In an attempt to recreate the fun-filled, adrenaline-packed atmosphere of having a debate-viewing party in your very own home, we–the a-team of the twitterverse–have decided to do our debate coverage in the form of tweets featuring Editor-in-chief Riese, Senior Editor Rachel, Contributing Editors Carmen, Vanessa and Fonseca, Community Managerette Lemon (whose “real” name ftr is Kate Bennert #TheMoreYouKnow) and Contributors Carly and Taylor. They are qualified for this job via their strong feelings about the candidates, marginally competent knowledge of the issues at hand, and propensity for being funny on twitter. This will be more fun to read if you’ve watched the debate, but if you haven’t, we’ve embedded it for you!
sigh
— riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
And so it begins. Our fearless leader sets the tone (Riese, not Barry, duh).
“wait who is debating?” @homogoth
— carmen (@c_rios) October 17, 2012
Carmen, per usual, is conducting her work life from a bar on her iPhone, and let’s be real we’re all super impressed by it. Also, for those just tuning in: Barack Obama and Mittens Romney are debating. Let’s move forward.
@tayhatmaker and way white!
— carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
Wait but honestly how do they choose who gets to attend? Can we all attend next time? I want to attend.
why isn’t he talking about global warming
— riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
Fair and reasonable questions. Not met with any fair and reasonable answers from the tiny humans on my teevee screen, of course, but hey, we’re trying here.
clever how romney says the 1% will continue paying the same share of the entire country’s taxes rather than the same share of their income
— riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
Hmmmm, what’s that? Mittens trying to confuse people so they don’t know what they’re actually voting for? SHOCKING! Mittens is honestly like that dude in college who tells you it’s fine that you’re gay, you can totally still be friends, he gets it, you’re cool, and then a week later you find out he’s told the entire football team that he’s gonna help you find god and exorcise your inner demons, because we are all His Children.
Maybe Romney just doesn’t understand how taxes work? That’s fine, I don’t either. That’s why I have an accountant.
— carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
Real talk: I cackled loudly thanks to Carly’s tweets throughout the entire debate. Lemon can confirm these facts. (Remember, Lemon is Kate! You may see some tweets from @katebennert, but HEYO! That’s Lemon! Aren’t pseudonyms fun?) Okay but back to Carly’s accountant.
he’s throwing 60% out there to confuse people into thinking that the 1% get a 60% tax rate ! their taxes are 60% of overall tax base is all
— riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
Ugh, back to being That Guy. Did this confuse you? I tuned out so I wasn’t confused, but it would be fine if you were confused. Romney relies on confusion because that’s legit the only way anyone with half a brain and 1/4 of a conscience could ever really vote for him, amirite?!
Romney: “I’ll just pick a number… A random number… That I just pulled out of my ass right now.”
— Kate Bennert (@katebennert) October 17, 2012
Look, Carly had a point. I don’t like numbers either. But I’m NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT WITH AN ALLEGED TAX BREAK PLAN OF WHICH I REFUSE TO DIVULGE THE DETAILS.
Romney is TERRIBLY condescending. I’m SO SURE you ran businesses, Massachusetts, and THE OLYMPICS all by yourself, you dummy.
— carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
Okay, now we’re getting to the Olympics trope. I’m surprised this hasn’t been more of A Thing. I guess #binders kinda took the cake…but this was weird and funny!
Wait I just tuned in and Romney is saying he ran the Olympics. Should I bother asking what I missed?
— Vanessa (@vanessapamela) October 17, 2012
Should I bother? That kinda sums up my feelings with this debate in general. Did you watch? Did you miss it? I think it’s actually okay if you missed it. The whole thing is a farce. The people who care are the people who already know who they’re voting for. #LOSINGALLHOPE
mitt romney invented the olympics
— riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
As always, Riese is here to clear up any/all confusion.
Bill Clinton shoutout!
— carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
OMG BFF!
can we talk about Bain Capital now PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
— taylor hatmaker (@tayhatmaker) October 17, 2012
NOPE, NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYTHING RELEVANT EVER! HAHAHAHAHA JOKES ON YOU, CITIZENS OF AMERICA!
