I am pleased to announce that finally my life story has been adapted for the screen: in the seventh season of American Horror Story, entitled “Cult,” Sarah Paulson will play Ally, a lesbian living in Michigan who is horrified when Donald Trump wins the presidential election. As a lesbian (currently) living in Michigan who was horrified when Donald Trump won the presidential election and then became president, I have only this question: how do I make the first ten seconds of this trailer my bio for all my social media profiles?
https://youtu.be/-27J0sR9268
Allison Pill will play Ally’s partner, Ivy, who will be sporting a grown-up edition of an alternative lifestyle haircut. It appears Ally and Ivy also have a child, a solid social circle of stylish lesbian friends and a large home. Furthermore, Ally is being haunted/stalked by that g-dforsaken clown that keeps showing up in AHS and ruining my life. The complete plot, via Entertainment Weekly:
Sarah Paulson plays Ally, one-half of a couple (her partner is Ivy, played Alison Pill) living in Michigan who flips out when Donald Trump wins the election. She begins to see clowns everywhere despite the help of her therapist (Cheyenne Jackson).
Meanwhile, Evan Peters plays blue-haired Kai, a seemingly nutty fella who’s thrilled by Trump’s election and has it out for Ally. He manipulates Winter (Billie Lourd) into getting a job as Ally and Ivy’s nanny — very The Hand That Rocks the Cradle and The Omen. It appears Winter is there to push Ally’s clown fears to the brink: She even gifts their son with a Twisty the Clown doll. Cue Ally breaking down and grabbing her gun.
As Kai says, “If you get people scared enough, they will set the world on fire.”
Even though this show manages to traumatize me every time I dare to watch it, I unfortunately cannot resist the Siren song of a lesbian couple in the midwest (Ryan Murphy is from the Midwest, thus his affection for setting shows here) being the main storyline of a television program. Despite only being exposed to one minute of American Horror Story: Cult thus far, I get the sense that there is nothing about this particular story that required the central family to be headed up by Moms instead of a Mom and a Dad, which is pretty cool. What a time to be more-or-less alive!
The show premieres on September 5th on FX. IMDB lists Problematic Icons Chaz Bono and Lena Dunham as cast members as well as faves and new faces including Billy Eichner, Frances Conroy, Colton Haynes, Adina Porter, Emma Roberts, Mare Winningham and Leslie Grossman.
I don’t know which I am more excited for: lesbian couple, Alison Pill’s adorable haircut, or the return of Mary Cherry.
I’m 100% watching for Mary Cherry
THE TITLE OF THIS ARTICLE THOUGH RIESE!
Dammit, Ryan Murphy!!! I keep quitting you, but you keep reeling me back in!
Ryan Murphy is my boomerang.
*Jack Twist voice* I wish I knew how to quit you {Ryan Murphy}
I clicked on this because I was sure you were kidding in the summary but oh my god you’re not kidding and this is somehow the purest distillation of 2017
200% assumed that headline was a joke and this was a satire piece, don’t know if I’m excited or disappointed that it’s not, loved it anyway, do not love clowns, do love two-mom households, that is all thanks for listening.
niiiiiice
My prediction: amazing first 4 episodes, and then it all goes downhill.
Just like my life.
Yuuuuuuuuuuup! And also, just like my life lol
I almost wish the headline was a joke because I’m identifying a bit too much with Sarah Paulson’s character re: the xenophobic Cheeto and clowns. I thought I had escaped Ryan Murphy and AHS but damn him for creating a show I have to watch even though I’ll be having clown related nightmares for the next year.
I’m not sure why anyone is excited considering Ryan Murphy is a major misogynist with a loooong history of treating queer women like shit. Enjoy the first few episodes I guess? Until one of the lesbians sleeps with a man, gets raped and/or brutally murdered.
Murphy is such a classic example of the entitled white male in Hollywood who gets all the opportunities and too much credit despite fucking up again and again. We need more women making shows that are ACTUALLY feminist and inclusive. Not egomaniacs like him.
Amen.
It’s that special kind of gay men misogyny.
To be fair, at least with American Horror Story, all the characters are treated brutally.
I 100% agree…I have zero faith this season will not involve one of the three storylines you’ve described Erin.
Yeah, I’m with you. But I’m probably still going to watch this show for the first time in seasons because I can’t resist Sarah Paulson playing a lesbian in a starring role…at least for the first few episodes until things go sideways.
I have issues with him too. I loved The Normal Heart but I wish women could get even a bloody fraction of the money he gets to make stuff b/c much of what he makes isn’t great.
I haven’t watched a season in its entirety since Coven, but ooooh man. Ryan Murphy always seems to know *just* how to reel me back in. Sarah Paulson playing queer will convince me to watch every damn time.
Saaaaaame! I haven’t watched AHS either since Coven.
Can we list Chaz Bono as a problematic trans icon if we’re listed Lena Dunham as a problematic icon
We Are All Sarah Paulson, round 2?
I’m a little nervous about this, because previously Murphy posted an image of Paulson and Peters with the caption “Ally and Kai: a love story for the ages” or some such. Not sure if that’s a reference to Kai being obsessed with Ally or if we’re in for a serious bout of banging our heads against the wall. Really hoping for the former.
Also super worried about the treatment of the lesbian couple, because as has been mentioned by previous commenters…Murphy’s not great with queer women. This show is a nail-biter for all the wrong reasons these days, but I can’t seem to stop watching. At least this season looks legitimately creepy, which has been lacking for a while.
When you want to support queer representation on TV but also want to sleep ever again …
As someone who can barely watch “Are You Afraid of the Dark” (even as an adult), I will not be watching AHS. That being said, this is very relevant to my interests, and I’ll be here with puppies and kittens, should you get too scared and need some cuteness.
If previous seasons of AHS are anything to go by then I would advise first timers not to get too emotionally invested in the safety and well-being of literally anybody on this.
Do I sweat profusely, feel physically ill, and perpetually suppress a scream when watching horror stuff? Yes. Will I watch season 7 of American Horror Story? Also yes.
I am looking forward for the first half of the show, before it will go downhill, as always. Still, I am here every year :)
Can’t believe this is not a piece of satire. I thought AHS was supposed to be a work of fiction? Not the plot of 2016/17?
Update: Haaaaaave we seen this?
http://www.avclub.com/ryan-murphy-confirms-that-charles-manson-david-koresh-1798453347
“Murphy also confirmed who Lena Dunham will be playing, with the Girls creator taking on the role of Valerie Solanas, author of the Scum Manifesto, and the woman who once tried to kill Andy Warhol (who will also show up, played by Peters).
‘She told all women to kill men, and it was their only way to rise to power,’ Murphy said of Solanas, suggesting that that same feminist rage will find expression in Cult.”
WHERE TO FUCKING BEGIN.