Letter From Your Editors

Hello, Oatmeal Apple Pie Cookies!

Well, we made it to the end of another month, which is a thing people used to say to simply indicate the passing of time, but in these days of Donald Trump and digital media dying off like the dinosaurs, it’s become an expression of bewildered triumph. Grinder pulled the plug on Into this month, a little more than a year after it launched; BuzzFeed rolled out mass layoffs, including everyone on their national news desk and their entire LGBTQ team, with the exception of Shannon Keating; Verizon Media Group axed seven percent of its staff, including reporters from HuffPo, AOL, and Yahoo!; and Gannett Co., the U.S.’ largest newspaper owner, cut jobs in some of its biggest markets. All told, The Washington Post estimates about 1,400 writers, journalists, social media strategists, and the woman behind the viral “what color is this dress?” lost their jobs in January.

And here we are, because of you — absolutely and only because of you! — and we know it. We want to welcome everyone who joined A+ this month in the wake of the disastrous media news. We want to thank those of you who have been with us all along. We want to thank everyone who was able to bump up their A+ memberships to a higher level. We want to tackle-hug everyone who commented on our A+ post about last year’s numbers to say that, in addition to continuing to support us via your membership, you were also planning to donate money to us. Our gratitude cannot be contained by this paragraph or maybe even expressed with words. It’s a scary time out here, and your support is the reason we’re still alive.

It’s been a busy month for us! We’ve been working hard on our first theme issue of 2019. It’s The Birthday Issue — in honor of Autostraddle’s TENTH birthday this year — and it launches tomorrow! We can’t to share the essays, comics, pop culture analysis, and roundtables that we’ve curated for you. We’ve guffawed and sobbed reading through the submissions. Also: Registration for A-Camp XI opens today! Our senior camp staff have been planning and plotting for it every second for the last few weeks. In addition to those enormous projects, we’ve also been working hard to keep our daily content fresh for you in one of the slowest months of the year. (We think we’ve succeeded!)

This month on A+, we shared our favorite mistakes in a Monday Roundtable, published out our annual report on all our numbers, from traffic to finances; and answered the questions you tenderly asked us.

We remain
Yours most ardently,

Heather

Co-signed by Riese / Laneia / Rachel / Carmen

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Top 10 Most Popular Posts From December 2018

These posts were hella popular last month.

1.Chloë Grace Moretz Kisses Kate Harrison, Demi Moore Maybe Has a Girlfriend? Is Everybody Gay Now, by Stef Schwartz
2. 50 of the Best LGBT Books of 2018, by Casey
3. Make Susie Gay, You Cowards: On The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’s Lesbian Problem, by Riese
4. Not In Our Name: A Statement on Trans Inclusion From Lesbian Editors and Publishers, by Riese
5. 50 of the Best Feminist Books of 2018, by Rachel
6. The 15 Best Lesbian and Bisexual Movies of 2018, by Heather
7. December 2018 Queer Horoscopes: Time to Hold All This and Still Face the Future, by Corina
8. The 25 Best TV Shows Of 2018 With LGBT Women Characters, by Riese
9. EXCUSE ME, Did Kristen Stewart Get A New Girlfriend While We Weren’t Looking?, by Stef
10. 10 Hallmark Christmas Movies That Are Actually Just Gay Fan Fiction, by Heather

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Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Rachel: I got a presser for some vague streaming thing I don’t really understand but the image they ran with it is truly taking me out for some reason

I think it’s bc I keep accidentally making eye contact with the flannel-clad lesbian who looks like she’s about to sensually massage me with a softball
Heather: oh wow you know what this looks like? those stock photos of paul ryan working out, but make it gay.
Rachel: oh my god

