Sagittarius season is finally here, thank goddess. Not to brag, but technically speaking, I’m the most Sagittarius person you’ll ever meet. I’ve waited all year to celebrate this moment. I’ve waited through the queer mating ritual of hearing first dates introduce themselves by saying: “I’m a Leo sun with a Gemini moon and a Scorpio rising.” Which, if you don’t keep up with astrology stuff, translates roughly into: “I’m really hot and intelligent and playful and mysterious, and if you let me, I’ll ruin your life in a sexy way.” Those people get to brag about the gifts of their astrological combos all-year long! But I only get this single moment of the year, because my introductory sentence is “My Sun, Moon, Mars, Venus, Mercury and literally all of my stardust is in Sagittarius, so I’m only good at partying and I’m garbage at everything else!” Thanks, astrology. At least I know my strengths.
Luckily for you, my skills come in handy this month, because what we all really need right now is a good party. Honestly, we just need a good old “Fuck You, I Survived 2016” rager to close out this dumpster fire of a year. Let’s come together and celebrate the strength it took to make it this far. Hopefully these horoscopes will help you figure out how you deserve to celebrate this month. Congrats, you made it.
Also, friendly reminder that I did my best to create a balanced presentation for different genders, but if you’re personally sad with the representation of your gender identity, I encourage you to choose one item from any of the collages and pair it with the fashion that’s already in your closet.
You have two favorite kinds of parties: an intimate gathering filled with meaningful conversations, or a wild late night party filled with debauchery and people you don’t know. It’s no coincidence that there are so many Sagittarius witches. We love ritual and magic because it gives us a way to instill objects and spaces with our deeply personal understanding of limitless faith. So even if you don’t light candles or burn any sage, give yourself the opportunity to gather this month with people who make you feel connected to your sense of expansion, hope, and purity. And then, after you’re done lifting each other up by the soul, invite your Gemini, Aquarius and Aries friends to the afterparty. Go somewhere dark that’s filled with strangers whose unknowns hold so much potential. You’ll feel alive and renewed by introducing yourself to everyone you meet. Don’t be afraid to tell people your life story in three minutes or less. Have faith that in knowing that by opening yourself up to new people, you’re sure to find a genuine connection or two. And rest assured that your enthusiastic presence will be enough to bring out the best in people.
The Tumblr version of astrology likes to say that you’re the one who gets into fights at the party, and while that may be true sometimes, you’re not the 24/7 rage machine that the internet makes you out to be. If you’re a chill Aries, you can channel your competitive spirit in more fun and productive ways, like by hosting a game night for friends. Be sure to invite Taurus, Cancer and Gemini if you want a game night that’s filled with friendly competition, laughter and great vibes. But if you’re the kind of Aries who would rather start the night with drinking games and end up playing strip poker, you’ll want some Leo and Scorpio friends in attendance. People need your energy to make parties memorable this month, so feel free to bring people together by shouting your favorite catchphrase: “everybody’s taking shots!” Honestly, show up to as many parties as you can. We need your fiery energy to get the party started right now, especially in a world that makes it hard for us to let loose.
We contain multitudes, and nothing is a truer example of this than how each Taurus feels about partying. Some of you are staunchly anti-party, which makes sense, because a situation involving a loud group of drunken strangers can clash with your fundamental needs, which include comfort and relaxation. But on the other hand, I’ve met many-a-Taurus who are party legends. You’re the kind of Taurus who intends to host a small house party but then somehow manages to get the best DJ in town to show up and play a spontaneous set for ten people, who spend the night dancing harder in your living room than they’ll ever dance anywhere else in their lives. This is the key for you: making fun feel comfortable. And honestly, we all need more parties that are both fun and wild but also safe and comfortable. You’ve somehow figured out how to find this balance for yourself, so could you please do everyone who isn’t an earth sign a favor and teach us your ways / invite us to your parties? Also, unrelated, but have you ever considered going to an art gallery opening, because did you know that they have beautiful things to look at and also free wine?
