Welcome to the final recap of the second season of The L Word Generation Q, brought to you by the same network as The L Word, a show about Dos Equis beer and all the reasons a lesbian might be driven to drink one.
As we come to the final episode of this season I just want to say that it has been an honor and a privilege to dissect this show with y’all every week and even though the past three episodes have been pretty rough (and yes, I am including the finale in that number), I will be devastated if Showtime does not renew it! (Speaking of things that will devastate me if they are not renewed: WE’RE DOING A FUNDRAISER FOR OUR FUTURE HAVE YOU HEARD?) I read all your insightful and hilarious comments and remain pleased that this franchise continues to be a point of connection and community for us as lesbians but also for us as bisexuals, queers and otherwise-identified people. I love this cast and these characters and these actors and want to see them continuing to live their messy problematic lives!
I would also like to inform you that unfortunately I have indeed written an entire post tracing the bizarre and inconsistent timeline of this season of television, it is 40 million words long.
As we say on the pod…. let’s get into it!
We open in what Finley will eventually accurately refer to as “a surprise party with really bad vibes,” where all of Finley’s fans have assembled to stage an intervention, a very logical next step following all of the preceding steps they’ve leapt right over with the gusto of Olympic long jumpers.
Sophie seems hesitant, perhaps because she knows Finley better than the rest of these yahoos and knows she’s not gonna respond well to a group confrontational approach! “It seems fast,” Sophie accurately points out. “I don’t wanna scare her and I don’t wanna force her to go if she’s not ready.”
Shane insists there’s never a good time to do this, and Tess says not to worry, Finley for sure will go to rehab. Has anybody tried like, talking to her one-on-one? First? Before um, rehab?
Thus Finley arrives home from soccer, flushed and sober and bitten, to find all her friends in earth tones humming around her living room like paternalistic flies.
Before Finley enters the room, Micah pulls her aside and says, “I’m a social worker so I have an actual educational background on this topic and I’ve made you an appointment with a therapist at the LGBTQIA+ center who specializes in addiction and is trained in CBT and MET, wanna shower up and when you’re ready we can swing by Trejos on our way?”
JUST KIDDING MICAH DOESN’T SAY THAT LOLOLOLOLOL
Here’s what actually happens: everybody sits down, tells Finley they love her and are worried about her, and invite her to attend an Alice-financed rehab at a beautiful oceanside vista, replete with pool and a Top Chef runner-up concocting delicious meals! Alice is ready to drop around 40 grand on this kid okay. Finley says she doesn’t need to drink spa water by a pool to get her shit together, which is one way in which Finley and I are different.
Shane: Okay then what do you need?
Finley: Nothing, I had a bad night. Okay?
Micah: It wasn’t one night.
Finley: I’m in my twenties, I fuck up like somebody in their twenties. I mean what the fuck were your twenties like?
Shane: No no don’t do that—
Alice: My twenties were amazing.
[Shane swats Alice]
Honestly, she’s not wrong! Like so many of us, Shane was actually drunk and/or on drugs for a significant chunk of her twenties, and, like Finley, went straight for alcohol at the slightest sign of emotional upheaval. Upset that she told Carmen she didn’t want a relationship so now Carmen is in a different relationship? Get this woman a beer and some pills!
Upset that she left Carmen at the altar? Time for cocaine and vodka and literally crashing a car into a cement wall beneath a highway overpass!
Upset that she fucked Nikki on the balustrade of Yamashiro and now Jenny’s mad at her? Drink up and pass out on a weird chair!
But Shane didn’t get a DUI or pee in Dani’s hallway, and that’s all that matters obviously. Anyhow, nobody’s gonna share any new information that might illuminate for Finley why they’re so troubled by her drinking, even though I personally shared many examples of her problematic drinking behavior in prior recaps.
Generally an intervention is an absolute last resort, when all prior avenues have been exhausted and the addict has failed at multiple sobriety attempts. Furthermore, an intervention serves as an opportunity for the addict’s friends to share specific, detailed reports of how the addiction has impacted them and the repercussions for the addict if they refuse the offer of help. So: even in a scene centered on a type of meeting devoted entirely to providing a rich, multi-layered portrait of the subject’s addiction, we don’t get it!
Finley says thanks but no thanks, and Sophie sadly watches her go.
We cut to Pippa’s Topanga Canyon retreat, where Bette and Pippa are lying in bed for a little morning tongue kissing and to discuss the impending CAC opening. “I love it when we step out together all fly,” Pippa says. Bette asks if Pippa would like to attend the going away party Alice is throwing herself tomorrow evening but they’re interrupted by a phone call from the one and only Tina!
Pippa asks if Tina’s coming to Alice’s party and how Bette feels about that, and Bette says she feels fine and then makes the grave personal error of adding, “I’d feel a lot better if you came with me.” She means it affectionately but the delivery reveals a paradigm Pippa finds alarming — is she merely a prop to enable Bette to feel like she’s over Tina?
