So You’re Mad About Something On The Internet

Crystal’s Team Pick:

This flow chart touches on everything I love, including but not limited to sandwiches, kittens, dick ratings, the high road, and your gay face.


Via Laughing Squid.

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Founding member. Former writer. Still loves Autostraddle with her whole heart.

Crystal has written 320 articles for us.


    • Don’t I know…Actually I thought of you and you only when I was checking out the diagram above. :-7

  1. I’m a stop at sandwich kind of person, however I’m going to use dickfinity as a descriptor for a few people I know (and one of them will take it as a compliment).

  2. Wouldn’t a true dick grab a sandwich, still be a dick, AND accept those dickawards? Yes, I’m sort of arguing, but I’ve just realized that the word ‘lick’ could stand for lesbian dicks, and we know you can’t have too much licks. *snorts* yeah, this comment is so dickish just hand me those dildo-lic dickawards already.

  3. “Insert 1-10 Hitlers”

    So brilliant, love it. I usually get distracted at the sandwich stage, except rather than get a sandwich I go bug the cat.

  4. I totally have landed on level 1, 2 and 3…perhaps even 4. Let’s not talk about it.

  5. This is just straight up unadulterated awesome. Thank you for bringing this to my attention Crystal.

  6. “yeah i guess i should check on that sandwich / dog / baby i have”

    i have thought and acted on all of the variations of this sentence. good show.

  7. So.. my question is, what level of dick-i-ness is it when you shut your computer, eat your damn sandwich, but harp on and on and on to anyone in real life who will listen to you about that F@#* AWFUL post that you read on the internet? Because, well, that’s a real day ruiner ;)

  8. How apropos…tonight I received my first hate comment on my blog. It’s a good one, ladies.

    as a straight man, all the lesbians that are out there should burn in acid.

    You stay KLASSY, Franco, whoever you are.

    *For the record, I should tell you that I did delete it.

  9. “Your mom needs help.” <- My style of argument.

    Also the correct reply to "How does that even make any sense?" is "Your face doesn't even make any sense."

  10. Hey now, people can have good debates on the internet, just like in person! You need to have mutual respect for each other and be willing to listen to the other person’s ideas, though! Never commenting = being silent and not having your ideas heard. (Although it does make sense to pick your battles wisely on the internets.)

  11. this will be random and sound really really bad crystal, but in my “where’s the fucking WATER” hangover at work ridiculousness, i clicked on this article because i looked at your icon and was instantly attracted to your face because i was reminded of SNAPE. and snape is sexy (fuck the haters).

    now that i’ve gotten that out of my system, i love this graphic.

    ok, carry on.

  12. This needs to be my desktop image. Sometimes I just need a lil’ reminder to get off the internet, pet my cats, destroy the right wing, etc.

  13. Um…Is it bad that this made me check my YouTube to see if I got a reply from the person I was arguing with…?

  14. As someone who has definitely argued on the internet for Level 3, this made me laugh out loud so hard.

    • The best part is the professor kitten’s face on Level 3. I also just noticed that the trophy says “For excellence in dickery.” For the record, I do like to argue sometimes if I’m bored. :)

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