I’m A Newly Single Older Lesbian Baffled By What My Dates Expect From Me Sexually

Why is everyone so shocked that I want to be touched, but not penetrated?


I’m an older afab lesbian, got out of a long relationship, and I’ve recently started using apps for the first time. I am having a really confusing time trying to figure out how to identify in a way that’s legible to others. I see that people are using top/bottom/vers outside of kink contexts now.

A little background: I don’t enjoy receiving penetration. Years ago, I tried for a long while with 2 different girlfriends to achieve pleasure from it because it would be great to have that option, but it never worked. I’m not ideologically opposed to it but it doesn’t bring me any pleasure so I prefer clit stuff. I thought I qualified as vers, because I li...

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