Transparent Episode 102 Recap: You Are Looking At A Posturing Goose

Before we really get started on this recap, a few things! Previous commenters on the previous recap were super correct in pointing out that I assumed Judith Light’s character was the grandmother of the family rather than their mom. All I can claim in my defense is that having plates of cantaloupe ready for when company shows up feels like the most grandma thing in the world to me, but I recognize that my grandma feelings are subjective and have no bearing on the real world.

Also! May I recommend reading Jen Richards’ piece on Transparent in the Daily Dot if you’re interested in the show. She got to hang out at Paramount as the show was put together and it’s really interesting to learn more about how it was made, and about Soloway’s vision for the community on set and effort to hire trans people in every department on set. It’s also really good to get Richards’ thoughts on Maura’s casting and character, although of course she doesn’t and can’t speak for all trans women. Also her ultimate takeaways about the show ring very true to me, and speak to what I like and also some of what I’m not wild about:

The show isn’t perfect, of course. While it does a superlative job of mining the particular, it’s still a particular I’m largely exhausted by. My original impression of the first cut of the pilot was that it was beautifully written and performed, but that I had no interest in another story about a late-transitioning, middle-class, white trans woman with a family. It had long been the default depiction of trans people, best captured by Jenny Boylan’s She’s Not There (Boylan was also an early consultant on the show).

In this way, it suffers the same fault, and merits the same defense, as the HBO series Girls. The world of Girls is small and insular, but it’s Lena Dunham’s world. She’s a talented woman writing what she knows, and no show should carry the burden of being all things to all people.

This show actually does remind me of Girls a lot (I don’t like Girls, so far I like Transparent better), this feels like a useful comparison. I like Transparent! I think the writing and craftsmanship of the show is excellent, and the acting is great, and a lot of the painful family stuff really resonates. Similarly to Girls, though, sometimes it’s hard for me to feel like the conflicts are something I can get really invested in, because many of these characters are insulated by privilege in such a way that I don’t always feel that the stakes are particularly high (like with Josh’s character, for instance). The character whose story I’m most invested in, Maura, is the one we’ve seen the least of so far. Stuff to think about! Anyhow here’s the show.

We open in exactly the same shot we ended in: Maura greeting her philandering daughter and Tammy, and being surprisingly chill about the fact that they are in her home unannounced. Tammy recovers before Sarah, greeting Maura as “Mr. Pfefferman” (and acting weirdly surprised to run into Maura in her own home). Tammy also assesses the situation with more common sense and sensitivity than any of the kids, and follows up with “You look awesome.” Maura and Tammy make small talk for a little bit before Sarah gets herself together to ask about Maura’s outfit.


You told me these waffles were gluten free. This is why we have trust issues

Tammy offers to leave, but Sarah wants her to stay and is also holding her hand. Ruh-roh, Sarah. You are entering the DANGER ZONE. Maura is then forced into having the conversation she had explicitly said she wasn’t ready to have yet, so that’s great.


Instead of traditional vows. we have chosen to sing “Come To My Window” as a duet.

Maura: When I was a kid, ever since I was five, I felt that something was not right. And I couldn’t tell anybody about my feminine side… It was a different time, a very different time. I just, I had to keep all these feelings to myself… Please, God, let me do this. People led secret lives. And people led very lonely lives. And then of course the internet was invented.

Tammy: The internet! Can’t hate on that internet, it’s magic.

Tammy clearly reads Autostraddle.

Sarah asks if this means Maura is going to “start dressing up like a lady all the time,” and Maura laughs and cuts her off to say “No, honey. All my life, all my life I’ve been dressing up like a man. This is me.”


Tammy is allowed to sit on the bed with the rest of us once she’s had time to think about what she’s done and apologize.

Interestingly, this whole scene happens without the use of the word “transgender” — now that I think about it, I’m not sure it’s been used in the show at all. Maura also makes no mention of the fact that her daughter was using her house as a sexy love nest and was about to fuck her old girlfriend apparently ON MAURA’S BED. Either Maura is way more forgiving than I am or coming out left her too drained to bring that up but either way, that is not going to fly with me, future children of mine. Have your furtive affairs elsewhere please.

Now it’s 1989! Maura is a professor of Political Science and has a cool office with a frosted glass door like a film noir private investigator. Sidenote if there were a spinoff where Maura is a private investigator I would be very invested, would definitely donate to a Kickstarter. Alone in her office, she unwraps a colorful garment and starts taking off the tie of her dudely button-down. But then a student is knocking on the door, probably for some really stupid reason, like she missed the lecture and was hoping that maybe she could have the entire thing related to her again verbatim including any Powerpoint slides right now, at what appears to be about 7 pm. Seriously undergrads you’re the worst a lot of the time. Anyways! It’s even more the worst for Maura because the only alone time she had to try to figure some stuff out gender wise is being ruined by some jerk who probably plays 2048 all through class. I would fail that girl for sure.



