VIDEO: “What Lesbians Think About Bisexuals” Is Hopefully Not What Lesbians Think About Bisexuals

Arielle Scarcella‘s latest video, “What Lesbians Think About Bisexuals,” features several lesbians sharing really special old-fashioned stereotypical ideas about bisexual women. It’s pretty much every nightmare response you could imagine, ranging from “slutty” to “indecisive” to “unfaithful” to “greedy” to “non-existent.” While it’s true that these outrageous and faulty ideas are shared pretty openly in anonymous comments and message boards throughout the internet, it’s really disappointing (to say the least) that the stigma around biphobia remains so minimal that there are apparently at least four women eager to say them on video. As the video goes on, Arielle kinda attempts to challenge some of their perspectives and there is one girl (in a white-t-shirt) who manages to avoid saying anything too terrible — assuming you make it that far without losing your shit / faith in humanity / will to live. I think it’s safe to say that the lesbians on this video are not representative of the entire lesbian community, thus throwing the whole “what lesbians think” title into hot dispute.

The good news is that if you’re bisexual and you wanna hook up with the dreadlocked white girl prominently featured in this film, if you have a really good personality and make her laugh, she’s totally willing to overlook “the fact that [you] had a dick in [your] mouth last week”! Isn’t that sweet?!!

(Also: at one point Arielle asks, “I’ve heard that some bisexuals think they’re better in bed than lesbians?” Really? I’ve never heard anybody say that! Not have I heard any lesbians claim they’re “better in bed” than bisexuals.)

Riese is the 38-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2843 articles for us.

283 Comments

  1. Yeah, this angered me A LOT. I saw it when I was just coming out and it made me terrified to actually approach any lesbians in fear that they would actually think all of this stuff. I’m so sick of the bisexual stereotypes!

  2. This makes me so sad, not because a few lesbians said hateful and ignorant things, but because I’ve heard all of this before. This is all too real. I was afraid to come out as bi because of all the stereotypes I already knew. When I come out toj guys the response tends to be “that’s so hot” and with girls it’s “ohh… have you ever even dated a girl or just drunk make-out?” Why must we be so hostile to each other!!!

    When I came out to my mom she said, “we’ll see where that goes.” Thankfully, after talking with her about it months later I discovered that she thought that was a perfectly acceptable response and it turned out she didn’t even know what bisexuality meant. Her questions included, “will you ever be in a monogamous relationship?” “do you have to date girls and guys sequentially or at the same time?” “well you’ll eventually choose, right?” “but when you’re with a girl you’re gay and when you’re with a guy you’re straight, right?” I came to realize through this really honest and respectful conversation that there simply isn’t enough honest conversation about bisexuality or general public visibility for those of us who identify as pan/bi.

    The sad reality is that most people are uncomfortable with ambiguity and gray areas. We’re all steeped in a society that forces us to choose between a variety of different binaries, and for those of us who live in that gray area it’s really hard to be understood. It’s been such a long and difficult process of accepting my own place in the gray area – years of trying to “decide” who I am more attracted to, every day waking up wondering who I was going to choose that day. It’s been exhausting. I’m finally in a place where I am completely happy and comfortable with being in the in-between. Now, a challenge for all of us – let’s create a more solid pan/bi community, keep coming out and being vocal, and do our part to educate those we know and love about what it really means to be bisexual/pansexual. Chances are a lot of people don’t even get it.

    For everyone: whether it’s about love or sex, it really just comes down to the person. Why are we still caught up in gender anyway?

  3. straight men: don’t see your bisexuality as a threat whatsoever, in fact, often think “it’s fine” or even “awesome” for you to have had sex with ladies, because they think they are what every woman truly desires

    lesbians: fucking terrfied that men are the ultimate sexual ideal for a bisexual lady so will never date you

    like hi guys patriarchy at work!

  4. Probably no one will see my comment but eh, what the hell.

    I remember when this video came out two years ago. I remember crying to myself to sleep, wondering how any woman could ever love me because I’m bi, and how terrible I felt for weeks afterward.

    I biggest regret now was not being a part of Autostraddle when this video came out. This is probably the most bi-positive comment chain I’ve ever read, and even today, with me being in a long term relationship with a woman and all, this was something I so badly needed to read. Seeing lesbian, bi, pan, & queer women all band together and say how horrific this video is, how it doesn’t reflect their views at all, and how they love bi women warmed my heart and shows me that this website is a safe place for girls like me.

    Thanks Autostraddle, keep being bi friendly and awesome <3

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