14 Ways To Really Overdo It At Gay Pride This Year


1. Rainbow Body Suit

Screenshot 2016-05-23 14.35.36

I’m so happy right now


2. Straight Outta The Closet Gay and Lesbian Pride T-Shirt Mutilcolored

61trQGGXAEL._UL1500_

“This was an amazing gift! My gay friend absolutely loved it and almost refuses to take it off! The colors are super vibrant and the material is very soft! Thank You!”

— Alexis Lynn, 5-Star Amazon Review


3. 9″ Rainbow Heavy Duty Tanto Blade LGBT GAY PRIDE Godfather Pocket Knife

81QA0zjGEEL._SL1500_

You may not want to be the guy who brings a knife to the gunfight, but you definitely want to be the guy who brings this knife to a Pride Parade.


4. Rainbow Horns

Screenshot 2016-05-23 13.47.27

Zoobilee Zoo, Zoobile Zoo, magic and wonder are waiting for you! It’s as close as a dream and as bright as the brightest blue! Welcome to Zoobilee Zoo!


5. Gay Lesbian Pride Rocks Guitar Pick Necklace Plectrum Chain (R1)

712-6vC9FXL._SL1280_

Sometimes I’m about to buy myself a gay pride necklace and then I’m like, “wait a second, do I really want to invest in a necklace that is only utilizing 50% of available pride-related clip art?” ENTER THIS NECKLACE.


6. Funky Hawaiian Shirt, Rainbow Vertical Stripes

71pww+vPWVL._UL1500_

Aloha from Funky Hawaii, here is a shirt Emmet Honeycutt probably wore in 2002, Mahalo.


7. Rubies Costume Piñata Pup Dog Costume

81hpIIImYdL._SL1500_

Literally there is not a single dog in the entire universe who wouldn’t be thrilled to wear this outfit.


8. Gay Pride MARRIAGE EQUALITY Colorized US $2 Bill Supreme Court Ruling

81NdbAc-c1L._SL1500_

Whenever I think “freedom” and “equality,” I think “COLORIZED” THOMAS JEFFERSON.


9. Adidas Pride Sneakers

o-ADIDAS-GAY-PRIDE-570

These Adidas special pride sneakers were inspired by what happens if you drop a bunch of acid, eat an entire bag of Pride Doritos, and then throw up all over your shoes.


10. Pride Unicorn Floater

50724003“Listen, if some motherfucker doesn’t bring this to camp, I quit.”

– Laneia Jones, Autostraddle Executive Editor


11. Bi Bi For Now Pin

Screenshot 2016-05-23 14.18.36

I mean I get what they were going for, but


12. Rainbow Mohawk WigScreenshot 2016-05-23 14.58.30

“This hairstyle couldn’t be any more retro, and with the rainbow configuration you will sure have the most awesome weave around.”

Yes, that’s exactly what this is, this is the most awesome weave around.

For a more subtle (but more expensive!! :-/ ) look:

Screenshot 2016-05-23 15.00.08


13. I Love My Crazy Girlfriend T-Shirt

51z4I20bxBL._UL1500_

More like my crazy EX girlfriend, amirite? Ladies?


14. Rainbow Contact Lens

Oh no.

Screenshot 2016-05-23 13.38.09

OHHH NOOOOOOOO

Screenshot 2016-05-23 13.40.03

OHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Screenshot 2016-05-23 13.39.49

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Screenshot 2016-05-23 14.32.54

OH NO OH NO OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Screenshot 2016-05-23 14.33.01

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH NAOOOOOOOOOOO

ohno


Are you following us on Facebook?

Profile gravatar of Riese

Riese is the 35-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2444 articles for us.

55 Comments

  1. Oh man, I laughed so hard. My laughs became coughs. I covered my mouth but I couldn’t stop it. With each heave of my chest, a flutter of rainbow confetti shot from my lips. Now the rainbows coalesce. The tide rises. They are everywhere. I can’t get rid of them. I am drowning. The weight of the confetti pushes in, compressing everything below. The rainbows collapse in on themselves. They form a black hole. I fall through. Rainbow gravity pulls, stretching me, stretching time. It has been seconds. Or has it been years? Somewhere above me, there is light. I raise my hand against it. Rainbows cover my skin. Pride rages around me. I am the rainbow bodysuit.

  2. Psh, Adidas has nothing on the white Converse I bought when I was a sophomore in high school and colored rainbow with Sharpies.

    Except the colors on the Adidas probably don’t bleed and run together in the rain. But that’s the beauty of DYI queering everything you own, right?

  3. I’d wear rhw body suit, horns, Hawaiian shirt and trainers simultaneously. I’m going for a gay Satan who’s also pretty laid back but can bboy at any moment.

  4. I was just thinking that it’s time to order my bi-pride t-shirt to wear this year.

    Here I was wondering if I should go low key with just the bi pride flag or if I want actual words on it. Had no idea I should also be asking myself if I want to augment it with rainbow horns or a rainbow mohawk.

  5. As soon as I saw that knife I fancied greatly it but as I scrolled down to #14 and further still until I found my self in the depths of Gaydor I realised nay it was not a passing fancy, but a mighty need.
    Because only a weapon foraged in the capitalist fires of Mount Pride tm could lay the final blow to Gayuron, shut his evil eye for good.

  6. I may or may not have a set of throwing knifes in that kind of rainbow finish. Hint: I do.

    NOT BRINGING THEM TO CAMP because once time I accidentally tried to bring a knife through TSA and that did Not Go Well (read: 6 security people and a $300 fine D:).

  7. The rainbow contact lenses re my favorite! They are almost too much, but they will definitely catch attention if you want it. The Adidas are sweet too. My friends and I are trying to get a bunch of stuff for this year’s parade. It’s going to be the first one we go to, and it’s still a month away, but I can’t stop feeling excited!

  8. My ADHD went into overdrive looking at all of this stuff. I was all like, “oh wow what a way to over do -OMG RAINBOW! AHHH Another RAINBOW! Wait was that a knife? UNICORN!I can’t believe there are so many – ANOTHER RAINBOW! – cute puppy – eyes! Eyes! RAINBOW MOTHER F**KING EYES!” *thought about the life of a rainbow* “I need to buy a rainbow wig.”…” Why is there not a rainbow taco costume?”

    ……Still trying to recover from all the rainbows.

Contribute to the conversation...

You must be logged in to post a comment.