25 Lesbian Relationship and Friendship Truths As Told By “The L Word”

25 Lesbian Relationship and Friendship Truths As Told By The L Word

1. Just because a girl says she’s straight doesn’t mean she won’t make out with you. (Or date you.)


2. Before you know it, your gay friend who used to operate as a single unit of human will become part of an inseparable gay double-unit of human and you will not be able to see one without seeing the other. Luckily, this additional human will  probably become your gay friend too.


3. You’ll never forget your first love.


4. Sexy Top + Sexy Top = Sexy Wrestling Match.

5. You will never stop feeling awestruck by her beauty/handsomeness, and bewildered by the fact that she chose you.

6. Seeing your ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend can be very life-affirming!


7. Just because you’re lonely and she’s pretty doesn’t mean you have to fuck.


8. Your first time having sex is never your best time having sex.


9. It’s not easy to figure out what to do with all those sex toys after the breakup.

10. There is a 100% chance that you will, at some point, have your heart completely ripped out.


11. You can never underestimate your family’s ability to deny glaring evidence of your homosexuality…

…and you can never underestimate your family’s ability to draw logical conclusions despite minimal evidence of your homosexuality.


12. Tegan & Sara already know everything about you, you big lez!

13. Truly lasting relationships require shared values and a similar way of looking at the world…



…and having the same opinion about Jenny Schecter.



14. Your lesbian friends and YES even your ex-girlfriends will protect you with a ferocity rivaling that of the biggest baddest big brother of all time.


15. There are 50 ways for your lover to refuse to leave you. 


16. Sometimes it’s just meant to be.


17. Your definition of “relationship” might not be hers.


18. Sometimes you have 99 problems and a girl is every fucking one of them and then you’ve just gotta do whatever the fuck it is that you’ve gotta do.


19. Gaydar is an Imperfect Science.


20. Guys will still hit on you. And not always because they think you’re straight.


21. It’s more than just a haircut, even if you only keep it for one season.


22. Dinah Shore is a really really special place to go with a broken heart.



24. Everybody is DEFINITELY sleeping with everybody else.

source: l word love

25. And the best antidote to a life filled with straight people… is a room filled with gay people.


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Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3211 articles for us.


  1. Even though it eventually became awful and I stopped watching after season 3 (Dana *sob*) this show was so important to me. The first season especially just consumed my life for over a year.

    Awsome list Riese!

  2. This. Was. Brilliant!
    I’m currently re-watching the whole thing (my little lesbian planet getaway), so it was a bit nostalgic to see a new article on the show. Also, a lot of your points are resonating hard with me!

  3. I miss the camaraderie of these characters but not the shit the show turned into. *sob* #TheLWord #Glee

    Perfect list.

  4. I know it’s over…but should I start watching this or did you just cover all the best parts?

    Because some of this is fucking ridiculous/hilarious/awesome.

    • You should still watch it. I didn’t watch TLW until Summer 2011, and I marathoned the entire show (all six seasons) in about a month.

      • me too!! Well, for me it might have been Spring 2009, but still. It got me through finals. I always catch on late.

        • I was marathoning Whe L word in Spring 2009 too… right about when it was ending on TV, I believe. Will never forget watching it with Spanish subtitles on YouTube while eating countless 100 Grand Bars and avoiding my 3D homework (for those who didn’t go to my art school, basically 3D=sculpture). Sorry, my lesbian awakening was more important than abstract cardboard shapes!

      • My brother bought me the entire box set for Christmas one year. I have marathoned this entire series at least 3 times…

      • I remember emerging from a long L Word marathon and catching some other show where a girl I was admiring started kissing a guy. I was so shocked, then remembered, ‘oh yes, real world has straight people’… Annnddd, back to my marathon I went.

  5. I stopped somewhere in the third season, but someone tell me when that Bette/Tina elevator scene happened? (I’m pretty sure it’s an elevator?)

    Because it looks really sweet.

  6. Awww. I’ve been in my feelings fort all afternoon and I was actually reading your old L word recaps and needed a break and saw this on tumblr and I was like How DId She Know?! Also the Yoda quote is written in the front page of my favorite self help book <3

    • FEELINGS FORT! This is the perfect structure to describe where I go to feel my feelings!
      (in an abstract way of course)

    • Jenny is probably my favorite. In all her scenes, she is consistently the most entertaining person on the screen.

  7. I think, for the very few Jenny Schecter appreciators among us, it’s a pretty slim chance you’ll find someone who shares your positive feelings and also wants to make the sexy time with you.

  8. lol,dana’s face when she was hallucinating is priceless!! This is all one giant true story

  9. This makes me miss Riese’s recaps. That stuff was pure gold. I kind of wish there were some really bad shows on the television, just for the lulz alone. Train wrecks = hilarious when you’re not in them!

  10. Number 7: #awkward
    Bwahaha! I love this post! All the feels!! And oh I watched it all, ka-chow! Stop acting weird Lj, LOL! I suddenly remember a line by Shane / Carmen aboard the cruise: “Even for Jenny, she’s acting weird” LOL!

  11. This brought back so many L Word feelings & memories as a bb queer just coming out. I feel really fortunate that now I have a queer community (& a girlfriend!!) & won’t be seething in jealousy while watching the show this time around.

  12. So happy this is on Netflix right now, I’ve been slowly rewatching the whole series.

  13. This is awesome! Great list! A girl being every one of your 99 problems is my fav!

  14. And the best antidote to a life filled with straight people… is a room filled with gay people.

    while that’s a pretty good antidote and mountain filled with gay people is better. Just sayin’.

  15. after being out for some time, it’s funny how when you finally get to sit down and see what the fuss is all about, you realize that your experiences with relationships all of a sudden has been represented in a show.
    damn. haha

  16. ‘The closet is a terrible barrier. It can also be used as a place to have sex.’ Jenny and Niki lol

    • Oh my God I forgot about Nikki! Damn…I guess this means it’s time to rewatch the show for the third time…

  17. Haha! Number eighteen is the realest. I think the thing about Jenny is she personifies all the cringe-worthy things you know you’ve done.

  18. “18. Sometimes you have 99 problems and a girl is every fucking one of them and then you’ve just gotta do whatever the fuck it is that you’ve gotta do.”

    This sums up a whole ten years of my life.

  19. I just started watching this and am on season 2. I’m so behind but I don’t care, I love it!

  20. I’m going to admit to something…I couldn’t make it past the first two episodes of “The L Word.”

    I know, I know, I’m a terrible queer lady-person, but the second that Marina started making out with Jenny in the bathroom, my first reaction was not the good feelings in my queer soul, but rather;

    “Oh my GOD WOMAN, did you get CONSENT?!?!?”

    …and then everything was basically ruined for me.

  21. seasons 1 & 2…some of 3 were amazing. I just sat in front of my tv and watched for like a week. i only left my room to eat, restroom, back to blockbuster for the other episodes. Now it’s on netflix;)

  22. should i feel bad that i knew basically all of those quotes off my heart?

    i just like staring at shane okay.

  23. love this. the l word holds a special place in my heart. i was a 110% gay for bette and then realized i was a 110% gay in general. nothing like the hotness of jbeals to come to terms with your lesbianism…

  24. It took me a little under two years to finish the entirety of this series and let me tell you, I’ve never had a bigger reaction to television.

  25. Riese, proving once again she is one badass list maker.

    And oh it counts, it certainly does.

  26. Ladies, Autostraddle is my little lesbian planet. (And A-Camp. My lesbian jesus, there are queers as far as the eye can see!)

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