Now I start over, and rebuild, and confront fear and learn to drive alone and figure out how to secure Eli in the loft so I can still snuggle with him at night. Now I have to hang the art I’ve collected from friends over the years, find a place for my autographed Eileen Myles books, and learn to do yoga. Now I need to meet all the versions of myself hiding in this city and make friends with every single one of them.
“In the two weeks I’ve been on the road I’ve learned to be silent and reverent in the face of nature, to see myself in mountains and peel away the layers that tug me toward them, to feel at home in endless waves of grain, to become someone new in every new place.”
I went to Tennessee and found freedom and a sense of adventure. And the best keychain ever.
I went to New Jersey and back, and I had a million billion emotions.
These are the songs that encompass all the feelings in my tiny heart about getting free, running away, doing the stupid and impossible things that don’t make sense, and figuring it out from there.
This week I will pack up my (brand new!) car, and I will probably cry, a lot, and I will put some stuff in the mail, and I will take a million photos, and I will drive across the country.
We’ve finally picked out our road trip snack shopping list, and it’s a thing of beauty.