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Heather: stacy and i are watching the lena waithe top chef and she’s had several glasses of wine so she keeps pausing to be like “i voted for padma in EVERY afterellen hot 100. heather. EVERY afterellen hot 100.”
she hasn’t even said the word “afterellen” since like 2013
Natalie: lol
Carmen: LOL!
Natalie: i always felt obliged to vote entirely for POC to counterbalance the overwhelming whiteness of that list.
Padma was definitely among my picks
Heather: *absolutely*
Carmen: This will surprise no one… I voted for Sara Ramirez
I also always voted for Kerry Washington.
I’m watching B99 and we spend a lot of time talking about how smart and talented Stephanie Beatriz is, but I swear she’s only getting hotter. That’s my takeaway for the night.
Natalie: #facts
Heather: melissa fumero too, though i admit part of that might be how much i (over?)identify with amy
also though! melissa fumero has my favorite thing of looking kinda femme-y but then walking really dyke-y
i’m tipsy too, i better get outta here
ANNALISE AND EVE 4EVER :v:
okay just one more thing bc i realized i only said it to carmen: eve is the only one who’s ever truly seen annalise
and loved her with full knowledge of who she is
and neither of them will ever be over that!
Carmen: (I love tipsy heather. she’s welcome around these parts anytime.)

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[after receiving a Cease & Desist from the law firm representing Toys-R-Us over the headline we used for an article about sex toys]

Laneia: “Our client’s largest customer base – children, babies, and their families and friends – makes the link between sex toys and a famous children’s brand all the more inappropriate.”
!!!!
how do they think babies are made?
Riese: OH MY G-D
lololololololololololololololo
i guess we change the title
wow
we’ve peaked
Laneia: can we please PLEASE change it to Toys Are We
Riese: yes
man they worked quick!
Laneia: real talk i am v glad they didn’t come out of the gate demanding thousands of dollars
Carmen: I just got here! TOYS R WE wow
Heather: i want to frame that paragraph
maybe i will
Laneia: is it… i guess it’s not ok to like, put that on twitter
it feels like i’ve won a charm for a bracelet i didn’t even know i had!
what if it was Toys R Cool
that’s not trademarked
Toys R Us(eful)
Toys R Trademarked
Carmen: Lolllllll

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Carmen: I’m also going to watch Derry Girls right now because I don’t take my own advice re: insomnia and you described it as like those weirdly cerebral 90s Nickelodeon shows and Babysitters Club and that’s all I want in this cold, cold world
Laneia: carmen you are going to love it
i needed the subtitles but maybe you’re more worldly than me
Heather: if you don’t wear headphones you for sure need subtitles
you gotta be looking at their mouths and using context clues and hearing their words real close to your ears
Laneia: i’m going to watch it upstairs now, i’ve decided
Carmen: This is such important information thank u
Laneia: this conversation was a lovely mouthwash and i thank you both for it
Rachel: I still have not watched derry girls but it is next on my list after I finish sex education! in the meantime available if anyone wants to discuss gillian anderson’s robes or gillian anderson’s anything else
it’s been so long since I watched a lighthearted dramedy not set in the UK i’ve forgotten the american way to pronounce condom

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Rachel: hello thanks to the miracle of cold medicine I thought of a pitch in the shower
can I do What the Gillian Anderson Character You’re Most Attracted To Says About You
for wed
Laneia: jesus please
Rachel: gr8
i’m going to finish drying off now! love u
Laneia: this is what it feels like to be visited by an angel i think
Heather: omg rachel
Carmen: what clear and resolute perfection

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A-Camp!! A-Camp!! A-Camp!!

Lauren Karen Klein: Really great pic of us all planning a-camp

Kristin: HAHAHA KAREN
Marni:

Marni: sunrise/sunset
Sarah: Holy shit
Marni: And since nobody asked:

Sarah: Omg ur babies would be :fire:
Marni: now i have toto in my head
Lauren: Wowie

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Meet A New Contributor!

Get to know some of our newest faces.

Meg Jones Wall, Contributor and Tarotscopes Extrodinaire!

Twitter: @megjoneswall
Instagram: @​3am.tarot & @mcjw.photography

What would be your superpower and why?

A few years ago I probably have said reading minds or controlling fire, but right now, I wish I could heal people – both physically and emotionally. I deal with chronic illness and a lot of resulting pain, and so many people in my life suffer with similar things. I hope this power would also translate to healing the violence, racism, homophobia, misogyny, and utter selfishness of so many in this country. It is exhausting to be a person right now and I wish I could fix it for all of us.

If you could invite four famous people (dead or alive) to dinner, who would you choose and why?

I would choose people that I have things in common with and would like to learn from: Annie Leibovitz, Sara Ramirez, Chani Nicholas, and Susan Feniger. All creative badasses with stories to tell. All women whose work I deeply admire.

