Reine #18: What House Plant Are You?

A hand drawn image of nine plants in pastel colors. They are attached with the following descriptions: Maranata — High femme, high maintenance, totally worth it. String Plants — sensitive but sweet, everyone’s BFF bottom, Mystery Succulent — sentimental, day-dreamer, expert at first dates. Bird of Paradise — TTRPG, Gamer Girl, intimidating but shy, true vers. Herbs — Mom friend, sometimes naive U-Hauler. Monstera — Mommi Friend, into crystals/tarot, thirst trap Champ. Ficus — very cool leather dyke, extremely giving. Carnivorous — crafty/DIY dyke, kinda goth, excellent skincare. Fake — Top energy, buys lots of books, doesn’t read them.

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Ren Strapp is a butch lesbian illustrator and designer, who makes comics about her life. She is an Appalachian farm girl living in Portland, OR. She loves birds and plants. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram and support her work on Patreon.

Ren has written 24 articles for us.


  1. Sad to learn BoP are not cat-safe but as a Magic the Gathering player may I just say how much I appreciate linking that one to gaming

  2. I have several beloved mystery succulents and one of them is getting ready to bloom! Woo hoo.

    I am a day dreamer but was never good at first dates, so that’s semi accurate.

  3. Christmas cactus
    Tomboy femme
    Reserved when she doesn’t know you
    Fiercely loyal friend

    Spider plant
    Messy bi friend
    Generous but unpredictable
    Falls in and out of love easily

    Banana plant
    Kitchen queer
    Pickling expert
    Shows love through food

  4. Al

    I might be a string plant, but in our yard, we had birds of paradise, which is also kind of me.

  5. my tag requires basic math. i was going to say a mystery cactus/bird of paradise mashup (if subtraction is allowed), but @cepperly added christmas cactus, so now i need addition as well.

      • I always derive great pleasure from seeing which angle you choose to pun from. Are pure math puns aloe’d here or must all puns be rooted in both math and plants? (Does asking make me a square?)

        • i might not have a green thumb for this, but i’d cosine any contributions; there’s always room to grow.

          • But do you have a Pythagreen Theorumb?

        • All puns are welcome, but I always try to find the leaf common denominator

          • Pythaficus? i don’t know her…

  6. :)

    I’m string plants with a Maranta significant other.

  7. Ooh I love this, I think I’m a Maranta and also a Miranda, in that I’m a slightly uptight bisexual obsessed with Cynthia Nixon

    • Not like, unhealthily obsessed, just a “Yes I will rewatch this recorded stage version of The Women again, and not only for Jennifer Tilly” level fan

  8. I’m a Mystery Succulent [who’s bad at first dates] wing Bird of Paradise

  9. I want to say a Carnivorous, BoP, and Succulent combo. The only thing is that I’m not sure I have first date expertise. Sure, my first dates have all gone well, but can it be expertise if that first date is usually the only date? I’m just not sure.

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