1. Begin writing.
2. Have chocolate on hand.
3. Make tea.
4. Breathe deeper, more slowly. Actually.
5. No one is coming through the door.
6. No one is coming through the door.
7. If they come through the door, it’s someone who loves you. (You’re at home, right? Please go home. It’s okay to go home.)
8. Do you have a home?
9. I know: the night is my anniversary, too.
10. Leave the tea steeping.
11. Wear clothes that make you feel warm (which, we know, is not the same as: wear clothes that keep you warm).
12. (Dude, come over, please babe, come over, take what you need: I promise I’m fine: here: does this fit you? Even a little? Girl, please: it’s yours.)
13. Eating will not make you feel better. But you must eat.
14. It’s okay if you ate too much this time.
15. Call people you trust, and love: don’t bother making a list, just call them.
16. Are none of them picking up?
17. I won’t hug you if you don’t want me to. I will never use you.
18. Don’t forget your tea.
19. Tell me about who is communing with you:
20. Which part of yourself?
21. Do they have a different name?
22. What do they remember?
23. Remember to realize that none of this is happening now.
24. Do you have to ride the bus today? The train? Take some chocolate with you.
25. Listen to music, if you can.
26. Music that can do the falling for you.
27. Begin to remember something: remember that I love you.
28. The music is falling for you.
29. The music is falling for you.
31. Okay. It’s okay.
32. Of course you can call me and tell me about it, of course you can leave a message, of course you can text me, of course of course of course.
33. The writing you might find might not save you.
34. The day begins when you say it does: I’m not talking about work. I’m talking about the soul.
35. Make a catalog of how the day changes light.
36. I get shakes, too.
38. Neither of us should drive.
39. Let’s lay down on the couch again.
40. Give yourself a butterfly hug: remember that picture of that girl: how relieved they were.
41. I am not afraid of your losses.
42. And, truly, I am not afraid of you.
43. I need you as much as you need me.
44. I need us both to believe
45. That we are not corpses.
46. That we will be believed.
47. That this cold: it’s not a permanent condition.
48. that when I fog up, I’ll always redescend.
49. Only buy decaffeinated tea, infusions.
50. Yeah, yeah, I know chocolate has caffeine. One step at a time.
1. Begin writing.