If a party happens and a Gemini isn’t there, was it even a party? Your adaptability soars in party situations, where your presence is always deeply appreciated. Maybe your friend who’s a Cancer invited you to a low-key evening filled with movie marathons and boxed wine. Great! Everyone will laugh at the perfectly timed jokes you yell at the TV screen. Or if a Virgo is hosting a party, it’s a blessing when you’re the first person to arrive, because you can connect even the most random friend groups by creating a conversation that everyone can be a part of. You’re also the perfect plus-one for a Capricorn who needs someone to charm their co-worker’s pants off at a professional gathering. The simple fact is that you never stop talking, which is heaven-sent to people who get anxious and don’t know what to say in social situations, and that’s pretty much everyone. Even if your constant chatter is driven by your own anxiety, the words you have to offer are infinitely better than being in a silent room filled with people who are trying to mentally calculate the amount of time that is socially acceptable to hide in a bathroom. So get out there this month in any way you can, champion. It won’t be a party without you.
Once upon a time, I went to a party and fell asleep in an empty bedroom while the party was still going on. When I returned to the festivities, fully rested from my disco nap, people were like “omg I thought you left, but I’m so glad you’re still here!” Feel free to use this story to visualize your #partygoals. More than any other sign, large social gatherings can stress you out. Don’t get me wrong, you totally know how to have fun, but good times are most meaningful to you if you’re experiencing them with people who love you and have your best interest at heart. If you want to be wild, go to the party with a trustworthy Aries who will make tastefully dangerous decisions for you, but still come home with you at the end of the night. (Don’t go with a Sagittarius — they won’t come home with you.) Or maybe just hang out with a Virgo friend who would love nothing more than to listen to music together and make tea for you and talk about your feelings and fix your entire life. Who’s to say that isn’t a party? Forget everyone else’s definition of what a party is. For you, a party is wherever you’re having a genuinely good time, outside of the pressure that anyone puts on you to feel comfortable in their idea of a good time.
At the heart of every legendary party in history, there’s a Leo who’s responsible for it. Maybe Gemini and Aries got the party started by playing spin the bottle, and maybe Sagittarius or Pisces pop in to play some good music. But what people are really waiting for is you. Not the activities you can contribute to the party, but you, yourself, your own energy and radiance and warmth. There’s definitely a stereotype that every Leo is an outgoing sunbeam who captivates whatever room they walk into. If you’re this kind of Leo, I don’t have to tell you that your party strategy is basically 1) look good, 2) be a legend, and 3) break hearts. I know that’s your life motto. But if you’re a more soft-spoken Leo who finds it hard to identify with your sign, remember that you’re allowed to call anything a party that makes you feel witnessed by others. Your kind of party will let you contribute yourself in a way that makes people go, “damn, no one does what they do better than they can.” If your version of a party is a book club where your insights are highly valued, that’s great. But if your party is a dance floor filled with friends who make you glow brighter than the strobe lights, that’s cool too.
You were born to host. Someone might trick you into thinking that your favorite part of hosting is the part before the party starts, where you plan out every perfect detail. And while you definitely take immense joy in that part of it, what’s really fulfilling to you is seeing what happens when an uncontrollable force — like people, for example — enter the equation. It’s amazing for you to see people enjoy themselves in the exact way that you hoped they would, based on all the decisions you made before they arrived that they’ll never know about. The definition of magic is, “the power of influencing the course of events by using mysterious or supernatural forces,” and that’s pretty much what you do, except instead of using mysterious or supernatural forces, you use strategic planning and attention to detail. You have the ability to turn a thousand small decisions into an entire environment that perfectly holds all of your favorite people. And If you can’t host, try to get out of the house anyway. We’ll need you at the parties to silently give people glasses of water when they’re too drunk or help clean up when the party’s still happening.
Parties can be immensely energizing for you, especially because your astrological needs include building harmonious relationships with people. You make friends easily, and when someone says they need you, you’re the first person to show up. So it may be hard to know which holiday parties are worth attending in the mess of invites thrown your way. The key is balance, as per usual. If you go to every party, you won’t have time for yourself. But if the inability to decide frustrates you, you might become the person who just gives up and stays home. Here’s a helpful exercise: look at your Facebook invites and get really honest about which events sound most energizing for you to attend. Remove yourself from any obligation to attend something because of its connection to a relationship that isn’t working for you anyway. Imagine where you can go that will make you’ll feel most loved, held, and tethered to nice and easy-flowing relationships. And if that party doesn’t exist, ask your Virgo or Aries friend to make it happen. You deserve it.
