Do you know how hard it is to write a recap for a show that’s so well-written most of your recap notes are just quotes from the episode? No? Well I’ll tell you, it’s hard. But I’m going to do it. (Obviously). Because I have a lot of feelings about this episode and one or two huge giant things may or may not have happened. So. Onward!
Previously on Wynonna Earp: Goo! Briefcase! Plate! Dragon!
Great. Now that we’re all caught up, let’s throw some new players into the mix. These players are dudes wearing what look like plague doctor masks, hauling a human onto a chopping block, killing him to kill the goo monster inside him. Turns out the goo isn’t one but a few, and now that this guy is headless, only the Earpy one is left.
Speaking of said goo, it’s currently in Wynonna, who is feeling free and breezy now that it’s not in our Brave Little Toaster.
Goononna makes a dead rat smoothie while Waverly tries to reason with her. She remembers collecting shiny things for the goo, and Goononna says she did okay but there’s still work to do and only 12 hours left to do it.
Waverly tries to talk directly to her sister who she knows is somewhere inside her, and Goononna admits that it was exhausting fighting for control of Waverly, fighting all that goodness inside her. Waverly threatens the goo — she’ll use her intimate knowledge of it to find a way to destroy it but the goo threatens her (and her friends) — right back.
Waverly’s fierceness eventually annoys Goononna enough that she decides to off the littlest Earp right then and there, but the real Wynonna fights through just in time. It’s just the right amount of time, too, because Doc shows up to pick her up from work just then so the murdering will have to wait. Instead she keeps Waverly tied to the chair and shoves a gag in her mouth and skips outside.
Goononna weirdly and awkwardly flirts with Doc to distract him from checking on Waverly, who she says is just hungover.
So Doc doesn’t go in to check on our girl, which leaves her to hippity hop around using only her insane ab muscles, though it sadly gets her nowhere but horizontal.
Doc and Goononna get to Purgatory PD, where they give Jeremy the plate from the briefcase. Which he immediately licks, because he’s an adorkable weirdo and I’m so glad he’s ours. Anyway the licking came in handy because he knew the paint wasn’t really from the date painted on it and scans it to reveal what was painted over. It’s a weird crest looking thing, which Goononna uses Wynonna’s memories to recognize. It’s from the volunteer fire house.
She’s more interested in the donuts she’s eating and trying to figure out her phone’s weather app though, frankly.
Wynonna shows little to no interest in helping Doc check out the station and obviously-feigned interest in checking on Waverly, which Doc cocks an eyebrow at but says nothing.
Speaking of Waverly, she’s still tied up and knocked down at the Homestead when she hears a noise. She shouts that she’s armed and angry but is relieved to see it’s just Dolls who comes in to call her bluff. But as soon as he realizes she doesn’t really have a gun, he turns his own on her, thinking she’s still possessed. He interrogates her until she remembers stepping over his dying body as Gooverly and breaks down crying, apologizing.
She insists one last time that she’s her, and Dolls believes her. The problem is, that means Wynonna’s not Wynonna.
And Not!Wynonna has ducked out of the Black Badge office to rock the WayHaught ship a little, teasing Nicole and telling her that Waverly needs space from her and that she can’t meet Nicole’s expectations and it’s all VERY STRESSFUL.
Nicole is hurt but she turns up her chin, tells Wynonna to take a break from day drinking, and storms off. Which is too bad, because while Goononna was insulting her, Wynonna was wrasslin’ for control long enough to write “POSSESED” (sic) on a post-it. (Goononna teases her for spelling it wrong; and technically you can watch her eyes to see control shift from Wynonna to the goo and back but you don’t even have to, Melanie Scrofano is Tatiana-Maslany-level good in this episode and you can tell from the way she holds her damn FACE whether Wynonna is in charge or not.) There’s a little more wrasslin’, a pen through the hand, a threat, and then the goo takes over yet again.
Doc comes to fetch her, so she heals up the HOLE IN HER HAND, and saucily jaunts away.
At the Homestead, Waverly — who is still tied up for some reason? — explains to Dolls what it’s like to be possessed; but he seems to have an idea about it, and about the “Legion” she sensed. She says that the reason it leapt into Wynonna is because Waverly was non-compliant, but she isn’t entirely sure what it wanted her to do.
The adorable Dolls-and-Waverly bonding session is interrupted when Lucado comes in with her gun pointed straight at Dolls. Lucado wants the briefcase, but they’re not going to just hand it over so Lucado and Dolls fight. And while they’re being super badass, Waverly is being super adorable, frustrated they’re breaking their newly replaced windows and knowing this tussling isn’t helping anyone. So she wriggles her freshly grown wrist out of her zip tie and fires a warning shot into the ceiling, telling them to cut it out. They have bigger fish to fry.
