82 Silly Household Things You Fought About With Your Girlfriend

Over 3,500 people filled out our survey on fighting in lesbian relationships, and we’re crunching the data currently to unleash a glorious bundle of posts about your hang-ups and blow-outs and relationship issues. In the meantime, we’ll be publishing more fun lists to make us all feel normal for fighting about the dishes all the time. Seriously, y’all had a lot of things to say about dish-washing in this survey.  Only 20% of co-habitating people never fight about housework, and 21% of co-habitants fight about housework often or constantly.

We asked “what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever fought about?” and a great deal of your responses were related to things around the house. Here are just some of the many crucial issues tearing our love to pieces, ripped mercilessly out of context (e.g., if you provided an analysis of how the fight was resolved, that bit might not be included below) and presented here for your enjoyment.

82 Of the Stupidest Domestic-Related Things You Fought About

1. I borrowed her hair scrunchie without asking. And her eyeliner.

2. Who had to call AT&T to get the internet fixed

3. I kept finishing off the chocolate bars that were in the cupboard

4. Someone had eaten the last of ice cream and I didn’t have any but once

5. She finished the yoghurt dip without sharing

6. She thought I’d eaten the last of the cheese and became unreasonably angry! As we were arguing, she accidentally trapped my hand in her knee-pit. I didn’t want to make her more upset, so I tried to slowly ease my hand out. It made her laugh so hard she peed on me!

7. Apparently I was supposed to bring home cheese doodles. HOW DARE I FORGET?!

8. She put bell pepper in a pot at the wrong point for a recipe we were making together

9. How to make meatloaf

10. How to melt chocolate for Christmas candy

11. How to bake potatoes (microwave vs oven)

12. How much ice to put in a cup

13. Not cooking fajitas the “right” way

14. Whether to boil the corn or eat it raw

15. If she boiled the water correctly for the mac’n’cheese

16. Whether or not you should add salt to food

17. Whether to add garlic to a pesto dish

18. Buying pre-made lasagne sauce, then not buying it, then buying the wrong one

19. How much effort it took to make a grilled cheese sandwich vs. putting pre-cooked chili ingredients into the crock pot.

20. Whether or not home cooked ‘fusion’ in both our heritage food cultures is appropriative (e.g. “Gouda in polenta?” Answer: it’s a no go, “Kimchi in leftover pasta?” Hell yes.)

21. Whether or not it is really necessary that we always brush our teeth together.

22. I painted a room and got paint on the light switch cover

23. I forgot to put a glass under the spout of a juicer before beginning to juice, and got beet juice on the counter

24. Who lost the cheese grater and thereby prevented us both from enjoying Parmesan covered pasta

25. One time I opened a new packet of IKEA straws and threw the packet away. My partner wanted them to stay in the packet.

26. She left the bathmat wet/damp on purpose because she knows I hate it. It was horrifying.

27. Leaving water glasses all over the house

28. Which setting on the dishwasher is the best one to use

29. The fact that she refuses to wring out the sponge after doing dishes

30. She puts her cup beside the sink rather than IN the sink

31. Having the tap open while washing dishes. I say the water is wasted, she says it’s worst if we close it and turn it on again.

32. If Frito Pie is an actual meal.

33. Why I can’t have steak every day for dinner.

34. Cereal. (She shouldn’t eat it. It has too much refined sugar.)

35. Filling the Brita filter

36. When clothes are dirty enough to go in the hamper

37. How many blankets should be on the bed

38. Who stole the blanket

39. If it’s too cold running the AC at 63 degrees

40. The ambient temperature we’d like to have in the apartment/whether it’s ok to leave the bathroom window open in the winter. All winter. 24/7.

41. I locked myself in the bathroom because she kept telling me I wasn’t cleaning the toilet the right way

42. Our very first fight was about how I was cleaning the electric waffle iron incorrectly.

43. I threw a waffle

44. I bought a type of shampoo I like instead of the shampoo that was on sale

45. If I was wasting money buying a sandwich instead of sandwich ingredients

46. Whether or not we’d get a landline in our future house. I ended up crying.

47. Using a towel to clean up cat pee

48. Me lying down on the bed for five minutes before I started to clean

49. My swiffering technique.

50. Whether to get a poster of David Bowie for our fictional workspace/studio

51. I didn’t want our pillows to be purple. PURPLE.

52. I told her the bathroom designed by her mother is too brown for me and I don’t want the same at home.

53. Where to put the doormat

54. Hypothetical spoons

55. I was making this giant cauldron of mashed potatoes (MY FAVORITE) and when I poured the milk in it was ROTTEN. All over my lovely potatoes.