YEAH CANDY! #shutitdown
— carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
And now we begin Carly’s flurry of enthusiasm toward Our Moderator Candy.
“you’ll get your chance in a moment, I’m still speaking” oh NO HE DIDN’T
— carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
YES HE DID.
PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE BARRY
— carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
Getting a little overzealous but I ain’t even mad about it…
Maybe Candy will punch Mitt before Barry even has a chance? #hopeful
— carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
#HOPEFUL #SOHOPEFUL #HOPEANDCHANGE
lol debates. this is the best. was asked to stop yelling at the bar. #cantstopwontstop #sorrynotsorry
— carmen (@c_rios) October 17, 2012
#neverstopyelling (Side note, Lemon & I watched the debate on our couch in our pajamas. It’s fine, Carmen has enough zest for life for all of us!)
Obama is nailing the smirk… just the right ratio of ‘you have no fucking clue’
— taylor hatmaker (@tayhatmaker) October 17, 2012
God I never thought I’d love a man’s smirk so much. Hey Barry, heyyyyy.
“No, it’s not settled.” GET IT BARRY
— carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
Carly’s enthusiasm is the best. #GETITGETIT
hahah this debate in a bar.
— carmen (@c_rios) October 17, 2012
You guys, have we established that Carmen was in a bar? She watched the debate in a bar.
HELLLOOOOO katherine fenton
— riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
Trying really, really hard not to roll my eyes over her “I’m absolutely not a feminist” comments from today. Okay I’ll be honest with you, I’m failing. #EYEROLL
Someone let a woman in for long enough to ask a question…. Get her outta there!
— taylor hatmaker (@tayhatmaker) October 17, 2012
Shit, who let her out of the binder?!
Barry just used the phrase “this amazing woman.” which is a phrase Romney has never said ever.
— carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
You hush your mouth about Ann Romney, Carly!
Equality for women? That’s great… let me tell you about how I was in charge of a thing and tried to find some qualified women
— carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
Does he know how horrible he sounds? Does he know how out of touch he seems? It’s so confusing. Are you there, Romney? It’s me, truth and logic. WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED ME FOR SO LONG?!
FIND THE WOMEN!!! WHERE ARE ALL THE QUALIFIED WOMEN!
— Kate Bennert (@katebennert) October 17, 2012
Spoiler alert: CHECK THE BINDERS!
BINDERS OF WOMEN!!! it’s like mail order brides but for the cabinet!
— riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
BINDER! BINDER! BINDER! Did you watch the debate? Doesn’t matter if you didn’t! I bet you heard about BINDERS today. I bet you woke up and thought, “OMG THE QUEERS HAVE FINALLY TAKEN OVER THE WORLD, HALLELUJAH!” Not yet, young child. Soon. The Gay Baby Army is preparing. But not quite yet. Okay onward!
Someone bring me BINDERS FULL OF WOMEN
— taylor hatmaker (@tayhatmaker) October 17, 2012
#binders
That awkward moment when Mitt Romney says “binders” and you realize that you’ve been spending entirely too much time around transguys.
— Sarah Fonseca (@FonsecadelSur) October 17, 2012
#bindersbindersbinders
I invented women, and thought to put them into binders to keep them better organized.
— carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
#bindersbindersbindersbindersbinders
I think I speak on behalf of all women when I say that we prefer Trapper Keepers to “binders”
— taylor hatmaker (@tayhatmaker) October 17, 2012
Hello are we all clear that Romney is a FOOL and he made a dumb comment about #BINDERS?!
oh i guess women are the only gender who have to pick kids up from school, this is so backwards
— riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
Which is why they HAVE to leave work at five, no exceptions.
LOL LOL only moms get fair hours, if you’re a woman who doesn’t have a child you can just forget about going home at 5pm OKAY?!#Romney — Vanessa (@vanessapamela) October 17, 2012
Women are basically just extensions of kids, obvi.
This is the first time I’ve tried to watch one of these things. I think I’m falling in love because @mharrisperry just Grrrr’d at Romney. — Sarah Fonseca (@FonsecadelSur) October 17, 2012
#Grrrr
i know what a working economy looks like! whenever I play monopoly I’m always the hat! — carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
Pass Go, collect $200.
these undecided voters need a really angry socialist lesbian friend to intimidate them into voting for obama — riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
No fail campaign strategy.