Here’s what it’s like to encounter you at a party. Imagine making eye contact with someone in the room who has an unmistakably magnetic aura. It’s not even how you’re dressed or who you’re with, it’s more like power and mystery are facts of your existence. Seeing you is like, “oooh, that person has a story and I want to be a part of it.” Maybe someone at the party is lucky enough to discover that you’re the best kisser in the entire zodiac. A make-out session with you would make even the most unattached Sagittarius think, “how can I continue doing this, but forever?” That’s your party trick. In a matter of minutes, you can get a stranger to think about forever. Some parties are fun, some parties are cute, but you can make an encounter become a moment that someone will never forget. You’d be surprised how many people leave their home in the hopes that they’ll meet someone who’s actually real for once. You’re the person people are looking for, the stranger who can talk all night in a corner with someone about how they imagine the rest of their lives. Don’t be afraid to show up to the party ready for some deep conversations. Chances are, the person you’re talking to will never forget it.
Your dream is everyone else’s nightmare: a work party. While the idea of mingling with someone’s boss may scare other people, you know that you can let your guard down and still manage to impress everyone around you. Listen: all of your co-workers are secretly jealous of you, and they’re banking on the idea that yeah, sure, you’re hardworking, but there’s no way you could be the actual coolest too. That would be unfair, right? NOPE! Jokes on them, you’re the smoothest talker on this side of the water cooler! You ask everyone the right questions, and reveal just the right amount of charming personal information about yourself. Heck, you’re probably getting promoted at the end of this dang shindig! Even though your colleagues will never see you sweat, it’s okay to admit that this whole party situation makes you feel a little uncomfortable. Parties aren’t exactly spaces that foster clear, grounded, mature communication, which is how you tend to operate. But if you let yourself relinquish control for a moment and feel the sweet simplicity of fun, you might learn something new about yourself. And you’ll definitely want some wild party experiences for a chapter in your autobiography, which is already highly anticipated by everyone who’s watching your life unfold!
How do you turn a tame and tasteful evening on the town into a Las Vegas-like movie montage where the hero wakes up in the desert, tied to a cactus, face-to-face with a professional Shania Twain impersonator and a hungry tiger? Invite an Aquarius, obviously. More than any other sign, you have the ability to roll up to the party and fuck shit up in the absolute best possible way. Your version of ruckus-making is a gift that any party can benefit from. But your superpower doesn’t always take the form of getting everyone to scream death metal karaoke. Sometimes you’re the quietest person in a room full of loud people, silently weaving together a story from the moments exchanged in the space. Without saying a word, you’ll know exactly who in the room will think about the story that you created when they remember the night. It’s like magic to observe how an Aquarius can walk from conversation to conversation, changing the energy level in each group they join. Remember: your presence is a gift. We need your undercover alchemy right now to charges spaces with good memories that end the year on a magical note.
You get another unfair association in the world of astrology, which is the idea that you’re a space cadet who only parties on the astral plane. But um hello, earth to astrology, this Pisces has bills to pay? You definitely operate on a higher wavelength, which annoyingly can just feel like absorbing the energy of people around you without knowing what to do with it. So if you’re surrounded by people with bad intentions at a party, you might accidentally absorb the damaging energy of others and mistake it for a part of yourself. You might leave wondering, “what’s wrong with me?” But fear not, Pisces. It’s not you, it’s them. Your superpower is like a piece of glass that only reflects rainbows when it’s placed in direct sunlight. If you surround yourself with people who light you up, you can party in a way that’s fun and healing for both yourself and others. But it’s hard to tell the difference between people who are good for you and people who are bad for you when you’re naturally inclined to adapt to whatever vibe is thrown your way. Give yourself permission to bail early from social situations that make you feel weird or exhausted without you knowing exactly why. And if your intuition nudges you to check out where the music next door is coming from, listen. Your intuition will tell you which party to crash.