Meanwhile, Wynonna is in a diner with Doc WOLFING down pancakes and doing some more weird overt flirting, which Doc again sort of tilts his head at; something fishy is going on here.
But for now, they have to focus on the task at hand, so they head to the fire station. The symbol, which features an image not dissimilar to the birdlike masks the dudes in the beginning were wearing, is on the building, just as Wynonna said it would be. As soon as they step inside, Goononna starts freaking out, which the fire chief who comes out to greet them notices right away. His name is Ewan and he’s connected to the ever-mysterious Juan Carlo and he calls him and his men The Order. He tells Goononna that they’re standing on consecrated ground and asks if she’s a sinner, which she responds to by whipping out a knife. Doc excuses them and leads them outside, and asks Wynonna why she brandished a knife instead of Peacemaker. When it becomes clear she doesn’t have Peacemaker with her, all of Doc’s suspicions are confirmed, and he plops Goononna right into the trunk of his shiny new car.
Doc takes her to the PSD, where Dolls helps him wrangle her into a cell while Waverly stands by and apologizing for touching the goo.
The team decides they might need to call in the big guns, and everyone looks to Lucado, but no one has been answering her calls, much to her dismay. They need a sample of the tentacle goo to try to figure out what to do next, so Lucado and Dolls send Waverly and Doc back to the arch. Lucado reminds Waverly not to touch the goo and Waverly assures her that she is goo free and proud.
After Doc and Waverly leave, Dolls asks her what the deal with that mission is, because they both know and resigoo will be gone. But it was just to keep them away for a while; Black Badge has obviously dealt with this particular demon before. Dolls even knows its name: Mictian. They really do need more goo, and there’s only one way to get it…they’re going to need to take it right from Wynonna.
Goononna teases Dolls for a bit but he’s all business. He holds up the shears he intends to use to cut his finger and Goononna tries bluffing and begging to get him to not, but then the real Wynonna fights through and tells him to do it. This gives him the confidence to commit and he just lops off her pinky finger, just like that. Gonnonna puts on a good show of whining and wailing as he leaves, but as soon as he’s gone, she smirks and wiggles all five of her fully intact fingers.
Waverly and Doc are at the arch, sure the snow and soil have cleared away any goo that may have been left, when Juan Carlo appears to give them a nudge the right direction. He tells them that the fire folks are called The Order and that maybe they should offer them something to get them to help them, then he quite literally disappears.
Dolls is working on a way to make something to expel the goo from Wynonna once and for all when Lucado finishes her experiment and finds herself face to face with a tiny shiny pool of goo. It sings to her and despite being the one who has said, “Don’t touch the goo!” the very most, she does just that.
Turns out Lucado is allergic to goo though, and she fights Goocado long enough to tell Dolls to gtfo, but then loses her head. Quite literally. It’s pretty gross. And probably not regenerable.
Waverly and Doc come back and think Dolls offed Lucado, but he explains she touched the goo they made from Wynonna’s finger. (That sentence, though.) They have to get the goo out of Wynonna and fast, but Waverly is worried about what they’re even supposed to do without Wynonna and Peacemaker to close the deal.
Doc and Dolls get to work making a potion that will trick the goo out of Wynonna while Waverly slinks out to chat with her sister.
Waverly ignores Goononna’s taunts about Waverly being better than Nicole, and about Waverly having “dark corners,” and tries to talk right to Wynonna. She doesn’t know how to save her sister. But! She has an idea: she can’t save her sister, but her sister can always save her.
She trusts her sister more than anything in this world and has no doubts Wynonna will solve this so she presses Peacemaker against Goononna to aggravate her and takes the goo back. Back in our Brave Little Toaster, the goo demon is impressed and pretty pumped to be free again.
And doesn’t hate that this is the body it’ll be in forever.
Gooverly flounces out and Wynonna tells Doc and Dolls that she knows the whole plan now and how to stop the madness.
The Order is at the Homestead when Gooverly gets there, but they are looking for the heir, and they call Waverly “just some girl” thus solidifying them as “bad guys” in my heart even if they are demon killers.
Gooverly is a little disappointed to find Nicole in the barn fidgeting with the shiny metal tower the goo built with all the knickknacks it had Waverly steal. Gooverly decides to distract her by pretending to cry about Wynonna being possessed so that Nicole will hold her close and be ready to protect her from her big bad sister.
Outside everyone has their guns pointed at everyone else until Wynonna chugs some holy water to show she’s not possessed. Ewan calls Waverly collateral damage (See? Bad guy.) which makes Wynonna RULL MAD.
