straight people reading this recap?
I couldn’t help but wonder: Was anyone on this show actually going to have sex besides a teenage boy?
Anyway, “Little Black Dress” opens right where “Hello It’s Me” leaves off. Big’s still dead and Carrie’s still devastated. She calls Miranda, who comes over — gladly, to be honest; Brady will not stop having loud teenage sex in her house — and holds onto her while the ambulance comes to take Big’s body away. Carrie doesn’t know what she’s going to do, and she means in the immediate and in the long term. Like how do you plan a funeral? And how do you go on with your life when the person you thought you’d spend the rest of it with just dropped dead and is trending on Twitter because he tanked Peleton’s stock?
Both Miranda and Charlotte have some experience with this, Miranda especially due to her mom dying, but Charlotte does the most un-Charlotte thing possible. Wrecked with guilt about how if she hadn’t pressured Carrie into coming to Lily’s recital, Big might still be alive, she keeps saying that! Over and over! It is very weird to see someone on this show besides Carrie Bradshaw making everything all about herself, especially at a time when Carrie Bradshaw definitely deserves to have everything be all about herself. At one point, Carrie actually snaps at her, “Get up and get it together!” Which: Fair.
Another lesson Charlotte has yet to learn is when a good time would be for purse wine! Or like purse Whisky! Or purse Xanax!
You know who would know ALL OF THESE THINGS? Samantha Jones.
Speaking of whomst — Carrie does not want flowers for Big’s funeral and she does not want a funeral at a funeral home, no matter how moving that funeral home’s sizzle reel is. She wants something chill and chic where everyone who knew and loved Big can celebrate him and how he touched their lives. (Maybe I’m misremembering, but did he even know the other characters on this show?) But one beautiful vignette of lilies does arrive. All white. Perfect. The card attached simply says “Love, Samantha” and that’s as close to tears as I got during this whole entire thing. Carrie texts her to say thank you, but Samatha doesn’t text back.
Meghan Markle wore this plate hat to a Princess Di tribute leave me alone.
Che is one of the elite who gets an invite to Big’s funeral. They say they’re there because it was someone Carrie loved, and also because people can be jerks on any and all occasions, even somber ones like this, but they used to be a bouncer at a dyke biker bar — “That’s some world class bouncin'” — so they’ll handle any hooligans. This is neither the time nor the place, but damn they look good in an all-black suit. You know who else thinks so? Miranda. She and Che don’t exactly get off on the right foot due to Miranda catching Che giving Brady some weed and FLIPPING OUT, saying the word “fuck” a Bette Porter amount of times, and threatening to rip Che’s head off. Che laughs. Well, smirks. And Miranda wants to know if Che thinks this is funny. Che says no, that actually Miranda is not funny, but in an hour or so, Che could make it funny ’cause being a professional comedian is kinda their thing. (Also being cool as fucking hell is their thing.)
Miranda wants to know who Che even thinks they are! Like seriously! Who! And what! Some kind of “funeral pot pusher” or something! Che says that does, in fact, seem like an untapped market and a lucrative business opportunity and then swaggers right out of there.
About 90 seconds later, Che and Miranda re-meet, when Carrie introduces one as her “podcast boss” and the other as her “ride or die.”
I’m a podcaster, comedian, and orthopedic surgeon.
My god I love overachievers.
Miranda wants to apologize, but Che wants to flirt. AND WHOO BOY. Miranda’s like, “Um. Che, right? Like the Marxist revolutionary, or…?” Che smirks again, says, “No, like Cheryl. I dropped the ‘ryl’ because, well, do I seem like a Cheryl to you?” Miranda agrees that they do not seem like a Cheryl. She tries to explain, again, that she’s sorry and sometimes can be like a mama bear. Che legit goes, “Mama bear? Honey, try Papa bear. Like a big daddy silverback.” They make paws with their hands and claw at the air, all RAWR!!! Miranda is already so enamored the camera has to leave the building to contain her swooning. Che says Miranda doesn’t seem like a Miranda. More like a Rambo. And Miranda laughs so loud it echoes throughout the entire funeral museum(?).
I’m gonna be real with you: I took off my hoodie and tossed it across the room during this scene. How does Sara Ramirez keep getting sexier? I think they could win a top-off with every queer in TV history right now, including Callie Torres.