Creepy stalker or student who’s emailed you 47 times about changing their grade because they feel like if you really think about it they deserved a B?

Back to the future! Sarah and Tammy are driving home in silence until Sarah starts giggling, the sort of helpless ah-fuck-it giggle when you realize you have no idea what your life even is right now. I feel for her sort of, because certainly this afternoon didn’t go the way she had planned, but ultimately I’m a lot more interested in how Maura feels after that conversation than how Sarah feels. So far the show is about 10% Maura’s life and 90% how other people feel as a result of Maura’s decisions. I hadn’t realized until this episode that the idea for this show rose out of Jill Soloway’s parent coming out as trans, and so I understand why the show is working this way if it’s based on her experiences, but it’s still not really the angle I’m most interested in. In the midst of Sarah’s laughter, Tammy says “That was really brave of her, you know? It was! That’s hard!” Sarah seems perturbed at “her” because ugh, Sarah, but we’re quickly distracted by the fact that Tammy’s wife and daughter are over at Sarah and her husband’s house for a playdate! MOST EXCELLENT. Maybe they’ll become a healthy polyamorous family unit and communicate a lot.


He was like “No it’s cool, I think misandry jokes are funny” and I was like “yeah, jokes, that’s definitely what they are”

Over at the house of King of the Hip Bros, where everything that the iPhone flashlight touches is his kingdom, Josh has a pizza and is bickering with the two girls, one of which he is dating and whom I can’t tell apart. We learn that his girlfriend is pregnant, and has an abortion scheduled that conflicts with their recording schedule, because of course Josh’s arc would be a real-life re-enactment of “Brick,” which Josh is probably too cool to listen to.


Hold on I just have to get five stars on this photo shoot because I need one more K-Star to afford this alternative lifestyle haircut

Elsewhere, Ali is engaging in a strenuous session of intercourse with her personal trainer to kill two birds with one stone, although it seems fair to assume he is no longer just her personal trainer. I’ve never seen someone wear a sweatband during sex before and honestly it’s a genius idea? I will try it out and get back to you. Ali and the dreamy Derek lament that is already taken and also make a green smoothie in his blender — I also have that same blender and it’s really great for making smoothies in, for real. I checked and it looks like is just being squatted on by some vaguely porny organization — honestly it might be worth it for them to buy the domain out from under them but what do I know. I’m just a girl standing here with her blender asking it to love her. Ali suggests “” which sort of alarmingly suggests she might think twerking is a sex act; Derek is understandably skeptical.


This tree pose is really getting my chakras all revved up. I think that’s my chakras.

Derek’s roommate comes home and makes the mistake of telling Ali “you must be Stephanie,” which could be a potentially awkward faux pas for everyone, but they work as a team for an amazing recovery! Roommate makes a quick save with “Ali? Even better!” and Ali agrees “Oh, I am SO much better than Stephanie.” High fives all around! Fuck Stephanie!


I had roommates but they kept wanting me to “be involved in the house” and “wash my dishes” and “pay rent” so yeah, technically I do live in my mom’s basement

Over at Chez Marital Bliss, Sarah and Tammy arrive to find Ken Marino grilling on a giant machine while Barb keeps him company. I can only imagine the huge and deserved fight that Barb and Tammy will have later this evening about the fact that Tammy left her there for god knows how long to hang out with a straight man while he grills.


Ok wow I’m so sorry seriously I will take the compost out for the whole next month

Leaving someone alone in the presence of a grilling straight man so you can cheat on them is probably the worst thing you can ever do to anyone ever.  There is no higher differential than that between how much straight men enjoy talking about grilling and how much other people enjoy hearing them talk about grilling. Here, I made a visual aid.

The best part of this scene is that Sarah finally gets to meet Grace the Biter, my favorite character on this show. She’s not biting anyone at the moment but I’m optimistic about the future. Tammy walks over so she and Sarah can exchange glances, glances which would make it SUPER obvious to anyone who was paying attention that they’re thinking about having a three-day-long sex marathon with roleplaying and an obstacle course and a schoolgirl outfit. Probably no one’s paying attention though so probably it’s totally fine and nothing bad will happen at all.


It’s like my emotions are on a screened-in trampoline and they’re all bouncing around with each other

Josh and his elfin changeling girlfriend talk about the fetus inside her. It sort of feels like Josh is on an entirely separate show that has for some reason been spliced into this one, probably by accident. Mostly I’m confused about why his girlfriend is with him at all because she doesn’t seem to like him much more than I do.