Doc has an idea and an important thing happens. Wynonna asks where he’s going and Dolls asks, “Don’t you trust him?” And Wynonna says, “Always.” Not unlike another exchange form earlier where Doc also and without hesitation confirmed that he always trusts Wynonna. They were both subtle moments, not lingered upon, but very impactful. In my humble opinion. (Read that last sentence in Doc’s accent.)
Doc comes back with the commemorative plate, which convinces Ewan to give Wynonna fifteen minutes. When Wynonna enters the barn, Nicole is standing protectively between her and who she thinks is her girlfriend but is really a goo-fiend clinging to the metal tower and waiting for lightning to strike to make Gooverly a permanent thing.
Wynonna tries to convince Nicole that Waverly is actually the one who is possessed by saying two true things: Waverly is not Nicole’s responsibility. And they both love Waverly. Gooverly tells Nicole to just shoot Wynonna and that’s when Nicole knows Wynonna is telling the truth. Annoyed, Gooverly throws poor Nicole across the damn barn.
Wynonna tries to talk to Waverly; she fought the goo for weeks and weeks, she can do it one more time. Waverly fights through enough to talk back but she says she can’t get control of her body enough to drink the potion. So she reminds Wynonna of a time she forced her to drink grape soda until it came out of her nose, and Wynonna employs that same trick now.
Sisterhood saves the day again.
Waverly vomits out goo and a tiny tentacle demon that Wynonna shoots dead.
Nicole scoops Waverly up and says she’d shoot anyone for Waverly but probably they’re both glad she didn’t do it just then. Then they kiss and it’s sweet and great and lovely but like if they could stop getting hurt that’d be great.
Cue Wynonnus Interruptus.
Nicole isn’t too mad about it this time, and thanks Wynonna for saving “our girl.” Nicole reminds Wynonna she was pretty nasty to her today and Wynonna assures her that not all of it was true.
Dolls finds Jeremy to tell him Lucado is dead, but Jeremy has news too: Black Badge is gone. So maybe Lucado wasn’t being blackballed by her bosses after all…maybe she was just ghosted.
Wynonna goes to visit Ewan the fire chief and he says Juan Carlo wants them to be allies but neither of them are so sure about that. Wynonna’s team roster is a little full at the moment. But who knows what the future will bring.
Even though he called Willa the “rightful” heir which caused Wynonna to make her hurt face so that’s three strikes for me, buster.
Wynonna goes home and finds Waverly sitting on the stairs waiting for her, looking a little nervous. The goo told her some secrets about Wynonna, which makes Wynonna do this terrified little almost imperceptible gulp but Waverly says this secret Wynonna might not even know about and hands her a brown paper bag.
Wynonna goes into the bathroom and Waverly talks to her through the door, promising to be there for her big sister, no matter what. Wynonna asks exactly what the goo told her and Waverly says that the goo called Wy’s body “too crowded.” Waverly assures her again that she’s there for her, and Wynonna is sure gonna need it.
Because Wynonna Earp is pregnant.
I am going to be completely honest with you: when that pregnancy test said yes, I felt my heart sink. A pregnancy storyline is not something I tend to enjoy, and it was never something I thought I had to worry about on Wynonna Earp. I don’t know why specifically I don’t like them — I wasn’t even a huge fan of it on Orphan Black (mostly because of how it happened) even though pregnant Helena ended up being something of a gift. Maybe I don’t like them because usually they’re done stupidly; they’re rushed or poorly written and/or feel like a “we didn’t know what to do with this female character, let’s just knock her up” lazy move. But Wynonna Earp doesn’t do rushed or poorly written, and Wynonna Earp sure as shit knows what to do with their female characters. So why were they doing this? Well, after the episode aired, Variety ran an article explaining exactly why: Melanie Scrofano was pregnant in real life when they were filming. And that changed EVERYTHING for me. Because reading about what Emily Andras decided to do about the fact that her lead actress was going to be in her third trimester while filming was a pure display of the badass feminism that goes on behind the scenes of this badass feminist show.
When Melanie came to Emily and told her she was pregnant, Emily could have done a lot of things. She could have pushed the show out, a risky move for a new show. She could have tried to hide it with scenery and props, which hardly any show has ever done successfully. Hell, it’s a scifi show; she could have had some kind of bodyswapping demon swoop in and entirely recast the role of Wynonna. But she didn’t. Instead she decided to have “pregnant” be just another adjective to describe this wild, complicated, fiercely loyal, ass-kicking, donut-loving, goofball demon hunter.
If there was ever a show I could trust to make me love a pregnancy storyline, it’s Wynonna Earp. I trust that the show will stay our show, and Wynonna will stay our Wynonna. Well, as Wynonna as she can be without whiskey. And hey, her food cravings can’t be half as bad as Gooverly and Goononna’s, right?