“Arabs or Venezuelans” NICE ROMNEY, NICE, at least you pronounce it better than george w — riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
Still does not mean you should go there…
Oh my god he just said “The Arabs.” Can I just go to bed now? I can’t. #Romney — Vanessa (@vanessapamela) October 17, 2012
#TheArabs
THE CAPITALIST WITH THE ARAB STRAP — taylor hatmaker (@tayhatmaker) October 17, 2012
#BelleAndSebastianJokes
brb, assembling my lesbian socialist army, i will be the captain in my boots with my books and hoodie — riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
Riese’s actual twitter bio.
I’ve got a busy week ahead of me, starting my new small business Lady Binders (Binders For and Of Ladies) — carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
#BusinessOpportunities
really nothing tops off 9 hours of accounting (QUICKBOOKS!) for my lady-owned small business like this debate really
— riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
RT
Obama linking social policies to the economy — shocking! (Ok ok I will stop being cynical, I’m actually rly impressed that he did that.)
— Vanessa (@vanessapamela) October 17, 2012
I mean Marx did say…
i do for real feel that things are way better now than they were in 2009…. am i allowed to say that
— riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
Yes, yes you are.
Lorraine??? G’lorraine? Lorrain-a? HOW DO YOU FUCKING SAY IT?
— Kate Bennert (@katebennert) October 17, 2012
OH GOOD LET’S LET ROMNEY TALK ABOUT IMMIGRATION WHEN HE CAN’T EVEN PRONOUNCE “LORRAINE”
— carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
#merica.
have I mentioned how much I hate the phrase “The US of A” ? looking at you, Mitt.
— carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
Names are hard.
“We welcome immigrants. If you’re white.” – Romney #thisiswhatiamhearing — Sarah Fonseca (@FonsecadelSur) October 17, 2012
Once again. #merica.
Lorraine, did you not see my brownface performance? I can’t believe I even have to answer this. — carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
Does anyone feel like Carly is a more honest version of Mittens than Mittens himself is?
But…did Obama just say “gangbangers”? — Vanessa (@vanessapamela) October 17, 2012
I don’t remember the context but for real this was like when your favorite uncle says something weird and you feel sad about it.
if you’re from a foreign country and wanna become a permanent resident, you can join the army and go get shot in another foreign country — riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
Just FYI.
debates are kinda pointless when instead of debating the issues, a candtidate retcons his platform and they both fight over who’s lying more — riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
The point of debates actually is so that the internet can make memes.
I think that nitpicking and having the last word is a WAY better use of our time than actually debating the issues. — carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
Romney’s sons are liars so he has a lot of experience dealing with nitpicking and having the last word, ya know?
how can he say obamacare hasn’t worked when it hasn’t been implemented yet — riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
Because he’s actually a wizard.
This is almost as good as a Pawnee town hall #KNOPE2012 — carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
Needs more waffles.
“it’s not as big as yours” – Obama, re: pensions (PENSIONS, NOT ANYTHING ELSE) — carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
Head outta the gutter, everyone.
ugh i wish somebody would just come down hard on gun control — riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
PLZ.
let’s have 2-parent families and make abortion illegal! YAYAYYYAYAYAYYYY — riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
This is Romney “coming down hard” on gun control.
Romney actually turned a question about gun control into a soliloquy re: why we should all get married & have babies? But not the gays, duh. — Vanessa (@vanessapamela) October 17, 2012
Forget the presidency, the man should win an Academy Award.
HI WOMEN! If you are not married, plz marry a man rn so that anything that comes out of your vagina will not shoot ppl. Thx in advance — Kate Bennert (@katebennert) October 17, 2012
HI WOMEN, IT’S MITTENS! *crickets*
@autowin it hurts my feelings every time he calls Massachusetts “my state” seriously being so closely associated to him is hard on my soul — Vanessa (@vanessapamela) October 17, 2012
#Mittsachusetts
seriously goldberg, that’s the only question anybody ever asks, why couldn’t you ask about same-sex marraige — riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
We are unicorns we do not exist.
i want someone to mention LGBT issues so romney can pretend to like us #RETCON — riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
UNICORNS I TELL YOU! NO ONE SPEAK OF THE UNICORNS!