56. She insisted on padlocking the garage door shut every time we drove somewhere

57. Closing windows loudly

58. I was sitting in the chair she wanted to sit in

59. A goddamn IKEA Förhöja kitchen island. Bloody IKEA.

60. The tone in which she asked me for help lifting a piece of IKEA furniture “up” while we we were putting it together.

61. A 30-min fight entirely in whispers on an IKEA bed display about what kind of bed to get

62. She was buying Starbucks mugs online behind my back

63. One person accidentally dyed the other’s nice white blouse pink by throwing it into a load of colored laundry

64. Why she had a stack of clothes on the dresser instead of hanging them up

65. How to change the bag in the vacuum cleaner

66. How to fold a towel correctly

67. How to properly get the toothpaste out of the tube (screw top or flip top)

68. Whether or not it was possible to paint a refrigerator hot pink

69. Whether certain items of crockery qualify as “deep plates” or “shallow bowls”

70. Whether or not a Roomba would actually vacuum cat hair

71. Whether she can call a flipper a spatula ( It’s a flipper)

72. A missing pair of shorts which she found while we were arguing

73. I stirred the pot (literally, not a euphemism here) when she had just done that.

74. She thought I was insulting her chicken by asking her to cook it well done.

75. She tried to make a custard and it failed terribly and tasted like seawater sludge

76. I want to get a bigger bed and she doesn’t!!!

77. Buying a baby pool for my adult self

78. I thought that she’d used expensive whiskey that was a souvenir to bake into a cake…

79. She wanted to adopt a cat, but we couldn’t because it was clearly stated “no pets” on our lease. She was mad at me because *I* wouldn’t let her adopt a cat.

80. Who was going to feed the pig

81. Whether or not we could keep a foster dog when only one of us was working and I was really sick and couldn’t help take care of it, plus it kept trying to eat our pet rabbit

82. The proper way to marinate filet mignon — there was yelling, things were thrown across the room, a shelf was knocked off a wall, both of us stormed out of the house. Never have we had a fight surpass the great steak marinade fight of our first year together (14 years ago). (Yes we eventually made the steak for dinner but I don’t remember who’s marinade we ended up using.)

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Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3211 articles for us.


  1. i would like to respectfully suggest that maybe #80 should take a moment to count their blessings as most of us don’t even have a pet pig to feed

    also i will confess that while #73 is not me, the behavior described does make me absolutely bananas

    • If anyone told me what I could and could not eat because of “too much sugar”, I would dump them.

  2. #67 is me. We went 97 rounds on this one over about a decade with me getting mad every time she left toothpaste residue in the cap because it was clear evidence of flip top usage.

    Having kids made this fight go away because who the fuck cares when you haven’t sleep in three days?

      • Its irrational. I’ll kiss my girlfriend, have all manner of sexy fun times with her, I’ll shower with her, I’ll love on her after she’s worked out at the gym, but the idea of sharing toothpaste just… *squick*

    • yes another primary takeaway from the survey is that everybody who has kids is tired. really, really, really tired. exhausted and so very tired. such tired!

    • Grill > Boil

      But also sidenote I’ve had it raw many times (inside salads or a taco filling) only because I was too damn lazy to cook it up and you know what? Totally delicious. And crunchy.

  3. It seems that IKEA it’s dangerous for a relationship.

    And come on, #22 it’s a reason for breaking-up!!!!!

  4. I’m on the side of #30’s girlfriend: I fight with my best mate/housemate because he puts the cups in the sink rather than beside them! Because, if you do that, then the sink get’s all full and you can’t fit the kettle under the tap to make a brew. Obviously. Then we fight because he uses a new spoon for every cup of tea, rather than just having a teaspoon for the whole day. We drink a lot of tea. This is important.

      • You teach the cat to not to get on the counter and give cat other things to get on? (I ended up with a cat that would sit across the table from me in a chair and inch a paw up onto the table and wait for me to make unhappy noises. She found it amusing. She did not get on the counter, however.)

