Results for: be the change
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I’ve Changed, But My Kinks Haven’t
It’s okay to live a life where your interests overlap with the result of trauma.
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How Black Queer and Trans Folks Can Get Involved in the Kink Community
In the hands of Black queer and trans folks, kink can be deeply healing and transformative.
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We Sat On Cakes to Find Our Joy
After months of holding ourselves back in order to keep ourselves and others safe from COVID, we were chasing abundance.
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Sadomasochism & Mental Health: Boundaries
Kink is something that I can contextualize my life around, around eroticism generally, and that felt so at home in my brain. That I can have a container for a thing, that it is healthy to have a container for things.
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Needle Play Brings Me Back into My Body Over and Over Again
Editor’s Note: This essay includes descriptions of piercings with hypodermic needles and blood in a BDSM context and brief references to self-harm. Needles are an edge. They encompass many spheres and much stigma, reminding us that we’re flesh sacks filled with fluid a mere pinprick can pierce. IV drug users and those who are tattooed […]
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How to Find Local Kink Community and Also How to Hire a Sex Worker
“There’re contingencies of queer freaks everywhere, sometimes it just takes a little more effort.”
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Our Desire, Our Power: QTBIPOC BDSM and Consent
Without confronting the cycle of oppression, we reproduce trauma, even in spaces that try to focus on consent.
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You Need Help: I’m Queer, Kinky, and Monogamous — Will I Be Alone Forever?
You need to find ways to happiness whether you remain single or whether you find your ultimate kinky monogamous life partner.
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Sadomasochism & Mental Health: Self-Expression
“When I was diagnosed, and realizing how it affected me outside of the way that I eat, it’s these processes throughout my day or the way that my personality functions. It isn’t that disruptive, but having the framework helped. Finding kink, having the words for it, helped contextualize the sex that I like to have, the friendships that I like to have, the dynamics that I like to have and the relationships in general.”
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You Need Help: Getting Kinky On A Budget
You’re in luck — kinky sex requires nothing but two (or more) bodies and a little imagination.
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Bottoms Up: Ch-ch-changes
As my gender expression changes, so does who I’m attracted to.
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S L I C K: Constellations #4 Puppy Pile
Paige leaned back into Bennett. Lauren kissed down her throat and on to her collarbone, little nips and sucks on her skin. “Lauren wants to suck you off,” Paige whispered to Bennet. “Don’t you, Lauren.”
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Frisky Business: Talking with Independent Queer Harness Designer Emma Alamo
The babe behind the buckles is Emma Alamo — a queer creator, a recovering alcoholic, a proud power bottom and business owner with serious hustle. Emma welcomed me into her studio and talked about social media, body image and building a career selling bondage gear.
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The Unique Grief of Ending a BDSM Relationship
Breaking up is hard to do, but what do we know about breakups between Dominant and submissive? This is a personal exploration of how grief settles when the collar comes off.
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You Need Help: Navigating Aggression, Desire and Gender in Dating
You don’t need to measure up to any of the things you’ve been taught are the “right” ways to be as a sexual being. There is no way to do sexuality “right” by any objective, external standard.
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How to Soundproof for Kinky Sex
If you want to make your sex or kink life a little quieter and a little more soundproof, here’s what you can try on your own.
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Queer Women and Leather: A Culture Clash That Has Nothing to Do With Veganism
An understanding of the leather community can help us co-exist, share spaces and celebrate all of the different ways to live queer lives.
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Shibari 101: Let’s Talk About Japanese Rope Bondage
Welcome to Shibari 101, your chance to learn the building blocks of Japanese rope bondage! Today, we’re talking about history, basics and safety.
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View From The Top: Five Favorite Protocols
Within D/s relationships specifically, protocols are explicit, negotiated with the needs and best interests of everyone in mind, subject to change based on reflection and consent.
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View From The Top: From Physical to Psychological
“But when we changed the game a little, and added just a few little things, our play soared to new mountain summits I hadn’t even known we could reach, or let alone want.”