This is how we’re going to create jobs in this country, by destroying all other countries so we’re literally the only ones left. — carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
And then we will have Panem, and the odds will be (n)ever in your favor.
i feel like romney’s china shit is race-baiting, subconsciously — riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
Honestly is it even subconscious? Just assuming he thinks this is an okay way to live/think/exist…
THERE ARE EVEN FAKE GUCCI BAGS IN CHINA — taylor hatmaker (@tayhatmaker) October 17, 2012
NOMINATING THIS FOR FUNNIEST TWEET OF THE EVENING, YES EVEN MORE THAN THE #BINDER JOKES.
Someone should tell Romney that shouting at the TV during Dancing With the Stars is not the same thing as “talking to small businesses.” — carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
Duh, Carly. Businesses are people. The TV isn’t a person, silly! It’s a little box that can be HACKED like the COMPUTER.
romney sat at a table with people out of work, but never had to carry that table to its resting place 20 blocks from the goodwill — riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
Like Ryan posed for a picture washing dishes at a homeless shelter but has never actually spoken to a homeless person.
I had a full time research job in 2009 as the direct result of a nat’l science stimulus effort. WEIRD b/c the gov’t doesn’t create jobs! — taylor hatmaker (@tayhatmaker) October 17, 2012
LOGIC! Ah, stop using it! Mittens, he’s melting! He’s like a vampire, and logic is the sun…meltingggg.
Romney just ambled toward the crowd so ominously. Terminator moment — taylor hatmaker (@tayhatmaker) October 17, 2012
The fact that this is one of the less scary things Romney has done recently is cause for major concern.
romney i hope you one day spend thirty days on ramen. tell me HOW THAT FEELS. god. fuck you so hard. #debate #stilldumbasshit — carmen (@c_rios) October 17, 2012
Shit just got real, brought to you by C. Effing Rios.
Obama should be able to one-shot the national security issue based on that whole taking out Bin Laden thing — taylor hatmaker (@tayhatmaker) October 17, 2012
Real or not real? – Peeta (Real, whispers Katniss. Real.)
solid saving the 47 percent for the final arguments — riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
#WINNER.
someone needs to make a joke about binders YOU KNOW THE BINDERS I’M TALKING ABOUT and send it tobindersfullofwomen.tumblr.com — riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
Seriously the only joke every queer made today but it’s never not funny, y’know?
i mean “a binder full of womAN” could be a way to describe a really cute boi — riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
That’s true, that’s real. Forget the binders, bring on the BOIS!
Bindr: a new iphone app that lets you find women near you, for whatever purpose.
— carly usdin (@carlytron) October 17, 2012
Copyright this immediately.
i feel like i could get mad hits tonight by tweeting something radically illogical and totally incendiary about the debate, expounding on it
— riese (@autowin) October 17, 2012
And that’s a wrap folks. Are we gonna get mad hits? Have we been less radically illogical than Mittens was last night? Who’s to say. Hopefully you had fun. We had fun. We have carpal tunnel syndrome now but it was worth it. This is the price we pay for freedom, ya know?
The Second Presidential Candidate Debates 2012: Don’t cry because it’s over…smile because it happened.
See ya next time, kids.
Pages: 1 2 3See entire article on one page
I’m still surprised Romney let the debate go that late. Shouldn’t he have sent Candy Crowley home to cook dinner for her family?
His comment about women needing to be home to cook dinner. I was like, err, actually, my dad is the cook in the household. My brother is cook #2. My mother cooks pasta. Once a year.
Same. My stepfather always cooks and is home before my mom who has a more demanding job that keeps her working late. Take that mittens.
Sidenote: Despite my mom putting in extra hours and having a more demanding job, my stepfather still makes significantly more money than her and is at a higher manager level than her – and they’re at the same company. And he’s only been at the company 24 years vs her 20 years.
This is fantastic, Vanessa. My favorite tweet of last night came from @r_ortega11, one of my Choice USA field associates:
“BINDR is the best app for finding women in your area who are DTW (down to work). #debate2012”
Loving the Trapper Keeper comment. Also did anyone else think “Binders? BINDERS? FOOL IT’S 2012! This is the future!”