Is it black bears or grizzly bears where you’re supposed to play dead? Maybe if I climb a tree and wait for him to leave

Starsweep across town where Sarah is getting up out of bed in the middle of the night to drive across town and pick up Tammy for a Secret Rendezvous. Len must be a really deep sleeper because my partner wakes up even if I just turn my phone on in the middle of the night to finish a fashion show in Kim K: Hollywood, which is a super normal and health thing to do. Anyways now Tammy and Sarah are having genuinely hot sex in the backseat of Sarah’s van, which includes Sarah screaming out that she “fucking loves” Tammy. Real feelings or the kind of feelings that you think you have when the girl you were in love with when you were twenty is fucking you in the same van that you use to drive your kids-that-you-have-with-your-husband to soccer practice? Who can say!


Ouch no that’s my hair — yeah I think it’s your left hand that’s caught in it — no, just hold still for a second

Tammy and Sarah discuss how good the sex is, and how they either don’t have sex or don’t have good sex with their actual spouses. This maybe shouldn’t be a surprising realization on either of their parts, usually you’re not cheating with your ex because your marriage is just so stable and healthy that you can’t take it, but okay. They’re holding hands, it’s cute.


Do you ever stare up at the stars and think about whether you’re more of a Scully or a Mulder

Maura is recounting her coming out to Sarah for the support group at the LGBT center, how it was “tragically impromptu,” and how she still has to come out to her other two kids and also the entire world. After the meeting is ended (by Zachary Drucker, who plays the facilitator) Maura tries to get some other meeting members to go out and grab a celebratory drink with her, but is rebuffed as basically everyone here is sober. Tammy’s sober too I think; they’re all gonna be really pleased to know that there are sober spaces for evening activities at A-Camp.


So I said hold up right there, buddy, I ordered a Reuben and this looks like a Rachel

Maura ends up hanging out with Davina, played by trans actress Alexandra Billings. They’re gonna go hang out at Davina’s place and have wine and crackers!


I just feel like, you know, is this even about A anymore? Are we ever going to find out what happened the night Ali disappeared? I’m starting to doubt it.

Starsweep to suburbia, where Sarah and her husband are having a super boring and contentious married couple fight. I would say it’s a caricature of married couple fights if I hadn’t had basically the exact same argument — “okay, you’re using that tone again. Well if you don’t want me to use that tone, then you can’t use that tone. See you’re doing it right now!” — a dozen times. As they bicker, Sarah makes up excuses for why their car has the seats folded down and is also soaking wet. I don’t think she has to try that hard because Len strikes me as the kind of guy who thinks that lesbians have sex by holding hands.


Okay I think we have to bury the evidence in the backyard. Did you watch the episode of Orphan Black where Donnie and Alison did this? Did you take notes?

Ali and Josh are picking up their mom’s standing order from the deli en route to go hang out with her, talking about tofu schmear and abortions. I keep being surprised when I see any other major characters in the same frame as Josh because I keep forgetting that his arc is technically part of the same show as the rest of these people.


Shouldn’t have tried sampling smoked salmon dip while hungover

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Originally from Boston, MA, Rachel now lives in the Midwest. Topics dear to her heart include bisexuality, The X-Files and tacos. Her favorite Ciara video is probably "Ride," but if you're only going to watch one, she recommends "Like A Boy." You can follow her on twitter and instagram.

Rachel has written 1142 articles for us.


  1. This may be a silly thing to comment on, because this is an awesome recap and there are many actual issues of importance to discuss, but *sobs* Bagel Rising in Allston just recently closed. It’s now a trendy coffee shop? So I guess there just is no more good tofu cream cheese anywhere. Sigh.

    • WAIT really????

      this is actually devastating to me, I used to live a block from Bagel Rising and it fueled my life.

      RIP, best bagels in the GBA

    • this will END ME. god this is the worst news since I wasn’t able to make it back to Diesel the last time I was in town. Is the Dosa Factory in Central Square still there at least?

      • It is! thankfully! Re: Bagel Rising, it’s the same owners but they completely changed and destroyed the menu. Tragically. I haven’t had the heart to go there since. At least Kupel’s is safe.

  2. This recap is great, you are great, and I am really fond of how “I would donate to a kickstarter for that” has become the default way of indicating we like an idea for basically anyone aged 15-35.

  3. Broadly speaking, the concept of this show feels kinda similar to six feet under. The fairly self-absorbed adult children and the parent who wants intimacy/a better relationship with said children and struggles with loneliness. And all the characters are generally flawed and not always likable, therefore more like real people, which I enjoy. Also they both feature a privileged white family…

  4. When Maura declared that “$2,000” a month rent was “cheap” I was like HA!

    I just finished watching the entire first season last night. Anyone else get really sad and want to cry at the intro music?

    “I really wish we spent more time in this scene and got to see Maura and Davina have a more complex conversation — even when we’re following Maura alone, most of the information we’re getting is still about her kids, not about her as a separate individual.” – This. They could have done this if they just cut out all of the Josh scenes.

