Results for: be the change
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You Need Help: My Girlfriend Struggles With Social Skills
Just because someone operates differently from you doesn’t mean they’re wrong, bad, or need help.
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Help! My Friends Won’t Shut Up
Plus advice about leaving a controlling partner and getting second dates.
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You Need Help: My Best Friend Broke Up With Me
How can I grieve this and move on? I assumed it would just happen with time but a lot of time has passed and I’m still stuck.
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How Do I Re-Friend-Zone My Friend After the Worst Sex of My Life?
Advice on how to stay friends when the friend you hooked up with wants more, flagging with carabiners, and whether it’s okay if your wife is your only IRL friend.
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You Need Help: Am I Her Best Friend or Am I Being Emotionally Manipulated?
It’s possible your needs and views when it comes to intimacy are incompatible.
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You Need Help: Should I Ask My Friend on a Date Even if I Think She’ll Say No?
I’m reading Michelle Elman’s book “The Selfish Romantic” and she talks about how we can never really know unless we ask. And I feel like this is low enough risk that I may as well ask?
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You Need Help: I’m Too ‘Old’ for This New Generation of Queers
I’m so sorry the people you’re around have made you feel unwelcome because you don’t follow their narrow definition of what being a queer woman looks like.
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You Need Help: Your Friend Takes Everything Super Personally
What I hear from the anecdotes you shared is someone who is deeply lonely and feels deeply unseen, but you can’t be your friend’s therapist, even if you want what’s best for her.
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You Need Help: I’m A Teen And I’m In Love With My Best Friend
The line between friendship and romantic relationships is very thin, especially for queer people.
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You Need Help: I Don’t Know How To Be a Casual Friend
It sounds like you want to be neutral with your former friend. That will take some work and some boundary-setting on your part, but it’s doable.
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You Need Help: I’m In Love With My Straight Best Friend
There will come a time when you see someone at the grocery store or in class and think “oh wow, they’re cute!” And then you’ll know: the hard work has paid off.
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You Need Help: Do I Owe a Girl From My Past an Apology in the Present?
Treat people better than you did in your early twenties, and eventually you’ll realize that you have nothing to feel guilty about anymore.
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The Echo of My Friend’s Casual Biphobia Destroyed Our Relationship
“Remember your bi phase?” my best friend asked when we were in our 20s. I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah. It was never a phase.” -
You Need Help: Why Is My Coworker/ Friend/ Crush Pulling Away?
Are you wanting to repair the friendship as it currently stands? Or are you wanting to see if your friend wants more than friendship? Those are very different things!
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You Need Help: How Do I Feel More Connected to the Lesbian Community?
This community would be so boring if we all had the same stories. And there’s no such thing as the “right” queer story.
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You Need Help: My Friend Is Late to Everything
“He has been, without fail, late to everything we’ve ever planned. His tardiness ranges from one to three hours. Sometimes, I wait an hour and politely ask “what’s your ETA?” and he replies with “Sorry, I’m just going to do my hair and 15 other things and I’ll be on my way!””
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You Need Help: I Feel Left Out By My New Friends
Don’t be afraid to say what you want — meaningful, ongoing friendship. There are people out there who are looking for the same thing.
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You Need Help: My Friend Has a Crush on Me
“She promised not to make things awkward between us, since she knows I’m not available, and hoped it wouldn’t make things awkward on my end – but here’s the problem. It is awkward!”
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How to Talk to Your White Friends and Family About Racism
As annoying as it is, probably, to hear it, you really have to lead with love. It’s not our responsibility to love people who hate us or wish us ill, but if those people are your friends or family, it is yours. If you genuinely care about your family and want them to be and do better, let that ground your conversation.
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You Need Help: How Do I Get My Best Friend to Go to Therapy?
“Here is the good news—your best friend does have a therapist! Here is the bad news—that therapist is you!”