Over 3,500 people filled out our survey on fighting in lesbian relationships, and we’re crunching the data currently to unleash a glorious bundle of posts about your hang-ups and blow-outs and relationship issues. In the meantime, we’ll be publishing more fun lists to make us all feel normal for fighting about the dishes all the time. Seriously, y’all had a lot of things to say about dish-washing in this survey. Only 20% of co-habitating people never fight about housework, and 21% of co-habitants fight about housework often or constantly.
We asked “what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever fought about?” and a great deal of your responses were related to things around the house. Here are just some of the many crucial issues tearing our love to pieces, ripped mercilessly out of context (e.g., if you provided an analysis of how the fight was resolved, that bit might not be included below) and presented here for your enjoyment.
82 Of the Stupidest Domestic-Related Things You Fought About
1. I borrowed her hair scrunchie without asking. And her eyeliner.
2. Who had to call AT&T to get the internet fixed
3. I kept finishing off the chocolate bars that were in the cupboard
4. Someone had eaten the last of ice cream and I didn’t have any but once
5. She finished the yoghurt dip without sharing
6. She thought I’d eaten the last of the cheese and became unreasonably angry! As we were arguing, she accidentally trapped my hand in her knee-pit. I didn’t want to make her more upset, so I tried to slowly ease my hand out. It made her laugh so hard she peed on me!
7. Apparently I was supposed to bring home cheese doodles. HOW DARE I FORGET?!
8. She put bell pepper in a pot at the wrong point for a recipe we were making together
9. How to make meatloaf
10. How to melt chocolate for Christmas candy
11. How to bake potatoes (microwave vs oven)
12. How much ice to put in a cup
13. Not cooking fajitas the “right” way
14. Whether to boil the corn or eat it raw
15. If she boiled the water correctly for the mac’n’cheese
16. Whether or not you should add salt to food
17. Whether to add garlic to a pesto dish
18. Buying pre-made lasagne sauce, then not buying it, then buying the wrong one
19. How much effort it took to make a grilled cheese sandwich vs. putting pre-cooked chili ingredients into the crock pot.
20. Whether or not home cooked ‘fusion’ in both our heritage food cultures is appropriative (e.g. “Gouda in polenta?” Answer: it’s a no go, “Kimchi in leftover pasta?” Hell yes.)
21. Whether or not it is really necessary that we always brush our teeth together.
22. I painted a room and got paint on the light switch cover
23. I forgot to put a glass under the spout of a juicer before beginning to juice, and got beet juice on the counter
24. Who lost the cheese grater and thereby prevented us both from enjoying Parmesan covered pasta
25. One time I opened a new packet of IKEA straws and threw the packet away. My partner wanted them to stay in the packet.
26. She left the bathmat wet/damp on purpose because she knows I hate it. It was horrifying.
27. Leaving water glasses all over the house
28. Which setting on the dishwasher is the best one to use
29. The fact that she refuses to wring out the sponge after doing dishes
30. She puts her cup beside the sink rather than IN the sink
31. Having the tap open while washing dishes. I say the water is wasted, she says it’s worst if we close it and turn it on again.
32. If Frito Pie is an actual meal.
33. Why I can’t have steak every day for dinner.
34. Cereal. (She shouldn’t eat it. It has too much refined sugar.)
35. Filling the Brita filter
36. When clothes are dirty enough to go in the hamper
37. How many blankets should be on the bed
38. Who stole the blanket
39. If it’s too cold running the AC at 63 degrees
40. The ambient temperature we’d like to have in the apartment/whether it’s ok to leave the bathroom window open in the winter. All winter. 24/7.
41. I locked myself in the bathroom because she kept telling me I wasn’t cleaning the toilet the right way
42. Our very first fight was about how I was cleaning the electric waffle iron incorrectly.
43. I threw a waffle
44. I bought a type of shampoo I like instead of the shampoo that was on sale
45. If I was wasting money buying a sandwich instead of sandwich ingredients
46. Whether or not we’d get a landline in our future house. I ended up crying.
47. Using a towel to clean up cat pee
48. Me lying down on the bed for five minutes before I started to clean
49. My swiffering technique.
50. Whether to get a poster of David Bowie for our fictional workspace/studio
51. I didn’t want our pillows to be purple. PURPLE.
52. I told her the bathroom designed by her mother is too brown for me and I don’t want the same at home.
53. Where to put the doormat
54. Hypothetical spoons
55. I was making this giant cauldron of mashed potatoes (MY FAVORITE) and when I poured the milk in it was ROTTEN. All over my lovely potatoes.
56. She insisted on padlocking the garage door shut every time we drove somewhere
57. Closing windows loudly
58. I was sitting in the chair she wanted to sit in
59. A goddamn IKEA Förhöja kitchen island. Bloody IKEA.
60. The tone in which she asked me for help lifting a piece of IKEA furniture “up” while we we were putting it together.
61. A 30-min fight entirely in whispers on an IKEA bed display about what kind of bed to get
62. She was buying Starbucks mugs online behind my back
63. One person accidentally dyed the other’s nice white blouse pink by throwing it into a load of colored laundry
64. Why she had a stack of clothes on the dresser instead of hanging them up
65. How to change the bag in the vacuum cleaner
66. How to fold a towel correctly
67. How to properly get the toothpaste out of the tube (screw top or flip top)
68. Whether or not it was possible to paint a refrigerator hot pink
69. Whether certain items of crockery qualify as “deep plates” or “shallow bowls”
70. Whether or not a Roomba would actually vacuum cat hair
71. Whether she can call a flipper a spatula ( It’s a flipper)
72. A missing pair of shorts which she found while we were arguing
73. I stirred the pot (literally, not a euphemism here) when she had just done that.
74. She thought I was insulting her chicken by asking her to cook it well done.
75. She tried to make a custard and it failed terribly and tasted like seawater sludge
76. I want to get a bigger bed and she doesn’t!!!
77. Buying a baby pool for my adult self
78. I thought that she’d used expensive whiskey that was a souvenir to bake into a cake…
79. She wanted to adopt a cat, but we couldn’t because it was clearly stated “no pets” on our lease. She was mad at me because *I* wouldn’t let her adopt a cat.
80. Who was going to feed the pig
81. Whether or not we could keep a foster dog when only one of us was working and I was really sick and couldn’t help take care of it, plus it kept trying to eat our pet rabbit
82. The proper way to marinate filet mignon — there was yelling, things were thrown across the room, a shelf was knocked off a wall, both of us stormed out of the house. Never have we had a fight surpass the great steak marinade fight of our first year together (14 years ago). (Yes we eventually made the steak for dinner but I don’t remember who’s marinade we ended up using.)
Before you go! It takes funding to keep this publication by and for queer women and trans people of all genders running every day. We will never put our site behind a paywall because we know how important it is to keep Autostraddle free. But that means we rely on the support of our A+ Members. Still, 99.9% of our readers are not members. A+ membership starts at just $4/month. If you’re able to, will you join A+ and keep Autostraddle here and working for everyone?