    • Dude, IKR! I haaate when people put their dishes in the sink instead of next to the sink. Like I got to #30 and raced down here without reading the rest of the list because it bothered me so much.

  5. #11 – microwave (10 mins) AND oven after (for 15-20) for baked potatoes! Maximum fluffy insides and crispy skins! Plus no arguing.

    • i do not understand why anybody should put anything in the microwave unless the microwave is the one and only way to produce that food item! i just don’t. I JUST DON’T I’M SORRY

      • I used to feel this way until I wanted a baked potato and was able to eat it 10 minutes later. Sometimes you just don’t want to wait a year for a potato.

      • it heats up the kitchen / house and is less energy-efficient. If you live in a hot climate, being able to cook food without using the stove is wonderful. Microwaves/crockpots/rice cookers are the way to go.

  6. I forgot to put this in the survey, but the stupidest fight we’ve ever had was whether our (imaginary future) children should be raised to believe in Santa Claus or not. She thinks it’s “lying to children” and I think I might be dating the grinch.

    • you will be pleased to hear that two other couples have had this same exact argument (unless one of them was your girlfriend!)

      • I don’t know about the other 2 couples, but we resolved it when I told her that if she wanted to raise them without Santa she could, but she also had to be the one to break the news to both of our moms.

    • Oh no I’m also a grinch :( I would also not want to raise my kids to believe in Santa, although partly because I don’t think I could keep a straight face while telling them Santa was real.

    • True story: when I was 7, and my mother told me I was not allowed to tell my younger brother that Santa wasn’t real, we had a huge fight, because I thought it wasn’t fair that parents could lie to us, but if I told a lie, I got punished.
      I was grounded for talking back, and as an I have trust issues, and will not stand for people lying to me. (Although, that is possibly something that would have happened even without that fight.)

      • My GF actually really believed in Santa when she was little, to the point of re-converting some of her classmates that had started to outgrow santa. When her parents finally told her the truth, she went through the whole, “but if there’s no santa…there’s no god!” It was pretty traumatic. I do see where she’s coming from, haha, I just love christmas.

    • My mom raised us… not without Santa per se, because we’d still play the game, but definitely with the knowledge that Santa was really Mom and Dad. She has some pretty serious trust issues courtesy her childhood, so I think that whole “lying to children” thing was a big block for her.

      Anyway, I grew up to be a big weirdo but that probably would have happened anyway.

  7. This list kind of makes me happy to be single again, tbh.

    Also… what is the “incorrect” way to boil water for mac’n’cheese? How does one incorrectly boil water?

    • that confused me too but i have two theories based on personal experience:

      1. once upon a time i told a human to put a lid on the pot for it to boil faster and their response was, “what? are you in a hurry?”

      2. i feel like several times i have disagreed with somebody about whether the water is officially boiling yet and ready for things to be in it. i like big bubbles to be popping and some people feel like teeny little bubbles making their leisurely way to the surface of the pot is enough boil to qualify as “time to put the pasta in”

          • No, just boil the water in the kettle. Then put it in the pot. The kettle boils it faster! (note that I am talking about a quick-boil electric kettle and not the thing you put on the stove)

    • Things I’ve been scolded for re boiling water:
      1. Putting the pasta in before it had boiled (that’s what you do with potatoes, fool!)
      2. Not adding olive oil
      3. Not adding salt
      They were right on every point.

    • Since you asked!
      You can fight about whether it’s okay to
      A) use the hot water instead of the cold water from the tap
      B) Whether you have to follow the exact cups of water called for in mac and cheese box recipe, or just eyeball it.

      I had these fights with my sister and mom rather than a girlfriend, but they were still especially in the case of B, long, bloody, and bitter.

  8. I’ve never had a girlfriend, but I’ll try to keep this list in mind should I ever get into a relationship.

  9. i filled out the survey and forgot about our best/dumbest fight ever. She overnight mailed me the Wrong Kind of ginger chews. I sat on the kitchen floor and cried-yelled into the phone that they were the wrong kind and how could she not listen to me or care enough to get the right kind etc etc etc. Turns out, they were the right kind. Whoops. To be fair, I was 8 weeks pregnant with the worst morning sickness. And one week away from defending my phd. She still teases me about ginger chews…

  10. And now I debate on if I send this to my new girlfriend to see her reaction to potential relationship landmines…

  11. Just remembered that we had a pretty good fight over whether you mix the spaghetti sauce together with the noodles in the pot, or if you spoon the sauce over the noodles on the plate. It was almost a deal-breaker.