A couple of people make some scenes at the funeral, including Susan Sharon (B-side!), who blurts out “Does anyone else remember what a prick he was to her?” during Big’s In Memoriam film, and then loudly and vehemently tells Carrie afterward that she FORGIVES HER and will be WAITING FOR CARRIE’S APOLOGY as soon as Carrie HAS THE BANDWIDTH. Forgive her for what? Carrie literally had no idea. Also Big’s secretary, who somehow doesn’t get a front row seat at the funeral, starts sobbing very loudly during it, but Che’s got it covered with a monogrammed cotton handkerchief that they pull out of their suit pocket MY GOD.
Big’s ashes arrive soon after the funeral and Carrie doesn’t know what to do with them. Luckily Charlotte also arrives and, once again, tries to make this entire thing about her own guilt. Carrie finally yells at her, and it’s cathartic, and even Charlotte has to agree that she’s acting bananapants and needs to pull it together for her best friend.
PAPA BEAR: ACTIVATE!
After the funeral, Miranda also flirts with her professor, Dr. Nya Wallace, on the subway platform again. This time after walloping a guy in a Chucky mask over the head with her text book as he tries to steal Nya’s purse. Eleventy bazillion words have been written about how New York City is a main character on this show, but not the New York City I know. Until this scene, where everyone on the subway just watches this happen, including a guy on the phone who’s like, “Yeah hang on, a kid dressed up like a horror doll is doing some shit” and then shakes his head like “Oh this city” when when Miranda smacks him to the ground with her book.
It really is a hell of a town.
I love Che/Sara Ramirez so much, but with how explicitly (consistently, believably) awful Miranda is, I was furious at the flirting scene. Just irate and annoyed because Che seems to have their shit WAY too together to possibly be into someone with that kind of anger problem. But it’s SATC, so, sigh. Anyway, I’m obviously going to watch this entire show, if only for Che and also honestly to watch SJP kill it as a grieving widow.
1. Che’s flirting: very, very good. Very good!
2. I can’t remember if it was in the last episode or this one, but I…do not want to watch teenage Brady have sex? Who made that decision?
3. I honestly think this is better than the movies, in that it actually made me miss/want to re-watch the old show? I do miss Samantha, but I like the grief storyline, and it’s nice to watch the friends converge around something other than, like, finding a husband, which really did take up most of their time in the original series!
Re 2, yes! Like is that even legal? It should not be!
I will literally never watch this show (having never seen SATC) but I am going to read the hell out of these recaps
Also I am currently thinking about the 50-something guy on twitter I just saw wishing there was a trigger warning for the Big thing
I would marry any version of Sara Ramirez if they would have me. I truly would and I DO NOT believe in marriage but I do believe in them and I would make.that.shit. work.
I asked this in the previous recap and I’ll ask again here, having never watched the show, do I need to watch the OG series before jumping into this?
The OG series has not aged well and is problematic in a lot of ways so don’t waste your time. Maybe just watch a couple best of Samantha compilations because she brought 90% of the energy to that show.
I think I’m gonna write a quick primer of the original series so anyone who wants to watch Sara without having to wade through all that won’t miss anything! Thank you for reminding me I need to do that!
Answer: You are.
Question: Who’s the best?
*gets in line, opens folding chair, sits, and then turns on the internet to look up ‘learn how to knit’*
i’m very curious if it stands on its own without the original as context! i’m not sure yet if i would care about these people were it not for their presence in the formative years of my life
Here you go, my friend! I wrote this for you and I hope it helps!
“And Miranda wants to know if she thinks this is funny”
You’ve managed to misgender Che in both reviews so far.
Thanks for the catch! Unfortunately my computer keeps autocorrecting “Che” to “she.” I read back through several times and thought I’d caught them all, but apparently not! I appreciate your correction!
“I think they could win a top-off with every queer in TV history right now,…”
i cannot unsee this.
I love your recaps, thank you so much for doing this!
I find it hard to buy that Miranda would be thaaat out of touch that she’d be so bamboozled by podcasts and pronouns.
I really want to know if we’re supposed to be on Carrie and co’s side in thinking that it is kind of out there and crazy that people can have preferred pronouns, and to be worrying about being cancelled. We are right?
I think this is part of the reboot I find infuriating, albeit unsurprising.
Still gonna watch every episode though, if only to appreciate your recaps more :-)
Also whhhhy would Che be into Miranda?
Why does the show always want to humiliate Miranda?
Are we supposed to he repuled by how rich they all are, or are they supposed to be relatable?
SO MANY QUESTIONS
A silverback is a gorilla, definitely not a bear. Is this gonna be a L Word beluga whale is a manatee situation??
Ahahaha! I sense a new list brewing…
omg. XD
1) i’m curious if they’re gonna do a storyline with miranda about her drinking, after the purse wine and the waiting for the bar to open to get a drink before class and then the wanting of the drink before open bar actually started at the funeral
2) i liked this episode a lot more than the first episode! and the dynamic with che a lot more this episode also. also yes THAT SUIT my god
3) your intro was golden bless you
4) i miss samantha????!?