Who was your first woman celebrity crush?

I’m not sure if she was literally the first, but Eliza Dushku certainly made a major impression.

What’s something you’ve been really proud of lately?

Next month is my two-year anniversary of starting therapy, and even though I still hate it sometimes, I’m really proud of myself for sticking with it. It’s literally saved my life and I’m deeply grateful for the additional support.

I’m also really proud to be writing for Autostraddle, which has been such an important part of my life and my journey. This community inspires me every single day and I am deeply honored to be contributing to the work here.

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What We’ve Been Reading

Natalie: The Truths We Hold: An American Journey by Kamala Harris

Vanessa: Ink in Water: An Illustrated Memoir (Or, How I Kicked Anorexia’s Ass and Embraced Body Positivity) by Lacy J. Davis, and When We Were Outlaws: by Jeanne Córdova

Molly: The Trespasser by Tana French

Carrie: Her Body and Other Parties: Stories by Carmen Maria Machado

Heather: Rosewater by Tade Thompson

Laneia: The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer and We Were Witches by Ariel Gore

Valerie Anne: A Whole New World: A Twisted Tale by Liz Braswell

Riese: Nine Perfect Strangers, by Liane Moriarity

Rachel: Homesick for Another World, by Ottessa Moshfegh

Al(aina): TITLE by James Baldwin

Kayla: Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn

Reneice: Pachinko by Min Jin Lee, and The Cooking Gene by Michael W. Twitty

Alexis: REFUSE by Julian Randall

Sarah: Lost Soul, Be at Peace by Maggie Thrash More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory

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SENATOR BETTE PORTER

Natalie: I don’t know why you need Bette Porter when Kamala Harris exists.

Carmen: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG THEY ARE TOGETHER IN THE SAME PHOTO!! Listen ok I have never…. ughhh… been sexually attracted to a presidential candidate before. I have found it so distracting. Y’alll don’t judge me. This is a safe space.

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MEET AN EDITOR’S PET!

Get to know some of our staff’s pets. Today we’ll get to know more about Heather’s cat, Dobby Bobbi Peterson-Hogan! Oh hey, did you read Heather’s recent essay about Dobby, “How My Cat’s Anxiety Helped Me Be Gentler With Myself About My Own”? You really should.

View this post on Instagram

🙃

A post shared by Heather Hogan (@heatherannehogan) on Dec 12, 2018 at 3:49pm PST

What’s your favorite food (includes human food)?

Grilled chicken, sautéed chicken, fried chicken, chicken breasts, chicken wings, chicken thighs, baked chicken, roasted chicken, chicken sausage, ground chicken, whole chicken, barbecue chicken, chicken from inside pie, chicken appetizers, chicken entrees, chicken desserts, chicken sandwiches, chicken stew, and chicken stir-fry.

But my favorite chicken is the chicken tenders from the deli across the street because when me and Socks and Beth and Frodo used to live under the buckets in our Mamas’ backyard, our other Mama, our cat Mama, would sometimes bring them to us as a special treat! When my Mama brings them home now, no matter where I am in the house, or even if I am asleep, the smell gets into my nose and my heart goes so fast! I yell! I can’t help myself! I love those tenders!

What’s your most perfect sleeping scenario?

I get kind of scared sometimes. Well, a lot of times. I don’t like too many noises. I sleep the very best when my Mama is in the same room so when I hear something I can look over at her speedy-quick and she can say it’s okay and not a wolf or a tornado and I can go right back to sleep because she’s listening out to keep me safe from the Street Sweeper Monsters.

If you could have a home on the beach, near mountains, or in a lush forest, which would you pick and why?

Oh no. No. No no no. Beaches got sharks and alligators, and mountains got lions and bears, and forests got vampires and snakes! I don’t really want to go to those places! I don’t — do I have to? Are we moving? Oh no. When? Is it today? Are we moving today? Is my catnip squirrel coming? Oh no, what if we forget my squirrel? What if we forget my favorite chair? What if we get in a wreck on the way or what if we get lost? What if the Street Sweeper Monsters follow us? Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Where’s squirrel? Where’s my blanket? My blanket? Blanket! Blanket, where are you? Oh no. Oh no.