The gulf between how Pippa and Bette handle relationships is well-lit here. Pippa plays with chaos and uncertainty in her work and prefers stability and clear outlines in her personal life. Bette finds order and power in her work — even her unrestrained emotional response to the art she loves is reigned in by plugging that artist into the familiar structure enabled by the Art Business — and revels in mess, impulsivity and uncertainty in her emotional life. She constantly charges head-first into relationships she’s plainly unready to show up for, and she’s never prioritized “getting over Tina” as a pre-condition to make commitments to others.
“I’m nervous about you two,” says Pippa, who looks distractingly hot as she pulls on an oversized flannel and shares her chapstick with Bette. Pippa’s dialed in to her instincts and her instincts tell her she’s flirting with danger regarding the inevitable draw of Bette’s moth to Tina’s flame.
Back at Bette’s very own home, her teenage daughter is obsessing over preparations for perhaps a school trip of some kind and her girlfriend is like, hey babe are you okay about this show introducing Marcus Allenwood as a season-long arc only to simply murder him
Jordi’s curious if Angie wants to attend Marcus’s funeral, but Angie refuses, saying she’s not his daughter, she’s not anything to him, and she could’ve saved him but did not.
Jordi tells her that it’s not her fault and they embrace. I love supportive teen love!
We cut to an important building, where Gigi’s distracting Dani from the impending trial by prepping Dani for an upcoming meeting with her family, full of delightful characters including her favored brother. Also, Dani shouldn’t tell Gigi’s family that they’ve slept together.
A heckler tells Dani that her Dad is guilty, typical city hall stuff. The most important thing about this scene is how hot they look together in their outfits. Dani says she’s fine and will do great in court today because she has been PREPPED within an inch of her life. I wonder what the trial is about
Lesbian Sexy Moment #14: Morning Os
The Players: Shane and Tess
It’s the cool clear light of day and two hot happy naked lesbians are in bed fucking and eating each other out! Tess lifting her leg up to put her ankle on Shane’s shoulder so Shane can fuck her deeper is like real good stuff right there and everybody’s having a very good time and then for some godforsaken reason Tess interrupts this bang session to say that they should fire Finley because otherwise they’re enabling her.
Shane thinks Tess should be the one to do the firing because she’s nicer. They giggle and fuck about it before Tess has gotta take a call from her Mom. Tess reminds Shane they’ve gotta hire a new GM because (surprise!) Tess is planning to move to Vegas to be with her Mom.
Shane seems open to Tess’s proposal of a long-distance relationship but then Tess plows further forward, with a leap towards commitment that feels unearned — Shane, who’s struggled all her life with finding a place that feels like home but has made one for herself in L.A., could move to Las Vegas with Tess.
Back to The Aloce Show, where our favorite Bisexual Talk Show host has dressed up like Julia Child for an undoubtedly exciting segment with Paul Hollywood. Alice tells Sophie she’s welcome to stay at her luxury apartment if necessary, but Sophie declines. “I’m not doing that to her, she doesn’t deserve it,” Sophie says, perhaps mired in guilt from the unsuccessful intervention.
Alice volunteers to speak to Sophie further on this topic if necessary but is then interrupted by the arrival of Tom, who announces, full throated: SAY HELLO TO A CIS MAN NAMED TOM! I laughed!
Tom: “I can’t wait to explain to my momma what cis means. You see that elbow right there? That elbow is the elbow of a man who is officially in a power couple.”
Sophie asks if they’re gonna celebrate the article and Tom announces that yes indeed, they are doing the swan boats! I’m thrilled to hear this news because I know someone who had full lesbian sex in a swan boat and now I’ve had an opportunity to share this news with all of you here!
Alice doesn’t wanna go but Tom’s stoked to get Alice away from her Google Alerts and on that note, Alice passes her phone over, only for Tom to be immediately alerted of a very bad review in The New York Times that suggests Alice should’ve “stayed in her lane.” Alice immediately lashes out.
Squabble #36: Read It and Wept
In the Ring: Tom vs. Alice
Alice is blaming Tom for the bad review that inspired her to deviate from her lane, and Tom is responding exactly as I would respond — by not realizing that Alice is seriously actually getting mad at him about this.
Alice: It says I should stay in my lane, that’s what it says. You know who pushed me out of my lane, Tom?
Tom: That would be me!
Alice: I didn’t want to veer out of my lane, Tom, no, because I have a very successful talk show that is very firmly in my lane.
Tom: Absolutely, but in the grand scheme of things—
Alice: I’m gonna go.
Tom: But what about the swan boats?
Alice: Fuck the swan boats! Fuck the swans, fuck their friends!
Who Wins? Not the swans!