My Childhood Was Abusive. The Effects of CPTSD Kept Me From Realizing It
It took me over two decades to readily consider myself a victim of abuse.
10 Years Ago, I Had the Most Chaotic Valentine’s Day Plans Possible
Chicago, Winter 2015. I’m doing a cringe-worthy, cliche version of Living In Chicago In Your Early Twenties.
Untethered: I Have To Stop Getting Engayged or Married on Holidays
My ex and I mutually proposed to each other on Christmas last year.
Sad in a Prettier Place
A big reason for my move was the fact that I’m immune compromised. Instagram’s creepy algorithm delivered me an image, “moving won’t solve your problems, you’ll just be sad in a prettier place.”
What To Expect When Your Friends Are Expecting (as a Childfree Queer)
As my community transforms, I’ve developed a curiosity on how to transmute isolation into connection.
At the Passover Table, New Traditions Will Be Born
This year feels like the first of many years where I begin to truly incorporate my partner’s cultural traditions into our family.
Three Stages of Never Ever Doing Holiday Meals the “Right” Way
Holiday meals have always been mired in conflict for me.
Goodbye to My Gallbladder
Happy Gallbladder Day on Autostraddle dot com! I’m glad you’re here and I’m glad my gallbladder is not.
Why I’m Craving a Thanksgiving Sandwich 364 Days a Year
It’s November 2016, and I’m lonely and missing my family a lot more than I expected. I say I can’t come home for Thanksgiving for a mix of reasons.
I’m Trans, I’m Trying to Get Pregnant and I’m More Pro-Choice Than Ever
Roe v. Wade has been overturned, today, as I lie here praying that I’m pregnant. And I have never been more pro-choice than I am in this moment.
Are All the Queer Moms Hanging Out Without Me?
As we start to shift the narrative about raw honesty online about motherhood, I wish that queer moms opened up more about how hard it is to create their inner circle.
Things That Have Mothered Me That Are Not My Mothers
I think of all the things that have taught me lessons and made me the woman I am and feel that, even if my mothers didn’t care for me the way I wanted them to, I still came out on the other side, not unscathed, but survived.
Seeing the First Sunrise Makes Each Year Feel Special
Waking up early and standing out in the cold may not seem like self-care, but to me, it is.
Forgiving Myself as the One and Only New Year’s Resolution
I’m letting the dust of others’ expectations begin to settle, leaving room to see that I am not to blame for the hurt and harm I’ve dealt with. This year, I’m not making a list. Instead, I’m focusing on forgiving myself for ever thinking anything different.
Fishy Christmas Eve Traditions
I put a lot of pressure on myself to learn and revel in the customs of “our people,” which meant that I always included a small scoop of the fish salad on mine and then tried to avoid it the rest of the night.
In Remembrance of My Queer Nigerian Christmas
That Christmas with queer family reminded me that multiple possibilities exist even in the darkest of places.
The Stories We Tell
One of my earliest memories, perhaps my earliest one, is watching the snow fall from the sliding glass doors to the balcony of the small apartment my family rented in a Boston suburb.
Finding Love in the Year of the Ox
On New Year’s Eve when the clock strikes midnight, the glimmering thoughts that slip across my mind are usually all variations on the same question: who have you been loved by this year?
Grief Is a Promise
The unthinkable can and will happen, but sorrow and loss are only splinters of what we can handle. The ritual is in the remembering.
On Reconciliation, Reconnection, and Acceptance
Spending time in the kitchen and learning how to cook the comfort food of my childhood has helped me connect to my mother in ways I never expected.