Also.Also.Also: “The Ache Is Just as Important as the Orgasm,” Kristen Arnett on Writing Great Lesbian Sex

Feature image via Kristen Arnett on Instagram

Hello! HI! Today my brain was a little sad, and then I read this deep dive into dyke TikTok drama and JoJo Siwa, which — to be honest — I didn’t expect to love and laugh as much as I did, and now my brain is at least 50% more happy than it was before. You should read it!!


Queer as in F*ck You

“When I write sex scenes, the ache is just as important as the orgasm. Tension comes from building momentum — not only in sex scenes, but any scene requires building and aching and needing.”

I only want to read Kristen Arnett writing about sex from now on. Her description of what makes good sex writing… well, work.. and Our Wives Under the Sea is some of the most gorgeous writing I read today. It’s not usually the kind of piece that would make our headline feature, but it’s a slow news day coming off of Labor Day and couldn’t we all use some good writing about sex in our lives? Is there a better way to kick off fall and wrap yourself into late summer? Being hot while being nerdy is supreme September energy. The Best Sex Kristen Arnett Has Ever Read.

The Summer Black Queer Music Took Over

As Sue Bird’s Career Nears Its End, Her True Impact Comes Into Focus. “The WNBA star — talented, audacious, and gay — has given fans all of herself in recent years.”

And while we are talking WNBA, yesterday was Brittney Griner’s 200th day being wrongfully detained in Russia. Read this opinion piece from Dave Zirin for The Nation, “We should be stepping up our efforts to bring the WNBA superstar home. Instead we’re getting ‘out of sight, out of mind’ — and it’s a disgrace.”


Saw This, Thought of You

Margaret Court’s Resentment Is Proof That Envy and Racism Were Serena Williams’ Only True Rivals. “A privileged white woman is upset that people don’t like her as much as the Black woman that changed tennis — and sports — forever. Go figure.” (Speaking of which, Serena Williams’ Last Match Was The Most-Viewed Tennis Broadcast In ESPN History)

My Parents Were Sex-Positive & Polyamorous Before It Was Cool

Against the Big-Screen Beauty Contest. “The internet demands that women project desirability—at a level formerly reserved for movie stars.”

I wish that I wasn’t like this, but… I am. Every Funny Girl Song Performed on Glee, Ranked.


Political Snacks

Former Pentagon Leaders Warn of a Dangerous Era. “The challenge to the 2020 election result has helped create ‘an extremely adverse environment,’ former defense secretaries and generals said in an open letter.”

Related: The Long Unraveling of the Republican Party

Dorothy Roberts Tried to Warn Us. “The legal scholar and sociologist wrote about the criminalization of pregnancy 25 years ago. Why didn’t more listen?” Dorothy Roberts is one of the minds that I most trust, this profile of her brilliance is a must read.


And One More Thing…

This broke me up.


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Carmen Phillips

Carmen is Autostraddle's Editor-in-Chief and a Black Puerto Rican femme/inist writer. She claims many past homes, but left the largest parts of her heart in Detroit, Brooklyn, and Buffalo, NY. There were several years in her early 20s when she earnestly slept with a copy of James Baldwin’s “Fire Next Time” under her pillow. You can find her on twitter, @carmencitaloves.

Carmen has written 502 articles for us.

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