Lesbians in television commercials are even harder to find than lesbians in television shows. There have been a few gems — like that sexy lesbian Chobani commercial — but overall, most corporations seem like they have no idea that lesbians are a viable consumer group.
Recently, I discovered that the greatest love story of our time is hidden in an unlikely place: Payless’s BOGO commercials. Chances are if you’ve watched television any time in the past couple years, you know know the ones I’m talking about. Two women sit on a couch and scream about shoes and, more specifically, how you can buy one, get one at the Payless nearest you.
The mere premise of this commercial series raises several queer flags. These are two women who regularly shop for shoes together and share a seemingly unwavering love of shoes. Now, maybe I have a poor understanding of friendship, but do friends really shoe-shop together as, like, a recurring practically habitual activity? Shopping in general seems like a pretty platonic pastime, but shopping for something specific and repeatedly doing so together? That sounds intimate, strange, sensual. Shoe-shopping is no passive activity. Shoes are important! Shoes stay with you for a long time! Shoes are as personal and descriptive as perfume. Am I going too deep with this? Probably.
And for the sake of narrative simplicity and so we can all collectively come up with a ship name for them once I’ve sufficiently convinced you of their torrid love affair, I have given the Payless BOGO women names. Meet Caroline (left) and Tarah (right):
True love
1. This body language?!
Just some gentle knee touching
Note Caroline’s hand on Tarah’s leg. Note Tarah’s arm around Caroline. There is more physical chemistry oozing from this Payless couch than Fitz and Olivia have ever achieved in five seasons of Scandal. Also, while they’re snuggling up to each other in the commercial — which is the first to introduce Caroline and Tarah on Payless’s YouTube channel — they’re literally finishing each other’s sentences. “So, I needed shoes for work,” Caroline says. “But you wanted shoes for play,” Tarah finishes. HOW DOES SHE KNOW THAT? IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE VERY INTIMATELY FAMILIAR WITH CAROLINE’S SHOE PSYCHOLOGY, TARAH.
2. They’re obsessed with each other’s bad stories
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DK2X9SNCM74
You know when two people first start dating and they’re so obsessed with each other that they laugh at each other’s bad jokes and find each other’s very ordinary stories incredibly exciting? Caroline and Tarah are that couple. “Tell the story again!” Caroline begs at the beginning. Please don’t, Tarah! It isn’t a good story! We already know how it ends! You bought one and got one at Payless! Only Caroline likes this story, because Caroline could probably listen to you talk about a speck of dust and find it beautiful, poetic, worthy of repeating over and over. Caroline, in fact, asks Tarah to tell the story again before the commercial ends. Get a room!
3. So much arm touching!
Calm down, Caroline
In the same commercial in which Caroline incessantly asks Tarah to tell the same boring story twice, there is a lot of “accidental” arm touching going on. It’s almost like Caroline and Tarah would cease to exist if they were to stop touching arms. There is a lot of room on that couch. Caroline could definitely scoot over so she isn’t constantly bumping arms with Tarah. But that isn’t what they want, is it?
4. They are definitely karaoke partners
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04lov-s6LJk
Okay, so this one requires some speculation, but the one time Caroline and Tarah break out of their usual BOGO confines to advertise a general clearance sale at Payless, they make up a ridiculous song together (about shoes), complete with synchronized choreography (with shoes). These two have clearly done this before… at the karaoke bar perhaps? Caroline and Tarah have definitely dueted on “Take Me Or Leave Me” at karaoke.
5. They both love sandals and boots
“We’re gay!!!!!”
In several of the BOGO commercials, Caroline and Tarah are screaming about sandals and boots with equal enthusiasm, representing two very important parts of the Queer Women Shoe Spectrum. Sneakers also get a shout-out. The fact that Caroline has to flip a coin (well, she has Tarah do it for her) in order to choose between heels and boots seems like coded commentary all on its own. Might Caroline be a tomboy femme? And Tarah ultimately doesn’t let Caroline see what the coin landed on, flirtatiously snatching it out of the air and explaining that “the whole point of BOGO is not choosing.” Is this a metaphor for fluid sexuality? Please let me have this.
6. They broke up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wu2tPq1JFxA
It wouldn’t be a compelling love story without a touch of drama. Somewhere along the line, Caroline and Tarah ran into some issues, but like good lesbian exes, they kept hanging out all the time, shopping for shoes like the good ol’ days and likely still saying “I love you.” They stayed together for the Keds! During this commercial for boots and this one for heels, Caroline and Tarah seem uncharacteristically disconnected from one another. Sure, they’re still finishing each other’s sentences, but they are barely looking at each other. The distance between them is gaping — no more arm touching! Then, Caroline gets real petty. “I love BOGO,” Tarah sighs in the commercial above. “Then why don’t you marry it?” Caroline retorts. Her cheery cadence is fooling no one! Did Caroline want to get married but Tarah didn’t?! Is that why they broke up?! Did Tarah’s love for BOGO grow so big that it started getting in the way of their relationship?!
