The Comment Awards Are Asking: Won’t You Be Our Valentine?

A small, brown and white dog peeking over their laptop screen, with a caption that says "Hey did you see that comment?!"

Hello, starlings! In honor of Valentine’s Day, did you know I love you?

Here is a classroom Valentine, just for you, from Milo and me!

My terrier pup Milo, clutching a toy. Text says "I chews you! Won't you be my Valentine?"

This week, Riese brought us the whole entire queer history of the Oscars, from Janet Gaynor and Marlene Dietrich all the way to Kristen Stewart and Ariana DeBose!

Need to read a romance novel this month? There’s a quiz for that!

We’ve also got a roundup of sexy short stories! Happy Valentines Day to us!

This A+ Gallery of your passion projects was so? Incredible?!!!!! You are all amazing!

This roundtable was perfect: What is love? (If you grew up in the nineties, you just hummed “baby don’t hurt me” under you breath, I know you did.)

Gretchen wrote about the uncomfortable process of trying to write a TERF.

This was beautiful: Caterpillar Soup: A Trans Girl Finds Her Style.

30 days! 21 lesbian bars! One podcast! My hometown queer bar closed last week, so this sent me into a fit of nostalgia.

And then there were your comments!

On The Real True History of LGBTQ+ Nominees For Best Actress Oscars:

The Method/Madness Award to msanon:

there’s a spreadsheet, i know there’s a spreadsheet…

On Quiz: Which Queer Romance Novel Should You Read This February?

The We Are All Magic Award to Amina:

Here I was literally pining away for a good wlw historical mystery thriller with costuming hijinks, AND YOU DELIVER!!! Seriously, I love regency rom com adventure tropes and now you give me one that has LESBIANS AND ALL MY FAVORITE TROPES. You are magic, and I love this website. Who needs to pay for psychics when autostraddle reads my mind like this?

On Relationship “Green Flags” To Look For When Dating:

The Teach Me! Award to Maddie:

I’m a big fan of the structure of this article. 1. Something can be a list is visually formatted as a list (this one seems obvious, but I just came here from an article where the list items were non-bolded sentences *within* paragraphs. 2. Not only is the green flag clearly name but also *why* it matters- proxy for what? As such, you can understand the purpose and reword the specific green flag to fit your own life. It makes this list more valuable than “these are just the personal preferences of this one author.

On Caterpillar Soup: A Trans Girl Finds Her Style:

The Bookworms and Caterpillars Award to Chloe:

Emme!! Happy pub day! I spent the whole day packing up your book for work so I was delighted to see your name while scrolling through Autostraddle after work. This is lovely.

On You Need Help: What Is Love?

The We’re All Hoganites Now Award to Kitten Heel Femme:

How does everything Heather writes about love feel like a revelation?

And the Love Is Award to Cleo:

I think love is a commitment as well as an emotion. And the commitment (can) remain steady as the emotion ebbs and flows and swirls. As Abeni says, it’s a decision you make. But it’s not exactly a rational decision. I think that’s the mystery of it – what mysterious combination of chemistry and affinity and history and luck makes someone your person? And what makes the difference between a commitment for a little while and 20 years? I don’t know. This is what I know about love. Love is my mother asking me why I volunteered at my local LGBTQ+ center and really listening to the answer (after reacting badly to me coming out 20 years earlier). And love is me inviting her to come with me to watch her first pride parade, in her 70s. And love is us going early so we could find a spot in the shade. Love is my 80 something grandmother suggesting that she and I go out to a different restaurant once a month after I moved back to Chicago in my 20s. I’d moved back partly to be closer to her but didn’t know how to connect once I got there – sharing a meal once a month helped us get close again. Love is me going to the dentist and the doctor every year and getting all of my screenings, even though I hate them, even though they can trigger my ptsd, because my spouse asked me to take care of my health so we can grow old together. Love is me crying through our first couples counseling session, realizing that our marriage was in bigger trouble than I realized and that I needed to commit to managing my ptsd better – for my sake and for my spouse’s sake. (And it did save our marriage, although I wouldn’t have blamed him if he’d left then – it was grim for awhile there).

And on “Marry Me” Is a J-Lo Rom-Com About a Lesbian Who Does All The Work, Gets None of the Credit:

The Carry On Maestro Award to Maria:

After engaging in sexual intercourse off-screen because this is a family film, J-Lo walks around this sunlit apartment eating a green apple wearing nothing but a men’s dress shirt. This is unrelated to the plot of this recap I just wanted to tell you.

See a comment that needs to be here? Let me know! Tag me [at] queergirl.

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Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. They're a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of their Gay Agenda. They're living through a pandemic, they're on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! They also wanna make you laugh.

Darcy has written 376 articles for us.


  1. i had almost as much fun constructing Riese’s speadsheet in my head as i might have getting to see it. ok, that’s probably not true, but i do mean it because apparently things can be contradictory and true at the same time.

    also, maybe there should be a mini spreadsheet convention at a camp? all the as spreadsheet nerds in one place AT THE SAME time woul dbe…

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