“Why would I be gentle with myself when I was very clearly doing this thing — like so many other things in my life — wrong? No, I didn’t need gentleness. I needed more self-discipline, more conviction, more toughness. I needed to get my fucking shit together.”
Sleep is the magic pill. Gotta get in on that.
The first time someone described Casey as having “stalkerish” tendencies, I defended her. For the most part though, I didn’t talk about it.
Let’s make radically caring space for each other, OK? Here are some tips and tricks for grounding ourselves and taking care of our communities in times of collective trauma like RIGHT DAMN NOW.
I found a different self slowly, learned to exist as if with many different goggles on at once. Always speaking from my mother’s kitchen in the Silicon Valley and, at the same time, my grandmother’s crowded living room in Punjab. In these years, I would feel the sharpness of many kinds of difference, marginalization. But when I looked down at myself for signs of why I felt so other, all I would find was the color of my hands.
It’s easy to get caught up in how difficult grad school is, and to use that difficulty as an excuse to slack off on taking care of yourself, but the skills you build now will follow you into your career. It’s more important than ever to really make time and space for YOU, and I don’t just mean bubble baths.
What I’m getting at here is that staying grounded (even though it sounds like an oxymoron) gives you the ability to move.
“I knew that somewhere along the way, I stopped being sober for her and had started doing it for me — and that realization hit me harder than my own fist.”
Depression is not forever because it always ends, and depression is forever because it always comes back. It won’t work if I only want to stay on the days when my brain breaks through the muck. Turn Out The Lights is a meditation on wanting to stay on the very worst days.
I’ve been dealing with SAD all my adult life, and especially since I moved to the northeast where daylight lasts about as long as my lunch break from November to March. I’ve learned a lot about coping, and about making things easier on myself by noticing and addressing my symptoms before I’m in the midst of a full-blown depressive spiral. SAD isn’t fixable for me, but here’s how I’ve learned to fight back against it.
A lot of the requests from readers for advice and for personal writing are about mental health, so today we thought we’d share with you about our brain situations, what helps, what doesn’t, and what we’re still working on.
Nothing is straightforward about Senua’s journey.
You’re tired of feeling like your friend’s therapist; how do you opt out of that without just avoiding them forever?
Sometimes getting out of bed and onto the couch is the biggest thing you will achieve in day, and that is okay.
“Chester Bennington’s anger was so present and so empathic. It told me it was okay that I had it too— that I wasn’t alone, that my feelings were normal. It replaced my fear, and it helped me survive.”
If I and other people with certain disabilities are going to survive, we need care — and not from ourselves. Because when it gets really bad for me, self-care is literally impossible. In those moments, I need community care.
Realizing you’re bisexual after you’re married to a dude, coming to terms with this awful therapist, and never ever ever U-Hauling again. It’s time for some good old fashioned advice!
So, about that time I was having a mental break.
“I thought changing something on the outside would change the wrecked ruin of me on the inside. I thought somehow the inside would get a memo from my outside and get into shape. It didn’t, but my hair is the first way I was able to gain autonomy over my body.”
“I feel affinity for parts of Asian communities, neuerodivergent communities, queer communities and kink communities. I don’t really feel completely invested in one place. It’s always been like that.”