The most recent BOGO commercial, released earlier in the month, suggests that they might still be going through a rough patch, as it devolves into them competitively trying to one-up each other with adjectives. Their subtextual breakup is as glaring as their subtextual romance, so I’ll just count it as further proof that the Payless BOGO commercials double as a lesbian love story, and I will continue to hold out hope that the next commercial in the series depicts their loving reunion.
Thank you for making me laugh this morning!
I have never seen any of these commercials but I’m completely intrigued with your interpretation, it just sound so so feasible.
I feel some one should write some fan-fiction about Caroline and Tarah.
SOMEONE SHOULD TOTALLY WRITE FANFICTION ABOUT CAROLINE AND TARAH
they stayed together for the Keds……inspired!
Thoroughly convinced.
One of the UK dating sites (there are so many I’ve tuned out which one, sorry, I think it might be match.com) has a lesbian couple on one of its adverts. I can’t find a video online to link to, sorry. (It would probably help if I could remember who it was.)
But I loved your deconstruction of this one.
this is TRUE LOVE
like, honestly i’m obsessed with stuff like this. bc there is def some queer touching happening. i like to do this with the models of j. crew catalogs. they’re all lesbians over there and i love it.
omg I can’t wait to make up backstories for all the j. crew models now
Can that be a new series? “Kayla finds queers in commercial advertising”
MY DESTINY
yesssss! Please!
i support this so much!!!
PLEASE
My former colleagues and I used to make up back stories for all the models in the catalogues we had at the store we worked in… They had rich lives. So rich.
*watches Chobani commercial*
I’ll be in my bunk
This is amazing. You truly have a gift.
Maybe they broke up due to a shopping addiction. How many shoes do you need?! Send me those shoes! I will save their possible relationship!
If they wear the same size, then they only need half as many as a straight girl.
That’s assuming they have the same style and like to share! But I don’t know about needing half as many as a straight girl. My fiancee and I wear the same size and style. I went from having only one pair before she moved in, to having 10 pairs of shoes that we share and 5 that are just mine. :D
Does anyone else think the people in the Clearblue pregnancy test advert are a couple? This advert appears EVERYWHERE I GO because the internet knows I love babies and its trying to make a point.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9lPaaYxsVQ
This advert follows me everywhere too and I have zero desire for kids… Does clearblue have a thing about our name?
Ooh! I was getting targeted advertising from them for a while too. What on earth could be triggering it?
I see this one ALL THE TIME too and yeah they’re definitely together
Tarah’s face in the most recent commercial? Absolute heartbreak! She is hurt and betrayed.
I would like to expand on this theory. Caroline is dealing with the breakup by being very active on Tinder. Tarah is trying to get fit and increase her self esteem. I just can’t tell if she’s doing it to show Caroline what she’s missing out on, or to try to win her back.
KAYLA important work
ERIN thank you so much
Does anyone else feel the need to buy shoes all of a sudden?
I wish we had this ad in England so I could weigh in. Everytime I posit wlw wrt ads the husband/boyfriend rocks up by the end of the ad. Missus and I saw a bank ad where we were sure the tomboy child growing up was coming out to her parents on a Ferris wheel but in the next shot she was with a dude, I clung to the hope she was bi.
The Chobani ad gives me feels that usually only “Crash Pad” gives me. That being said, the arm touching was definitely a “Gal Pal” indicator for me in the BoGo ads. They just have chemistry.
Yes! I’ve always thought of them as girlfriends too! I hadn’t seen the latest commercials though so I’m very sad that it seems like they’ve broken up. I thought the BOGO ladies’ love was eternal.
Let us hope they reunite over a particularly moving pair of combat boots
I would just like to point out that the auto-captions on that first YouTube video dub their interaction as
Caroline: so I need to choose to work
Tarah: but you want to choose foreplay.
Clearly the auto-captioning algorithm knows what’s up :P.
THIS IS SO IMPORTANT OMG
Arms, touching arms
Reaching out, touching me, touching you
Sweet Tarahline
Cheap shoes never seemed so good
oh my god this is the BEST
So good so good so good
You win the internet for today, Chandra.
I’m thoroughly sold both on this interpretation and on ‘people-watching in commercials’ as a worthwhile activity.
I love this with a passion that matches my burning hatred for commercials and advertising in general. That means I love it A LOT.
I became so invested in their relationship while reading that by the time I got to the breakup it was just so sad. #riptaroline
Seriously funny since I know one of the actress and she is in no way a Lesbian…………
Will you tell her about this article haha?
Just the stills have me shipping them like whoa! I hearby dub this pairing: Solemates.
Comment award!
Kayla, I applaud your thorough research and attention to detail. SOLD.
Also this is delightful and made me very happy.
This is cute and hilarious! Thanks for making me laugh!
“stayed together for the Keds.”
Oh I’m dying.