Oh. Sorry, my Mama says this is hypothetical and we just signed a new lease and we are not moving. Okay. Okay. Not moving. Okay.

Would you say you’ve seen a ghost?

Beth said she saw a ghost in the movie Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, but I didn’t see that movie because there were other people in my house besides my Mamas when it was on the television and I got under a blanket in the closet and stayed put until they left us alone!

Which fictional cat do you look up to and why?

T’Challa! WAKANDA FOREVER!!!!!!

Do you know… is Vibranium real? I bet if I had a Vibranium suit then a Street Sweeper Monster would bounce right off of me! Hahaha! Imagine that!

I’d have to let Socks try it out first maybe.

What do you wish you could say to your mom?

I think I don’t have to say it with human words. My Mama, she has a magic that sees right into my heart.

View this post on Instagram

Show off.

A post shared by Heather Hogan (@heatherannehogan) on Oct 22, 2018 at 5:15pm PDT

~ WAKANDA FOREVER ~

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SLACKERS

This month I asked our team to open up Netflix and choose one Slack emoji — standard or custom! — to describe the movies or TV shows the Netflix algorithm was recommending to them based on their viewing habits. Lo, these are our results!

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Snowfall Retro-Reading

This month a great deal of you (not me) will be experiencing the phenomenon we all know to be “snow.” Perhaps quite a bit of snow. Hard to say!

Snow-Covered Canadian Prairie Queers: A Survival Guide, by Malaika (2012) – Malaika was a passionate fan of the Alberta prairie and this post gives you all of that in the form of a list for hot winter activities, like Hot Tub Parties and cuddling.

Winter Gym Class: Get In, We’re Going Snowshoeing, by Katrina (2018) – Everybody knows that lesbians love the outdoors, I assume that sort of passion does not cease regardless of the weather situation.

Liquor In The Snow Day: Perfect Penguin Martinis, by Austen (2015) – A cocktail for your cold winter evening.

Going to an Outdoor Semi-Formal Event in the F*cking Snow, by Mey (2014) – This is a very funny and spirited read even if you do not intend to attend an outdoor semi-formal event in the f*cking snow, I promise.

Surviving Winter: The Kit, by Laura (2011) – Laura makes her own chapstick so it’s a pretty safe bet that her recommendations for winter endurance

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Five Posts Rachel Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month

How Coretta Scott King Leveraged MLK’s Legacy to Fight for Gay Rights, by Carmen

I can’t say enough good things about this piece! The writing itself is incredible; I could feel my eyes widening at the intro paragraph. I learned so much about Coretta’s work and you can too!

Grace Hanson Is a Confirmed Bisexual in Grace and Frankie’s Gayest Season Yet, by Heather

Am I sharing this in part because of my deep personal investment in as many of the characters as possible in Grace and Frankie being bisexual? (Looking at you, Briana, wouldn’t say no to you, Bud, either.) In part, yes. But also this is excellent TV writing and gets to the heart of what works so well about this show! Don’t miss it!

You Need Help: How Do I Spice Up My Relationship?, by Christina Tesoro

This is such a generous and well-written piece that really gets at the relationship dynamics that underlie this situation and I think is great reading for anyone going through related issues – “lesbian bed death,” feeling like things have become stale or wondering if things can still be passionate in a longterm relationship.

In 2018, Lesbian and Bisexual TV Characters Did Even Better, by Riese

I really and truly do not think you understand how GOOD and THOROUGH this post is. You will gain IQ points reading it! Queer TV has never been a more expansive, complex and varied field to keep track of, and Riese is as always masterful at it. The INFOGRAPHICS! You aren’t ready.

“Just Treat Me Like Any Other Mother”: What Queer-Affirming Doulas Can Provide New LGBT Parents, by Christina Tesoro

Maybe it’s something in the water but I feel like I’ve been hearing queer people from all facets of my life talk more lately about pregnancy and family building of all kinds, and hearing from all of them how frustrating it is that there isn’t more information, more queer-specific resources, more understanding of what their options are and how things really work. Here is some information about those resources! It’s fascinating! Get into it!