  5. I know Mari and I talked about this in our article about Transparent, but jeez, that line “No, honey. All my life, all my life I’ve been dressing up like a man. This is me.” is seriously so, so, so good. I’ve cried every time I’ve seen it, every time in the previews, and again when I watched it.

    Also, I related so much to buying women’s clothes and then throwing them out. I did that so many times before I was finally able to come out.

    And I totally agree about this show being too focused on the other characters and also one more story about a rich, white trans woman.

    Basically, I like this recap.

    • Thank you Mey! I agree re: that line, I think that Maura’s scenes are really good, her lines are often great and Tambor is obvs a talented actor. I wish she had more screen time!

  6. Can we talk about how Barb is played by the amazing Tig Notaro, and had exactly zero dialogue the entire season long, on top of having to bro it up with the insufferable Len in her only screen time.

    • YES. I think we hear Barb talking to Len a bit but we never even see Barb close enough to identify her as Tig which sucks because to me, that’s never giving the audience a chance to identify Barb as this human person with feelings and a life who is being fucked over by this whole thing. Like it feels manipulative to never allow the audience the chance to even SEE Barb and be like “oh, there’s the person that is being destroyed by all this” basically to make sure we can still sort of like Sarah and Tammy together but maybe that’s just me.

    • That is BONKERS seriously. What a waste of someone super talented. I mean a mannequin could have essentially played Barb in this scene.

    • I LOVE TIG and had no idea she was in this episode until the end credits ran and I saw her name, and had to go back to figure out who she was in the episode #MORETIG4ev

  7. Great recap, Rachel. I also have no clue why Girlfriend is with Josh. I sort of like Girlfriend and don’t get why she would bother/glad she has decided to stop bothering.

    I have never been fond of Ken Marino so I’m secretly hurt that you confuse him with Rob Huebel. I’m not even a huge Rob Huebel fan but I think he’s really good in this role and brings something to it that allows me to still like Len even though he is the worst which is something I can’t say for certain other characters of the sort (ex: Larry).

    • ugh I’m sorry it’s such a stupid problem to have, but i am seriously incapable of telling white men in comedy apart. I also think every white man in comedy looks like Bob Odenkirk. It’s honestly amazing I didn’t think Rob Huebel was Bob Odenkirk, actually. I can sort of recognize Scott Aukerman but I usually need context to get it right.

      • I confuse so many white male comedians! Like, when SNL added all those white guys last year, the only one I could recognize was Kyle Mooney! And then with White Male Daily Show correspondents I’m even worse.

      • I can’t tell any of the white bearded men apart in game of thrones…. Which is to say EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER? Basically I don’t know what the hell is going on in that show, ever.

        • word. that took me forever to figure out and every now and then I’m still like WAIT which guy is that??

  8. this recap was sooooooo funny ilu rachel you are so good at captions.

    josh is the worst and i never could figure out how to tell those two girls apart.

    this recap reminded me of a time before i’d seen all the episodes and still liked tammy. no but really i felt like she was a good person to be there when maura came out, i wouldn’t have wanted len to be present for that particular scene.

  9. I’m so glad you are doing these recaps! So much teevee is so much better through the Autostraddle lens. Thank you! You are so so funny! The captions are priceless!

  10. Not enough Maura, too much Josh for sure. I haven’t watched the whole season but I am kind of afraid that they are going to imply that the children’s horrible behaviour can all be traced back to Maura’s flawed parenting.

    I can see how people would draw a parallel between Transparent and Girls due to the white Jewish upper class narcissist protagonists and the presence of Gaby Hoffman, but Girls can’t touch the quality of writing and acting in Transparent, or Six Feet Under for that matter. I also think the producers of Transparent will be a lot more thoughtful about criticism than the white ladies behind Girls who tweet about how sad it is that Precious didn’t represent them.

  11. I haven’t watched this yet (nor any of the other shows I’ve been wanting to watch. Gone are my summer days of OITNB marathons – now I’m lucky if I have less than a page of stuff DVR’d) but I’m really enjoying these recaps!
    Maybe I’m being judgemental because I haven’t in fact watched the show, but Josh seems like kind of The Worst of this show. Like Larry, but more douche-y. Am I wrong?

  12. Why oh why oh why is Autostraddle giving this show any attention. It’s so horribly offensive.

  13. I’ve watched two episodes of Transparent, and so far I’ve cried during both of them.
    The first time was when Maura is trying to talk to her kids about herself, and suddenly she covers her face with her hands. That gave me such a sense of helplessness.

    And the second one was because of that phrase: “All my life, all my life I’ve been dressing up like a man. This is me.”. So many feelings.

    I’m liking this show very much.

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