25 Lesbian Hauntings, Ranked by Lesbianism

Spooky season is fully upon us! The gayest season of the year! There’s been a lot of talking of lesbian hauntings these last several days due to Netflix’s The Haunting of Bly Manor, so yesterday I asked our team if they wanted to help me rank lesbian hauntings by lesbianism, and they sure did! You will find our mathematically comprehensive and scientifically sound results below.

25. Veep haunts everyone living during the Trump administration

24. Alice haunts Kate, Batwoman

23. Tammy Lynn Michaels haunts Shane, The L Word

22. Emma’s mom’s internalized homophobia haunts Emma, Vida

21. Mulholland Drive haunts the exes who got back together and watched it with each other

20. Blake Lively’s A Simple Favor outfits haunt our dress-up dreams

19. That Dakota Johnson interview haunts Ellen

18. Mrs. Danvers haunts Manderley, Rebecca

17. The scorpion voiced by Tatiana Maslany haunts Helena in the box, Orphan Black

16. Your feelings about love being a lie haunt you while you watch The Haunting of Bly Manor

15. Tara Thornton haunts your sexy vampire dreams, True Blood

14. Albus Dumbledore’s words — “You place too much importance, and you always have done, on the so-called purity of blood! You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!” — haunt JK Rowling

13. Alison’s face and dolls and parrot haunt Emily, Pretty Little Liars

12. Erica Hahn haunts the parking lot of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, Grey’s Anatomy

11. Eve and Villanelle’s stabbing decisions haunt them both, Killing Eve

10. Netflix’s The Perfection haunts anyone who watched it

9. The decision to download Lex during the pandemic haunts everyone who did it

8. All the time they wasted trying to kill each other haunts Root and Shaw, Person of Interest

7. Literal emotional trauma haunts Theo, The Haunting of Hill House

6. The now empty sex bench haunts Ashley Benson and Cara Delevingne

5. Rachel’s witch list haunts her every time I tweet it

4. Medusa :)

3. Sue Perkins’ adorable and terrible puns haunt the Great British Bake Off tent, Great British Bake Off

2. The declarations we made about our exes on this very website haunt us

1. Sarah Paulson haunts Sarah Paulson

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

Heather Hogan

Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle senior editor who lives in New York City with her wife, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She's a member of the Television Critics Association, GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Heather has written 1718 articles for us.


  1. This is brilliant! Can’t wait to find out which ones will haunt my dreams tonight…

    (I’m hoping for a Blake Lively’s Suits/Sue Perkins’ Puns mashup, which, knowing my subconscious, is gonna be hot but disturbing at best)

  2. P.S., would love to read a McSweeney’s-style monologue from the POV of the now-empty sex bench. “It used to be I creaked with love//now all I do is creak with sadness” etc.

Contribute to the conversation...

Yay! You've decided to leave a comment. That's fantastic. Please keep in mind that comments are moderated by the guidelines laid out in our comment policy. Let's have a personal and meaningful conversation and thanks for stopping by!