This Never Happened

 It’s time for another edition of SE(N)O, an essay series on A+ for personal stories we wish we could tell on the accessible-to-our-employers-and-everyone-we’ve-ever-known mainsite, but can’t for personal and professional reasons.

This is filler text to keep the contents of this A+ essay, which is a pretty cool one but also very personal, below the members-only cut on the page. This entire essay is available to A+ silver members, but can't be readable or searchable by anyone else, like employers or people I went to college with or family members or my neighbors or my kindergarten teacher or my ex-landlord or my current landlord or most people, really. Once my ex-landlord tried to "connect" with me on LinkedIn, which was extra weird because we had actually had kind of an acrimonious relationship — lookin' at you, Alan! Anyways, you will enjoy reading this essay if you like reading about family and memory and growing up and figuring things out, but you will unfortunately not be ab...

You Have Reached A+ Content!

98% of the content on this website is available to everybody for free, but this is one of the 1-2 posts we publish each month just for Silver and Gold A+ members. We also publish an additional 2-3 posts a month available to all A+ members (Bronze, Silver and Gold). WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? Well, because...

We Need Your Help.

This might be an awkward way to ask for it, but here goes: we know you like Autostraddle, and we like you a whole lot too. Advertisers and investors, on the other hand? Well, independently-owned politically progressive LGBTQ women's media isn't exactly their thing. It's do or die for us now: either we shore up enough reader support to compensate for the slowdown in ad sales and increasing competition from corporate-owned LGBTQ media, or we shut down altogether.

That's why we've created Autostraddle Plus. It's a way for loyal readers like you to support the site for as little as $5 a month, and in return get a peek behind the curtain of Autostraddle with posts like this one, A+ swag, podcasts, Insider "newsletters," and essays/interviews from the previously-very-hidden parts of our hearts, souls and pants. Best of all, you're helping us keep Autostraddle.com free for everybody — free of cost, and also free from the inevitable compromises made by sites that cater to marketers, not readers.

A+ is a sustainable way for queer people and allies to opt into a system that financially supports other queer people. With the support of readers like you, we can pay our writers, diversify our team and continue to coordinate the worldwide meet-ups that have changed so many lives.

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Rachel is Autostraddle's Managing Editor and the editor who presides over news & politics coverage. Originally from Boston, MA, Rachel now lives in the Midwest. Topics dear to her heart include bisexuality, The X-Files and tacos. Her favorite Ciara video is probably "Ride," but if you're only going to watch one, she recommends "Like A Boy." You can follow her on twitter and instagram.

Rachel has written 1120 articles for us.