Seriously, though, everything that comes out of Mittens’ mouth is bullshit or condescension or both. I don’t understand how anyone (but women especially) feel okay voting for him.
Also how on earth is anyone undecided in this election?
relevant:
http://bindersfullofwomen.tumblr.com/post/33749506896
OMG yes. Best thing in life.
Also also also Mitt’s “binder full of women” comment was a lie, too: http://dangerousminds.net/comments/mitts_binders_full_of_women_story_is_made-up_bullshit
i thoroughly enjoyed this. thanks :)
Can I just say the nickname “Mittens” just warms my oatmeal?
“Binders full of women.” I still can’t.
Omg, “#Mittsachusetts” is fucking golden. My newly-converted-liberal-mother was screaming about how she’s tired of hearing about Mitt and Massachusetts.
This almost makes me wish I had a twitter account.
#Mittsachusetts was all lemon, you guys. i can take zero credit — she is the funny roommate, always & forever. i’m just organized and good at reminding everyone to buy toilet paper.
Why do these keep happening the same night as Supernatural?
SERIOUSLY with the Massachusetts thing. As a former and always proud Massachusettsian, I’m going to need for you to stop referencing my home state as why you should be president. WE ALL HATE YOU, ACTUALLY.
amen
I’d really like to hear from a republican voting queer on Autostraddle (rumour has it they exist). That would be a really interesting article.
Seconded. That would be genuinely interesting.
According to the Washington Post 1/4 gays are voting Romney. That must mean there MUST be on on Autostraddle. Maybe.
The best thing about this debate has, of course, been all of the facebook statuses from my ultra conservative “friends”. First, my brother admitted that Obama did do much better, but that he was still “full of it.” And just now I saw one calling Obama a big liar, and Romney a “straightforward”, “honest” man, while Politfact ran a story about Romney telling 31 lies/myths in 41 minutes, a new personal record.
Of course Obama/Biden aren’t without their faults, but at least they get their facts straight.
As frustrating as this election cycle is at least it’s amusing?
Every time Romney said something stupid, annoying or demeaning, I threw pretzels at the tv. My digs ate ALOT of pretzels Tuesday night. Also, also @taylor-s, when he said “binders” I totally screamed at the tv “Put ’em in a Trapper Keeper so they can’t accidentally slip out!”
Lol @ this > http://www.theonion.com/articles/tearful-mitt-romney-announces-he-has-rare-disease,29959/
“Tearful Mitt Romney Announces He Has Rare Disease Where You Can’t Sit Quietly On Stool When Repeatedly Asked To”
“Without meaning to, I reflexively stand up, stride forward, and continue trying to speak—doing so even, and especially, when one or more people are instructing me to stop talking immediately and go back to my stool. It is a truly debilitating condition that I have battled all my life.” Romney said additional symptoms of the syndrome include an inability to maintain a convincing human smile, inexplicable reversals of previously stated policy positions, and an impaired ability to chuckle without sounding like a deranged maniac.
All I thought when I saw this was, “yeah, but he’d never say that because a preexisting condition means a hard time getting healthcare.”
When that is the reason an Onion article is unbelievable, there is something wrong with politics.
I want to join the lesbian socialist army.
life dream, tbh
Can I nominate Carly or Lemon to moderate the next Presidential debates? Ladies were on FIYAH. All of you.
Vanessa! Can I get all of my news sent to me/recapped like this?
seconded
i will try to make this a thing
get ready for curated newsletters of tweets in your inbox once a week
or more likely just another post like this
so glad you enjoyed <3
Okay during the immigration part I swear I heard Romney saying something to the effect of children born in the US with immigrant parents should get a clear path to citizenship, like joining the army. My dad also heard it that way too. He may have meant immigrant children, but I’m 95% sure he SAID children of immigrants born here. Anyway my point is anyone born here is a citizen and they don’t need any path, it’s the 14th amendment. And if he meant immigrant children, there is already the joining the army thing in place, he wouldn’t be making that policy, it exists.
This is significantly better than the debate itself. And, Lemon/Kate– congratulations on dropping your anonymity!
<3