Weeds Gets Weird, Nurse Jackie Unravels, and True Blood Holds Off on War (For Now) on this week’s Tuesday Televisionary

The Best Show to Watch After Watching a Marathon of Movies About Teenagers With Babies and Drinking Problems: Drop Dead Diva (Episode 105: Lost and Found)

by Intern Lily

On this week’s episode of Drop Dead Diva, Jane finds out that it is her 32nd birthday. This, of course, is a bit of a problem as Deb was only 24 when she died meaning her sudden reincarnation has aged her eight years. To make matters worse, her arch nemesis Kim has replaced her in the case that she was supposed to work on with her past life fiancé, Grayson. To keep the bad birthday going, Jane continues to dig her own grave when she decides to fight for more than what the state offered as compensation to a wrongly accused convict. She loses the case and her client no longer will receive any money. But Jane is persistent and ends up finding a flaw in the system taking the District Attorney’s office to court for neglect—eventually winning $100,000 for her client.

At the end of the day, Jane’s friends and co-workers throw her a surprise birthday party where she sings karaoke and learns that with her new body comes a new, surprisingly beautiful, voice. She sings the song that used to be Deb and Grayson’s “song” and locks eyes with Grayson as she sings it. It’s a bit cheesy, but leaves a nice cliffhanger for next week’s episode which promises a range of emotions for us viewers as we watch Jane attempt to tell Grayson who she really is. I can’t wait!

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The Tinkerbell Hot on My Trail Award for Intervention

(by Tinkerbell)

hello autostraddle this is tinkerbell. intervention was very strange tonight and made me worried for the futures of drug addicts everywhere because they have ken seely’s number and will not fall for this shit anymore.

this week joey was a tattoo artist who gave tattoos while on heroin which is special and i will never have a tattoo even though i was going to get one that said “I love Wino and/or littlefoot” but now i am scared of the SMACK. once again there is premature reproduction.

there was a big car chase and lots of cell phone calls at 9:30 there was an intervention which has never happened before i didn’t even have time to look at all of joey’s family photos. at the end he got better i think i had french fries.

psa: if you are spending $200 a day on drugs please consider investing in autostraddle. it is better than drugs b/c of the double bottom line.

this is like the tom green show or the ali g show which was on before i was born. the addicts are like oh hello, i was expecting this and then he ran down the hallway which was an exciting chase scene like in the movies with cars that blow up that i am not allowed to see.

because i have a lazy eye i could not see the subtitles when joey’s dad spoke on a southern accent.

the moral of the story is that joey has a friend named pizza and ken seely can withstand all kinds of weather and before you get a tattoo make sure there are no cameras around.

who would name their kid PIZZA. speaking of i love pizza

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The ‘Where Do They Find These People?’ (or, The Swan Ate My Baby!) Award: Toddlers & Tiaras

(by Laneia)

Toddlers & Tiaras [henceforth to be known as T&T] is the kind of show you watch to make your life seem more normal. Or, if you happen to be living in the same city as some of the featured “Pageant Dads”, and you happen to be a gay man, it might also be the kind of show you watch to find your next closet case friend. Either way, I am not here to judge you. I watch for the comforting southern accents and immense level of what-the-fuckage!

The most recent show treated us to the West Virginia Walk of Fame and featured Jayla (6 yrs) and her father, Dwayne; Riley (6 yrs) and her mother, Monica; and Hannah (7 yrs) and her mother, Ashley. There is so very much I could say about Dwayne, but I’m going to start and stop at how mesmerizing it was to watch him coach Jayla through her routine during the pageant. It was mesmerizing, you guys. Seriously. I just sat there with my mouth hanging open.

Riley and Monica teach us the importance of PERSONALITY. Riley has a lot of PERSONALITY and her PERSONALITY just shines shines shines. PERSONALITY! Get some! But seriously, do you know what’s the best thing about Riley? She loves animals. Loves them! She licks her mother like a lizard when it’s time to kiss goodbye! She hops like a baby bunny and crawls around like a chipmunk and she communicates with all kinds of species! I love her. I want to go on a nature walk with her and talk to frogs. If I was a 6 year old, she’d be my very best friend.

Hannah, who’s been out of the pageant circuit for a couple of years, is a total package girl. She is the total package. The total glitz package, if you will. Do you understand? She is where it’s at! The Package. She has it. She also drinks coffee, which’s cool — I, too, drink coffee. Hannah does a fairly awesome Austin Powers routine complete with a blue velvet costume, chunky black glasses and a rowr! kitty scratch move that pretty much seals the deal.

