What Is Even Happening in Andrew Cuomo’s Bananas New Covid-19 Poster for New Yorkers?

Here in New York City, the frantic, uninterrupted panic we experienced at the height of our first Covid-19 outbreak has now settled into a kind of uneasy dread whilst we watch the rest of the country begin to unravel. I can only describe my current emotional state as 🙃. We’re all having a great time, and while we wait for the epidemic to slowly circle its way back to us, we’re finding creative new ways to cope. For example, our governor Andrew Cuomo has recently taken to art projects! While Cuomo is no stranger to earnestly bizarre early-20th-century-inspired political posters (who could forget the Squid of Government Incompetence?), his inspirational new masterpiece is truly a sight to behold.

Cuomo’s preferred method of expression – posters modeled after the art of William Jennings Bryan, a Democratic politician who unsuccessfully challenged McKinley during the presidential election of 1900 – is admittedly a healthier coping mechanism than anything I’ve been doing to myself for the last four months. The poster is positively littered with fascinating details, lending itself to the perfect “tag yourself” tweet.

While we all do our best to fully absorb this timeless classic:

  1. When did we stop being SLUTs?
  2. Is this Governor Cuomo’s Animal Crossing island?
  3. “Boyfriend Cliff” – while this is obviously the best part of the entire poster, what does this image of Gov Cuomo racing his car towards his daughter’s boyfriend as he precariously dangles from a craggy precipice tell us about the governor’s very healthy and respectful relationship with his daughter???
  4. My dude, you have a lot of nerve putting “Love Wins” atop a rainbow at the top of your poster when your own cops pepper sprayed and attacked peaceful protesters during pride this year!!!
  5. Lots to unpack here:
  6. If you’ve had a nasal swab Covid test, you will recognize this pleasant sensation immediately:
  7. OK, I can’t resist – tag yourself, I’m Dr. Knows Best:
  8. I just

I’m going back to bed.

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Stef Schwartz is a founding member and the self-appointed Vapid Fluff Editor at Autostraddle.com. She currently resides in New York City, where she spends her days writing songs nobody will ever hear and her nights telling much more successful musicians what to do. Follow her on twitter and/or instagram.

Stef has written 464 articles for us.


    • It’s just the flu, Don Don said, all will be good. Tony, what should we do, Barr Barr asked, will we need more food?

      Don Don, you are the best, some interchangeable blonde bimbo on fox&friends exclaimed! Biden is a liar, antifa did it and Obama is crooked, they explained.

      Don Don was happy, this sounded right. Who could know that he hasn’t even tried?

      The sun is setting, on the day, and on Don Don’s mind. However he tried, he couldn’t be kind.

      That is because Don Don is an evil asshole, with cheese eaten by syphilis for a brain. All he cared about was what he could gain.

      Tomorrow will be a new day, people may die.
      But what do I care, Don Don though, I can just lie.

      About patients and bleach, science and facts.
      If someone complains, I’ll just give them the ax!

      Graves will be filled, people will suffer. But we will be fine, we’re to rich for the gutter.

      Tony returned, he begged and he pleaded. Don Don please listen, alas, Don Don was far to conceited.

      The sun will go down, the cities set ablaze. Don Don watches his shows, like Nero played his fiddle, while the evangelicals sing glory and praise.

  1. I can make sense of most of the details in isolation, and can make reasonable guesses to why they were arranged the way they were relative to some of the other details, but the whole is a barely-coherent mess. And if you *can* make at least some sense of it, you already have deep knowledge of the situation, so it’s not at all informative. Even ignoring that, this is neither a casual-glance poster nor a “take it all in at once” poster, but has all of the drawbacks of both and none of the advantages. It’s not even good at trying to invoke unity or positive vibes or anything like that.

    The one thing it’s good for is marveling at its trainwreckery.

  2. Oh no that’s Cuomo’s/the sentient poster’s boyfriend, Cliff, who is like “Yeah sure that’s a Love Wins sign, but you’re really leaving me hangin'”

    Anyway yes it is a Clip Art folk masterpiece and it makes me confused to be a New Yorker

  3. I’ve always loved/loved laughing at his posters, but there’s something about this one in particular, in that it mostly follows a very logical and self-explanatory progression…and then you hit boyfriend cliff. And are we supposed to know who Cara, Michaela, and Mariah are?? Why is everyone at the end of the rope, especially Captain, airborne? Does Cuomo discuss these posters in therapy?

    • Edit: I have now learned that the women are Cuomo’s daughters. Still not sure why they are airborne/equivalent to healthcare workers, but this is Cuomo’s fevered mind, not mind.

  4. Negative capability, people! Intellectual confusion is a good thing. I like the poster because it’s beautiful and makes me happy while teleworking during a pandemic.

  5. This poster is a lot. I didn’t realize he’d made other ones. I’m in NJ, and also waiting for the pandemic to circle back to us. I think I’m either Winds of Fear, or Clouds of Confusion, and that’s my emotional state right now.

  6. Wow. How did I miss this? And there are OTHERS?!?!?!?!

    I live in NYC and married a news junkie whom I’ve nicknamed Mr. Fauci for his daily 6:00 am COVID updates, so HOW DID I MISS THIS?

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