26 Recipes With Which to Blend Your Way to a Better Life

Hello and welcome to this thing we’re doing where we help you figure out what you’re gonna put in your mouth this week. Some of these are recipes we’ve tried, some of these are recipes we’re looking forward to trying, all of them are fucking delicious. Tell us what you want to put in your piehole or suggest your own recipes, and next week we’ll check in and talk about which things we made, which things we loved, and which things have changed us irreversibly as people. Last week, we grilled all the things.

hansen and rachel

Cooking is hard. Cleaning multiple pots and pans is hard. Chewing is even sort of hard sometimes. That’s why you have a BLENDER. Or food processor, or immersion blender, or whatever else. I was recently gifted a Fancy Grownup Blender and ever since then it’s been the only way I want to prepare food. Doesn’t heat up my kitchen, only requires flipping a switch, and is largely self-cleaning if you blend some soapy water inside it? Yes please. From main courses to desserts to about eight thousand beverage situations, here’s all you need to make it for the next week with your trusty blending apparatus at your side.

1. Creamless Corn Soup with Lime Crema and Basil

2. Yogurt, Mango Puree and Caramelized Pistachios

3. Roasted Beet Soup with Garam Masala & Green Garlic Cream

4. Pureed Summer Soup

5. Frozen Hot Chocolate

6. Peach Basil Iced Tea

7. Fresh Strawberry Lemonade

8. Spicy Broccoli & Zucchini Soup with Coconut Cream

9. Creamy Potato Soup With Pea Puree And Crispy Prosciutto

10. Chamomile + Coconut Mango Milkshake (Vegan)

11. Roasted Red Pepper, Corn and Tomato Soup

12. Fava Bean Puree

13. Watermelon Slush

14. No Cook Strawberry Blender Jam

15. Orange Julius

16. Blender Salsa

17. Pomegranate & Pear Kefir Spritzer

18. Brazilian Lemonade

19. Blackberry Coconut Smoothie

20. Blender Lemon Curd

21. Frozen Basil Blender

22. Chilled Avocado Sweet Corn Soup With Lime Shrimp Salsa

23. White Gazpacho

24. Blender Hot Sauce

25. Papaya Slushy

26. Cloudy Brain Matcha Latte, Sweetened with Dates

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Originally from Boston, MA, Rachel now lives in the Midwest. Topics dear to her heart include bisexuality, The X-Files and tacos. Her favorite Ciara video is probably "Ride," but if you're only going to watch one, she recommends "Like A Boy." You can follow her on twitter and instagram.

Rachel has written 1142 articles for us.


  1. We recently acquired a Fancy Grownup Food Processor, and this list further enables me to spend my summer blending all the things. Excellent. I think I’ll start with the Frozen Hot Chocolate, because what’s not to love about an oxymoronic cupful of dessert?

  2. Everything was so pretty looking, and then, suddenly, I got to #12. It looks like it was blended inside of a cat!

    BUT I clicked on it and the recipe looks like it would taste delicious?

    • Jane – it looks to me like vomit with red onion through it, or vomited carbonara. anywhoo, I am going to try it and will report back soon.

  3. Last week I made some lime/avocado crema for some fish tacos and my shitty ass blender did not make it as creamy as I needed it to be. A fancy blender/food processor was immediately added to my Christmas wish list.

    This list just further proves why I need a fancy blender.

  4. I bought my ex a Kitchen Maid (that’s expensive and can basically fly you across the pacific) and we christened it the Turducken, because Turducken sounds like “A riddle wrapped up in a mystery inside an enigma” (W Churchill) (Turkey, duck and chicken: a deboned chicken stuffed into a deboned duck, which is stuffed into a deboned turkey)- the challenge being with the “Turducken” she could create culinary enigmas the equivalent of poultry Russian Dolls. Then we split up. etc.

    • YESS salmorejo is the best! I studied abroad in Sevilla and my host parents made it all the time.

    • I logged in just to like this Pete & Pete quote.

      also, “chalice of victory”= drinking your smoothie straight out of the blender jar.

  5. pro tip do not try to make the brazilian lemonade in a food processor, all the water will fall out the bottom.

    I made some version of it last night, with rum, which was delicious, but not in a blender.

  6. My peach tree has produced some awesome fruits this year, and my mom and I are gathering all sorts of recipes. The peach basil tea will be a great addition! (especially since we grow basil, also!)

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