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Social Media Spotlight

Top Tweet of the Month

EXCLUSIVE: Meet the new lesbian character on #GoodTrouble, a spinoff of #TheFosters coming to Freeform next week: https://t.co/dXgLV06Ahi pic.twitter.com/Dsr03ktXT7

— Autostraddle (@autostraddle) January 2, 2019

Top Instagram of the Month

View this post on Instagram

“I still hear people say that I should not be talking about the rights of lesbian and gay people and I should stick to the issue of racial justice… but I hasten to remind that Martin Luther King, Jr. said, ‘Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.’ I appeal to everyone who believes in Martin Luther King, Jr.’s dream to make room at the table of brotherhood and sisterhood for lesbian and gay people.” – Coretta Scott King . Click on the bio link to read @carmencitaloves’ brilliant, heartfelt words about how Coretta Scott King leveraged MLK’s legacy to fight for gay rights.

A post shared by Autostraddle (@autostraddle) on Jan 21, 2019 at 3:20pm PST

Top Facebook of the Month

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WELCOME TO THE FUTURE

Molly: did you know you’re all the feature image?

https://twitter.com/__keating/status/1088849484275175424

Kaelyn: omg
Ya’ll look like you’re having a dark time contemplating the futility of your existence
how rude
Rachel: I cannot even begin to explain how uncomfortable it makes me to have my face tweeted by buzzfeed! but here we are
Kaelyn: the future you never knew you didn’t want
Rachel: other people have to deal with cruel and arbitrary staggered layoffs and I have to deal with seeing my face on twitter
life is tough all over etc
Kaelyn: please don’t fire us all in a slack snippet
your hair looks really good, though, Rachel, genuinely
Rachel: thank you
maybe buzzfeed can get me a therapy dog about it
Kaelyn: but would you pivot to video
Rachel: in my heart I have already done so
Vanessa: i agree that Rachel’s hair looks amazing
and also that the world is so dumb and cruel bc like
i for one
would die to have an instagram photo of me
tweeted from buzzfeed
Molly: hahahahahaha
Stef: shannon keating interviewed me for that lesbian gossip article about us, she’s nice
Vanessa: yes bitches everyone look at my hair!!!! and my boobs!!!!!
but as soon as i saw this i knew Rachel would hate it
life’s not fair ya know
Mika: I feel inspired to confess that one time Rachel’s hair smelled so good I told her I would cut a piece of it off
She didn’t let me for some reason
Kaelyn: that’s not creepy at all, Mika
Rachel: both those things are true
also I would rather have done that than let buzzfeed tweet this photo!
Kaelyn: i wouldn’t say you “let” them…
Rachel: even though it is an objectively good photo that riese looks hot in and I know shannon is trying to center autostraddle
Mika: It is absolutely creepy which is a statement into how good it smelled
Molly: thank you for being real Mika
Kaelyn: i mean it does make me want to smell Rachel’s hair
Rachel: thank you for this testimonial Mika you are the wind beneath my wings
Mika: Love wins
Rachel: love wins
Stef: i also really appreciate how nonplussed laneia looks about the future of queer media
Kaelyn: really everyone looks very nonchalant about the dark times
Rachel: it’s kind of like one of those facial expressions charts they have children use in therapy
“which of these disgruntled women represents how you feel about the future of queer media”
Stef: heather is serene
Molly: hogan at the top like an angel
Kaelyn: sarah’s serving face
Stef: kinda always
Molly: serving a face by having it
Stef: Yvonne who we lost when all queer media was destroyed in the great fire of 2019
Kaelyn: riese is smiling-ish but it’s like a “try me, bitch” mood
Yvonne looks fine about it. wistful, even
Stef: she knew her fate
Kaelyn: she’d accepted it
she also has pivoted to video in her heart
Molly: she’s headed to the sea
Stef: what if every time someone stopped working here they got a viking funeral
i had one for my axolotl when he died
Molly: who is good at shooting arrows
where my sagittarius peeps, aren’t you archers
Stef: that’s why amanda teaches that archery shit at camp
for the end times
the theme of a-camp this year is the hunger games, only one person gets to leave, GO
Rachel: can we circle back to the axolotl
Stef: sure
his name was sparky, he was a real delight
Rachel: RIP
Stef: he ate goldfish, he swam by flailing his little arms around and when he yawned you could see all the way into his insides
great pets, a+

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XOXO

Team Autostraddle