Welcome to Aesthetic Rising, a fashion-filled wonderland that pairs nicely with a Miller High Life at 3 am when you’re out of good beer in the fridge but want to indulge your late night online shopping habit!
Before we go any further, here’s a disclaimer: I’m doing this column differently from now on. Full disclosure, it took a bunch of time to make Aesthetic Rising in the past for each and every sign. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of you for your unique astrological gifts, and I want deeply for you to live your best life and look like your best self. But unfortunately, I no longer have the time to create collages for each sign every month. So I’m gonna shift the focus to the Birthday People, and give them a multitude of looks to choose from! Which means that when it’s your birthday, the focus of this column will be one-hundred percent on YOU, baby! (only six more months, Leo). Thank you, dear reader, for your patience in understanding the new direction of this column! You’re the best, whatever sign you are.
Also, just a reminder that when I create these collages, I do my best to create a balanced mix of looks for different gender presentations. If you feel like your specific gender presentation isn’t fully represented, I encourage you to choose one item from any of the looks (regardless of your astrological sign!) and pair it with what you already have in your closet.
There are some key words for your sign that you’re probably familiar with. You know that you’re supposed to be responsible, ambitious, mature, and practical. And when I write this column, the Capricorn looks are inspired by those words. But sometimes this ends up reading as “Capricorns only wear professional attire! All business all the time.” Listen, I’m sorry — I know that you’re a multifaceted human who sometimes wears a blazer and sometimes wears pajamas. Believe me, I’m a Capricorn rising, which means I understand the impulse to care too much about looking good in public. But you don’t have to wear tailored suits to look good. The only thing that matters to a Capricorn is figuring out what kind of style you want to dazzle the crowd with, and then pulling together pieces to make your unique look seem like very impressive fashion. Take the look above, for example, which is something I’m calling “Nouveau Gay Cowboy.” This look requires zero blazers but is guaranteed to make you the hottest cowboy in the gay bar.
Something you probably don’t hear often enough about your sign is that you have an incredible sense of humor and you’re very, truly sexy. Sure, maybe all of the Aries, Gemini, Sagittarius and Scorpio folks will pair off early in the night, leaving you alone with one person left in the bar. And maybe people who have their hearts set on you will wait a while to make a move (you’re intimidating, after all). But once someone does find themselves in your presence, they’ll be happily surprised to find that the person who looks Too Cool from across the bar has the warmest, most generous laugh and the kind of energy that makes others feel safe and grounded. And because you have an inherent understanding of rules and limitations, you voice consent in the absolutely hottest way in the bedroom, making sure you’re taking care of your partner’s needs based on all the ways they want to feel comfortable. Honestly, I’m surprised you aren’t the #1 Heartthrob of the zodiac. In fact, PSA: forget the Gemini who broke your heart, everyone. It’s time for #CapricornBae2017.
Did you know that you share a sign with Michelle Obama? I know that’s probably hard to hear right now, especially when we want so badly for her to stick around and just be the next president (please). But it’s a good reminder in these trying times that you have a specific kind of Capricorn strength to bring to the table. Your strength is the ability to see what’s best for the long-term. Your strength has the patience to stay on this earth and do the hard work that’s needed for the revolution. For every Aquarius that kicks down an old oppressive structure, a Capricorn must follow to rebuild the foundation. The gift you have right now is helping all the air, fire and water signs actualize our ideas, passions, and dreams into reality. And it can’t hurt to look good while doing it.
Everyone thinks you’re all work all the time, but the reality is that you take other things seriously, including your relaxation. Here’s a highly factual thing about Capricorn: you have the most deluxe loungewear. Forget mismatched cotton pajamas, you’re the person who splurges on a velvet bathrobe and silk pajamas. For you, fashion is an investment. Buying a pair of silk pajamas is bougie, sure, but they’ll last longer than a whole family of hole-filled shirts. Spending money makes you nervous, but don’t be too hard on yourself. In reality, your impulse purchases are much more functional than you might realize. And there’s an advantage to looking good even in your sleep. You never know when the love of your life will come knocking at the door, so it’s probably safe to just look like you have your shit together 24/7, right?