    • IN THE POT

      however if you’re trying to avoid having to do the dishes, NOT IN THE POT, because washing a pot that has only contained pasta and water and not any kind of sauces is way quicker than washing a pot that has been soiled by sauce

      HOWEVER if nobody else is home then I do it in the pot and then eat it right out of the pot, therefore still conserving on dish-washing time

  12. Most ridiculous argument I think I ever had with a girlfriend was the great “is it really a date if we’re at home and you’re just going to complain about work and ask me if I fed the animals?” debate of 2012.

  13. 67. A screw top, obvs. A flip top would just get gunk buildup by the hinge and stop closing all the way and then every time you used the toothpaste the very top of it would be dried out! Yuck!

    74. Chicken only has three levels of doneness. Raw, cooked, and overcooked. There is no such thing as well-done chicken.

    • THANK YOU!!!

      Flip tops get gunky is exactly what I have been telling her for 17 goddamn years.

    • I wish it made that much sense. The issue was whether if/when we eventually move in together I would be likely to lose her teaspoons or whether buying more would make this ok. It rapidly devolved into crying

  14. hypothetical spoons and throwing a waffle made me laugh.

    can i say that this list of stressful things made me feel a lot more normal and logical for not even wanting to share a house with a future spouse. get your own place to leave the ice cube trays empty, imaginary love of my life. leave the sponge water-logged as much as you like, non-existant partner, just do it in your own dang place. paying all of my housing would be covered by hypothetical salary of future-me.

    it’s a great plan, everyone.

  15. This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a while. Maybe ever. And I aspire to have a fight as stereotypically lesbian-esque as #60.

  16. 71. Whether she can call a flipper a spatula ( It’s a flipper)

    I asked my girlfriend if she submitted this one and she scoffed and said no because they were both wrong because it’s actually called a lifter.

    The lifter/spatula fight of 2015.

    • I always just called it a “metal spatula.” But flipper and lifter are more descriptive.

  17. Half of these I find hilarious, and half of them have me so worked up I’m clenching my teeth.

    I’d also like to see a great number of them in cartoon form.

  18. I’m pretty sure only the last two would still happen. Though #2… it was INCREDIBLY good pizza.

    1. When asked how long to cook something, I without thinking responded “Until it’s ready,” and got yelled at for being unhelpful and keeping the recipe for myself. I wasn’t being obnoxious, it’s just how I cook!

    2. I picked finishing a slice of someone’s homemade pizza over their romantic overture. NO REGRETS.

    3. They added dish detergent to the sponge every other dish. Nearly an entire bottle of dish detergent would get used on one sinkload. I could not deal with the waste.

    4. They wet-mopped wooden floors and put wooden cutting boards in the dishwasher.

  19. Lol, number 16! I remember once, she baked chicken for dinner. She was actually a pretty good cook, so I figured this must’ve been an accident. Anyway, we sit to eat and it tastes as though we bit into a box of table salt. I ask her, “what happened?” She figured she added too much salt and we spent the next morning putting the chicken in water because it was way too strong to eat like that.

  20. I didn’t think this would be relevant to my interests because I’m single, but I was wrong. So wrong. And also happier about being single.

  21. #6 is my favorite! So hilarious!

    As for #78, it had better be really exceptional whiskey to get upset over putting some in a cake. I adore whiskey, but c’mon life’s too short.

    This has me really thinking about my own snappishness during quarantine with my lovely wife and our amazing 4 year old, though, and our absurd disagreements such as how one properly loads a dishwasher, or how full can one make the front-loading clothes washing machine.

    For the record, our front-loading washing machine’s manual states that one can pack the drum with unfolded articles of clothing, and they will all get clean just fine. However, my dearest wife of 5 years firmly believes that some people–such as myself–“overload the machine, and not everything gets clean.”

    But then I remember the plights of my straight friends, and remember just how lucky I am!

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