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Women's Magazine Profile of a Normal Girl

Brittani

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Brittani's Team Pick

Parks and Recreation writer Aisha Muharrar profiles a fictional girl in her hilarious version of a women's magazine interview. Muharrar is part of the "going barefoot but still hunching your shoulders movement" that from all indications has no traction and is something I just made up based on a tweet. Regardless, the humor piece shines as it subtly mocks the magazines she probably subscribes to because how can you turn down the option to renew when it's 67% off the cover price, ya know?

When she first moved to this city, she lived in a small two-bedroom apartment that she shared with the cousin of a college friend. Now, five years later, her living arrangements remain the same. Could this really be the same girl who once made a plate of nachos to bring to a Super Bowl party, then stayed home and ate them all by herself while watching a Lizzie McGuire marathon? She nods, remembering those nachos. “I still can’t believe my life. I mean, I really thought I’d be using my graduate degree.”

16 responses to “Women's Magazine Profile of a Normal Girl”

  1. kdizzle

    She nods, remembering those nachos. “I still can’t believe my life. I mean, I really thought I’d be using my graduate degree.”

    This is going to be me in 5 years.

    Thumb up 4
    1. Susanna

      Yeah, this is pretty much the worst ever motivation for finish my grad school applications….

      Thumb up 0
      1. Susanna

        erm, finishING. I am applying to grad school because I are smart and use grammar good.

        Thumb up 4
        1. Laura

          I once asked a University of Chicago graduate student why they are in graduate school. Her response “I was brain washed into coming here.” Then I asked if she liked Grad school and she said “not really…”
          BEST MOTIVATION EVER!

          Thumb up 2
  2. moose

    This is me. :)

    Thumb up 1
  3. M

    Goddamn this is fucking bleak

    Thumb up 1
    1. Grace_B

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who found that really depressing.

      Thumb up 0
  4. dizzy

    ‘But how did a little girl with a dream become a woman with small manageable goals?’

    Oh god. Oh god.

    Thumb up 5
    1. Lali

      I LOVED that part hahaha
      This whole thing is pure gold

      Thumb up 1
  5. Paloma

    Zits, yes. Losing my spirit, no.

    Thumb up 0
  6. doctormccoy

    ‘She takes a deep breath, mutters, “To the left, to the left,” then gives her full attention back to me. Then she cries a little more.’

    i don’t think i can breathe anymore

    Thumb up 1
  7. SoNotStraight

    I read this a while back when the article was published. Hil-a-rious. And also a bit depressing. Le sigh.

    Thumb up 0
  8. bornsecular

    bangs ARE the most complicated

    Thumb up 1
    1. moose

      love your name!

      Thumb up 0
      1. bornsecular

        thanks! jenny lewis will always define my feelings

        coincidentally she is a large influence on my feelings concerning bangs too.

        Thumb up 0
  9. Lemonnotes

    I cut my bangs just for that reason!

    I really feel like that chick right now while i’m stuck home doing nothing but eating oreo cookies and watching millionaire!

    Thumb up 0

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