Are you watching T&T? Did you happen to meet Tootie from a previous episode? If you missed Tootie, I feel so sorry for you! Almost as sorry as I feel if you missed this week’s Dwayne. Be sure to catch the next episode because it looks like so much win! Are they in Texas? Georgia? I can’t tell but trust me, it’ll be good. These girls look like professionals.

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I was going to talk about Summer Heights High and Party Down this week but there is just too much going on! You’ll just have to tune in (ha! get it? sigh…) every week to see when and if I ever get around to doing that.

‘Tron out!

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carlytron

lots of pizazz.

Carly has written 48 articles for us.

30 Comments

  1. I’m really digging this new format! Go team! Great post Carlytron… way to tie it together, way to be a TV junkie head, way to be adorable and way to make a comeback. We missed you!

  2. holy crap that heart-eating scene in true blood was disgusting. that’s not even an appropriate way to eat berry cobbler, i don’t care HOW delicious it is.

    and lorena’s whole desperate, flailing humiliation really broke my heart. i don’t care about sookie.

    and laneia – i love j. stackhouse more each week! it’s made me google ryan kwanten and everything. how is it they found some actors that are amazing at accents, and others that couldn’t carry one in a bucket? i’m looking at you, paquin.

    • oh christ I didn’t even really watch the heart eating bit, although that was mostly because I was skipping the MaryAnn bits because she’s so annoying, but second time round I almost vommed.
      Totally loved Jason this episode, and Sookie’s ‘Do not touch him’ bit was fucking brilliant!

    • zomg the terrible accents drive me CRAZY! and the way she has to contort her little mouth to achieve the terrible accent is equally annoying. honestly, how hard would it have been to just cast someone who’s actually from the south?! we’re out there! i promise! do other ppl get this aggravated about awful fake accents? this is a very touchy subject for me.

      um, but yeah, ryan kwanten’s accent is spot-fucking-on. you know who else has an amazing southern drawl? josh lucas in sweet home alabama. when i found out he wasn’t born below the mason-dixon, i was forced to reevaluate life as i knew it.

  3. I got into True Blood because of you guys and I have to say THANKS!! I really like the show. It is so throwed.

    -JASON STACKHOUSE is my favorite. At first I was like what purpose does his character serve, besides the dumb eye candy. But as time progresses it doesn’t matter because he is awesome. “White suite motherf*cker!”
    -More Lafayette
    -More Eggs for personal, physical reasons
    -Jessica & Hoyt FTW!! Sux being a virgin for life, or lifetimes in this case.

  4. Nurse Jackie is the best and, yes, she is making me nervous. Anna Deveare Smith is amazing as Akalitus and I screamed when she told the parents that the baby died! Screamed and then loved her more.

  5. i’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that the new Tuesday Televisionary graphic has been Carlytron’s dream graphic since maybe 6 years of age. amirite? [also i love it obvsss]

  6. Defying Gravity = downloading on my iTunes right now. Excellent choices for Hot Girls of the Week, Lola. Daisy was my favorite on DLM (besides Ellen Muth, obvs) and I definitely showed my mom pics of Laura Harris when we were planning my #alternativelifestylehaircut. I continue to be the loser of tv as mine hasn’t even been turned on since sometime early last week. And when it was on I was watching my Veronica Mars dvds.

      • “Are you watching T&T? Did you happen to meet Tootie from a previous episode? If you missed Tootie, I feel so sorry for you!”

        Oh no, I think I have totally mislead you. I just meant I saw it, I have not and will never meet her in person. You wanna know why? I don’t wanna go to jail for beating on a child half my age. They don’t take to child beaters well in the joint–unless of course they saw the ep, then they’d have my back.

        She is quite a character though. Future miss Carrie Prejean perhaps?

        • oh! whew! ok, b/c i couldn’t imagine why/how on earth you’d find yourself in the company of a 9 yr old beauty queen from mississippi.

          how awesome was it when she explained how a race between herself and Tootie would end? that was probably my favorite part.

  7. I *finally* got around to watching last week’s Nurse Jackie. This show is starting to stress me out so much. Like. Everything she did in the episode made me super nervous. And then the scenes for the next ep. Shit’s getting intense.

  8. Oh man. I just watched Intervention, and realized that the addict (Joey) did my second tattoo. When he’s running away, the hoodie he’s wearing is from Angry Moon — the best parlor in South Side Pittsburgh. (It’s also the only one open on Sunday, which suited my impulsive decision.)

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