Welcome to Saturday Morning Cartoons, a segment where four artists take turns delighting you with their whimsy, facts and punchlines on Saturday mornings! Our esteemed cartoon critters are Cameron Glavin, Anna Bongiovanni, Megan Praz and Yao Xiao. Today’s cartoon is by Anna!
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I think I need a bit of explanation of the shirt. Because, for years I’ve been seeing/hearing that term used as a slur for trans women, and gay men(usually feminine and gnc). Hell, sometimes just looking at the tag trans is beautiful on tumblr I see that term used.
Otherwise as always the comic is on point.
Hi! You mean the term sissy, right? Yeah, me (and I guess the character Andy through me) are aware/experienced of it being used as a slur, as well as it being used to bully, silence, and act aggressively towards those it’s directed at. I didn’t mean for it to be triggering in anyway, but to act rather as reclaiming the word in attempt to make it more powerful and sexy rather than shameful/something negative. I hope that explains things a little. I guess i was a little careless using a word many might not be comfortable with and that’s my bad.
Fair enough wasn’t thinking about the reclaiming part of it as in my experience has been mainly used towards gay men, and trans woman/feminine folx.
Another example of how many words carry different meaning in different circles! I write about sex and kink for work and the only connotation sissy has for me has to do with sissification as an act of domination!
Anyone else feel even more excluded from the LGBTQA community during Pride?
I didn’t participate this year. Mostly because I got the flu right before Long Beach Pride. But didn’t get the usual FOMO feeling. I attended Dyke Day LA last year just to see but after participating, didn’t feel the need to attend again.
I’ve never been to a Pride event, even though I’ve always kind of wanted to just to have the experience. But I’ve heard so many horror stories from other bi/pan/ace/otherwise poly- or non-sexual people about not feeling included (or being downright excluded) that I was afraid to go. Especially since I’d been involved with a straight cisgender man for the better part of the last decade, the idea of people giving me looks or making comments was a huge concern (social anxiety FTW).
Now I’m single right as San Diego Pride is approaching and I kind of want to go for the experience, but I’m still wary. I’m not afraid of people giving me a hard time, because they’ll probably assume I’m a lesbian, but then we move into the realm of conditional acceptance and how that’s not really acceptance, and I’m just not sure.
TL;DR – I totally feel you. Pride doesn’t feel like a very inclusive place for me, either.
I hear you. I marched this year and last year with my church. It was really, really great. I’m so glad I did it. But. It also brought home that BTQIA folks are not as visible at pride as we could/should be.
This year I invited my husband to join me and I also wore a t-shirt with the bi pride flag (so I wouldn’t be mistaken for straight). I was pretty blown away by how great it felt to connect with others showing the bi pride colors – I am not normally big on touching strangers but I high fived and hugged several bi people I saw. It was kind of like a secret pride within pride. I was also disappointed by how proportionally few of us were visible. And because I was on the look out for the bi colors, I noticed all the other non-rainbow non-GL pride colors, and again noticed how proportionally few there were. And I also felt such love for all of them/us showing up and claiming our space.
I did this too! Only with my trans flag. I marched and picked out all the other ones, including three kids whose faces lit up when they saw my flag. Best. And I noticed all the bi flags too XD
Made me wish for a secret queer girl flag, though. Backwards baseball cap? Carry our cats with us? Something. At least there’s Dyke March. But I wanted a pride-within-pride for queer girls too!
Maybe I will do something like that–something with the ace and pan flags/colors so I’m visible. Thank you for the idea! <3
I have had similar anxieties about pride (I identify as queer and my boyfriend is a cis-straight man). This year, we went together and carried a few signs. Some general ones (You are awesome!), but also I wanted to make a bi-pride one (even though I identify as queer I feel that bi-invisibility is a large part of why I have struggled about my identity). So I made a sign that said “The moon has phases, bisexuality does not”. I was nervous to carry it around, looking for judgement (which I saw some). But mostly it felt great to have a few people approach me, tell me how much they love my sign, and ask to take a picture of it. It felt like a mini act of rebellion and it was good to get some validation from other people who might have been to afraid to really talk about bisexuality. And I like to think that there are others who saw it, enjoyed it, felt too timid to say something, but hopefully will feel more “seen” and accepted in the queer community. Our community needs to expand its idea of what we are when it comes to race, ethnicity, gender, ability, orientation, etc. There should be room for all of us :)
I forgot to mention that someone who said she liked my sign was holding her own sign that said “Asexuality does exist!” She just made it and brought it to pride and held it up so community could gather and talk. Very brave of her, but it seemed to pay off and there was a nice-sized group sitting and talking about asexuality.
Well for SD I know there is a few events for trans, nb, and other folks. You could always go to one of those events, which will be more accepting. Like I have a few friends go to trans pride event which on Friday and it’s free. https://www.facebook.com/events/1602619670002609/?ti=icl
I didn’t get to pride in Phoenix last year–in fact, I’ve missed all big Pride events even when I’ve been around them (score for those eternally people avoidant + oblivious to dates?). I did find another event in Phoenix which was more family oriented. Rainbow Festival maybe?
Anyway, I made myself go and it was comparatively quiet. I found an older woman who was also lost and we palled around. Since I’ve had some very negative reactions expressing that I was ace, I was very nervous about even mentioning it at all despite romantic orientation being not-straight. I don’t know if it was because I found a particularly welcoming group, if it was the nature of the quieter festival, or what–but it was very nice.
Which is the long way of saying what others have here–maybe look for some quieter events (either in pride or outside of pride) or keep an eye out for any indication of a safe space within a safe space.
Its what I’ll be trying in Atlanta this year (provided i don’t chicken out!)
I didn’t spend too much time at Long Beach(mostly went to spend time with a friend), but they did have Charo there as the grand marshal.
I’ve never to been to dyke day, but from what I have seen and heard it sounds less corporate and more just queers meeting up at the park.
So many fuzzies and sharpies at once! This month it did cross my mind that it would be easier to just take a sexuality sabbatical because it has been so.much.so.much. I feel the ‘taking space’ bit acutely. Anyway, thank you for making such beautiful, funny and compassionate art.
The taking space and mourning publicly part! So many feelings!
The level of justification and explanation that a lot of people expect/”need” from queer people in exchange for giving space or “allowing” us to mourn and grieve (openly/freely/however you want to) is so absurd. I often feel like I have to prepare a small analytical essay before I can express certain feelings or the need for certain spaces. How about because feelings happen! and people need a space to feel feelings with people who understand and don’t ask for an explanation.
All of the feels.
You’re seriously my favorite. Ever. Ever ever ever. I just want to tell you how much I love all of your work!
I love your cartoons so much Anna <3
intense cry-laughing is definitely the theme of the last month I think