Anatomy Of A Mango: Seed

Because of the positive affirmation I received during sex, I began to believe it was all I was good for. When people wanted me, I assumed it was my job to provide joy for other people. I gave myself to a lot of people in that way. I had to remember that I had a right to pleasure as well.

14 Knuckles: Femme Top Revolution

There’s a difference between domination as a way to take control or claim power over another person — the way certain lovers have done with me — versus domination as a way to provide comfort and care, and to grow one’s power without harming anyone else.

Year of Our (Audre) Lorde: August’s New Spelling of My Name

In my own myth, New York has been the cornerstone of what shaped me, finally allowing myself to be in my queerness. While the New York I inhabited and the one of Audre Lorde’s life looked radically different, Lorde’s relationships and the women she loves and lusts for each leave her fuller than before.

Anatomy of a Mango: Pit

Even one-night-stands have a spirit to them, but I wasn’t willing to confront that until I stopped drinking. When I did, I was finally able to place my mind right within my body, to touch and be touched without fear. Having sober sex was a way for me to unravel the contempt I felt around my body and my sexuality.

Throwback to Shakedown: LA’s Black Lesbian Strip Club

In Los Angeles in the early 2000’s (I’m talking 2002, 2003 when J Lo released her Glo perfume) and long before social media could tell you where to go out, Shakedown was a famously hot party for the Black lesbian community. Even after LAPD shut down Shakedown in 2004, we came out and supported Leilah Weinraub to finish a documentary on the scene and carve out a piece of history.

Anatomy of a Mango: Flesh

It seems contradictory to say I learned how to view my body as my own by sharing it with strangers and friends, but it is a truth that I revel in. What I love and learn about these encounters are the parameters of my body, its strengths, and boundaries, what pleases it.

Anatomy Of A Mango: Skin

There is a different level of intimacy and affirmation that I have found when having sex with other fat people. Thin people approach the fat body like a series of insecurities. They see the swell of a stomach or rolls of fat on the back and assume that you hate those parts of your body. When another fat person touches me, it is to be made whole.