I absolutely feel like we’re barreling towards a Miranda drinking problem turns queer realization storyline – a glass of Chabli before class at Columbia, a bottle of wine at the recital, a whisky before the funeral that she has to push for because alcohol isn’t supposed to be served served until after
Okay yes I was intuiting that a Miranda drinking problem arc was going to be higher priority than a Miranda queer realization arc, but I had not considered that they might be combined!
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I don’t like how they’ve made Miranda into a bumbling, out of touch mess. The woman was a high powered lawyer for decades and has always been the first to adopt/try new things (remember the palm pilot?!?!). Her not listening to podcasts seems an absurd aberration for the character.
Carrie’s always been a prude but to dissolve into giggles upon being asked about masturbation? Really? There was an episode in the original show where she staged a literal intervention when Charlotte became addicted to her rabbit – I think they could’ve gone for something different during the podcast scene; something beyond garden-variety solo sex, to have Carrie react like that.
My guess is they might be setting up Charlotte’s character to be in menopause wrt her being unable to stop crying during times when (historically) she’s been able to pull it together and surprise everyone with her strength. She’s always been a kind-hearted (although judgmental) Pollyanna, not an idiot.
None of these characters seem to know what to do with sex, so it’ll be interesting to see how they navigate this without Samantha’s libertine ways. Speaking of, their explanation for her absence is wildly out of character. They could’ve just had her move to London and maybe joked about her running out of men to fuck in NYC. Could’ve explained away her absence at the funeral as a COVID restriction even, or something else – anything other than having her tantrum her way across the Atlantic because of a wounded ego. It’s been established that Samantha doesn’t do grudges. She certainly didn’t need Carrie’s money; and she certainly would’ve recovered from being dropped as a publicist without blowing up her friendships with Miranda and Charlotte too.
I dislike Che’s sanctimony and am hoping they flesh out the character to be more than a vehicle for the social re-education of the main cast.
yeah the scene where they were recording the podcast was killing me, i had to watch with my hands over my eyes! also weird that they said carrie was there representing cis straight women instead of what she really is, which is a 60-something cis straight white woman who had a groundbreaking sex column in the 90s and is now bashful and out-of-touch about literally everything. it was weird that they have Che written as wanting Carrie to get on their level instead of the much better podcast idea of leaning into those inter-generational differences
pretty sure i am much more engaged by the comment discussions and Heather’s primer than i would be actually watching the show. so thank you.
i do miss Sara Ramirez, though.
Honestly I didn’t mind that Miranda doesn’t like podcasts, I don’t like them either.
I also think it makes absolute sense that she is fumbly (remember the cookie, or the time she got smashed because some guy said she was sexy or when she changed marathon groups to avoid a bad date).
And Charlotte as the friend who makes death about herself made perfect sense to me too – remember the baby shower she tried to throw for Miranda? But there is always that one friend who thinks being sad at you is some sort of solidarity, and makes grief all about themselves, so real!
I see those fumbles as foibles of juvenilia more than as static character traits in Miranda. She’s always been neurotic, which can of course manifest as awkwardness – but it was cartoonishly excessive, like they deleted her brain, or like she’d been cryogenically frozen since 2004.
Charlotte used the baby shower as a kind of bizarre trojan horse for her own emotional needs/proxy desires. Perhaps its the writing in this show, but she just seemed completely detached from everything going on around her which makes her seem like a gibbering toddler.
I also don’t like podcasts either, haha. Miranda did say she “drew the line” at podcasts which signifies to me more that she has an issue with the concept as opposed to y’know, just not liking podcasts. It struck me as a poor attempt to highlight the passage of time.
I’ll keep watching for sure.
i lost it at “a bette porter amount of times” and it was even better from there!
“Maybe I’m misremembering, but did he even know the other characters on this show?”
I only saw the original show when it came to the poor folks on basic cable, and that’s probably the only way I’ll see this one, either . . . but my favorite Big scene of all time is in the finale, when Carrie has flit off to France, and (IIRC) Charlotte called a meeting w/ Big and The Girls. Miranda and Samantha just give Big this look like “place your balls on the brunch table, we’re just going to stab them w/ our forks for the next half hour, and then, maybe, we’ll deal w/ you (verbally).” [Big says “You three are the Loves of (Carrie’s) Life, and a guy’s just lucky if he comes in fourth.” Then Miranda says “Go Get Our Girl.”]