I have been known, on occasion, to project my own gay feelings onto ostensibly not-gay people / places / things, and so I thought that’s what I was doing in that DirectTV commercial where Serena Williams turns into Wonder Woman. You know which one I’m talking about? It’s like Serena, then Wonder Woman, then Serena, then Wonder Woman, then Serena, then Wonder Woman — and then Serena IS Wonder Woman? My first and eternal crush was Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman. One of top five modern crushes is Serena Williams, which I talk about any time someone gives me an opening. So when the woman in the DIRECTV commercial sees Serena Wonder Woman and lustily gasps, flirtily tugging on her own ear, and literally swoons in a way that would have a Victorian woman getting swooped away to a fainting couch, I thought, “No I’m just being me; the fact that she can’t breathe looking at Serena Wonder Woman is surely a heterosexual reaction.”
But the more I watch that commercial — which is multiple times every night I watch the WNBA which is every night — the more I’m convinced it’s a gay reaction. But more than that, it’s a first time gay reaction. It’s the reaction of a shocked adult human who has just realized there’s more than one gender option for smooching. Serena Williams is making this woman gay in real time! She quirks her eyebrow! She inhales a second time! Her face is literally this emoji 🥵!
DIRECTV would have you believe she’s just surprised by the great deal. But that’s nuts! Some people don’t know they’re gay yet, but everyone knows there’s no such thing as a “deal” from a wholly-owned subsidiary of a multi-billion dollar multinational conglomerate holding and telecommunications company!
The only explanation is she’s turning gay.
See for yourself and post your verdict in the comments.
Update: When TWO members of a world-renowned LGBTQ TV Team see it without even discussing it.
This Serena/Wonder Woman commercial is so funny to me because you can watch the woman on the couch realize she's attracted to women in real time. #tweetingthecommercials