WoWzer: Have We Got A Guild For You

Earlier this month, we gave you a sneak peek at Mists of Pandaria, the latest World of Warcraft expansion. A great number of pandas were born during Tuesday’s launch, and in a post-Cataclysm world three things seem clear. First, so many people have spilled over onto the new continent of Pandaria that Jade Forest chat is the new trade chat. Second, the female Pandaren flirt emotes need some serious help (“your happy place or mine?”). Third, Autostraddle has heard your dark, undead, soulless pleas for a Horde guild. And it has answered.

Behold, your essential updates on the panda-monium and Autostraddle’s part in it.


Autoguild: Alliance Edition

You already know about Alt Lifestyle Haircuts, both the thing on your head and the Autostraddle guild. What you might not know is that in the wee hours of recently, ALH reached level 2. So come, join, use us for our xp buff. We are on the Bronzebeard server, where the Alliance is strong and the leather sells relatively well. The guild bank is already filling up, and we’ve begun separately stockpiling any remotely gay items that we might give you if you’re really, really good. Band of the Unicorn, anyone? Send questions, comments, and carbohydrates to Lollyamorous or Cuddlepuddle on the Bronzebeard server.


Autoguild: Horde Edition

Once upon a time, you said things like this:


So we researched. We shopped and hopped. We created lots of random toons on various servers, investigating communities, and leaving no trade chat left unturned. And then there was one . . . one realm to rule them all! Garona met our criteria for having a decent Horde base (about 1 Horde player for every 2 Alliance is, surprisingly, relatively strong), a medium or low population so that we wouldn’t get shut out when MoP dropped, a basic PvE server so that you weirdos can name your toons whatever you want and not have to worry about getting ganked at every turn, and a friendly community with preferably LGBTQ or lady guilds to group up with if you need help. (We tried Proudmoore, of course, but the Horde to Alliance ratio there was 1 to 10. Plus the server is FULL, and we needed more space for all your awesomeness.) It doesn’t hurt that the server’s namesake is Garona Halforcen, who apparently was half orc and half draenei. That’s diplomatic, right?

And now, the charter signatures have been awkwardly gathered, the guild has been registered, Flannel Confederacy: Horde edition is a REAL THING, and my poor priest Holyhelle is all alone on Garona. Come, let me cleanse you!


Autoguild: The Website

Because we have to level our real life selves too, we can’t be logged in all the time. So you should know that the Autoguilds have a home-away-from-home website: Autostraddle WoW Guild, where you can post comments (anonymously or not) regardless of who’s in-game at the time. Check it out, send us any questions you have, and we’ll be around. Dark Lady watch over you. /wave

Don’t forget that the max number of characters you can have per realm has been upped to 11, that you can also send questions to Cuddlepuddle/Lollyamorous on Bronzebeard or Holyhelle on Garona, and that, like you, we appreciate having money around, so if you are in love with particular non-subscription games, feel free to share them in the comments.

In conclusion, pet battles!!



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"My beard grows to my toes, I never wears no clothes, I wraps my hair Around my bare, And down the road I goes." -Shel

Tami has written 2 articles for us.


  1. This is making it really hard to maintain my not-playing-WoW status, guys. Before, I was able to write it off by there only being an Alliance guild. But now there’s a Horde one too? I’m running out of excuses is basically what this is.

  2. Okay guys, I am leaving the comfort of my beloved Norgannon realm and venturing into the unknown wilderness of other servers for this.

    So excited. So nerdy.

    So irritated that my re-install is taking forever.

      • Some Korean game, if I remember correctly. It’s been years since I last played it. Spent hours on it after I quit RuneScape in 2007 and before I started playing Guild Wars.
        Here’s the website:
        Full 3D with pretty good graphics. Good class selection, intense skill trees, etc. Almost entirely combat and merching, though. It’s probably a lot better these days, but it was fairly fun back then, too. I only play RuneScape right now, though; I’ve been too lazy to wrestle with Wine to get my Windows games running on my laptop (I’m a Linux user). :P
        I remember that it was a big download, but it’s free (or, at least it was), so perhaps it’s worth it to give it a shot. :)

  3. Is there anyone who I can friend on RealID to be able to interact with the guild? I love my small raid team on Black Dragonflight too much to leave it, but I’d love to be able to run dungeons with all you wonderful Autostraddle members (leveling, heroics, or anything in between!)

  4. ohhh…funny story about my first hour on the expansion…..So I get the quest to go to the new area before I leave Org, I make sure to train on Herbs and Skinning. I am on the zeppellin up in the sky in Panderia. I haven’t even started one quest there. I see some herbs on my map and think I better get them since I have to level that skill too. So, I jump on my flying mount and leap off the zep only to drop like stone and splat on the ground. Yea, you can’t fly in Panderia. LOL!

    KK I am going to make a DK alt on Bronzebeard to join you all!

  5. Ughhhhh I was doing so well at the whole not-returning thing. Blizzard offered me two months free (I kept paying after I quit playing) if I decided to rejoin, and now I might have to take them up on it….. Flannel Confederacy is too precious.

    • we scoped out proudmoore for sure, but the horde side was so dead. also the server is full, and we didn’t want you guys waiting forever to log in or not being able to create new toons at all since tons of people probably made new pandas. wish it had worked out!

  6. For those thinking of coming back after an extended hiatus, you should really get the Scroll of Resurrection! Mostly for free Cata (if you don’t have it already) and a free level 80 character. AND! If you get someone from Ali Bronzebeard or Horde Garona to invite you, whichever character you boost to 80 gets a transfer/race change to the realm/faction of the sending party.

    (If Bliz has a fuss about the sending character not being high enough level to merit the free transfer, just tell em it’s not specified in the FAQs and they should stop faffing around and get it done).

  7. Hey I was so excited to hear about this guild, my GF (whom doesn’t play wow) told me about this lol. I was thinking of starting a new toon to check out the new realms and ifs it all works out maybe transferring one of my main toons over(since my current guild is pretty much dead) thought MoP would bring people back but I guess not. I iz a lonely panda :( Well I Hope to meet some new people soon.

  8. so tempted to start playing again… i stopped a few years ago after making level 65 on the ysera server as a druid but i think going back now i’ll be starting as a total noob…

    those pandas still look interesting though…

  9. I don’t know if anyone is checking this post still, but if anyone plays on Llane or Proudmoore server, ally side, I would love to have some buddies to run around with! My main toon on Llane is Rikyne, Proudmoore is Heligo. Message me if you see me online!

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