Quiz: Which Muppet Are You?

As often discussed across the internet and also right here on Autostraddle Dot Com, the muppets are a little bit gay, or at least a little bit weird, and a lot of gay people are weird, so there is an important intersection there. Anyhow speaking of things that are important, which of this legendary band of adorable creatures created by Jim Henson is most near and dear to your felt heart? Ladies and gentlepeople: which muppet are you?!?!?!?!

Which Muppet Are You?

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Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3227 articles for us.


  1. I feel surprisingly seen for a queer website quiz on ‘which muppet are you’. I also have always found Kermit’s earnestness mildly annoying which says a lot about me 😂

    You’re the friendliest frog in the pond, full of big ideas and always so nervous about getting everything right and making sure everyone is happy! But don’t worry we love you and you’re doing great.

  2. I never watched the original Muppets show (I saw their movies as a kid) and watching it now it still holds up so well. If you want something to make you smile before you go to bed, I highly recommend it!

    And yeah, me being Fozzie didn’t surprise at all :)

  3. I’m Statler and Waldorf!

    “Do you sometimes have cantankerous opinions? Sure. But you only give so much feedback because you care so much and although your cricitisms sometimes suggest otherwise, it never stops you from turning up to support. As Community Elders you have a lot to impart upon all the baby queers.”

  4. As a slightly extroverted HSP, this sounds legit:
    “You’re the one and only endlessly iconic daredevil Gonzo the Great! You’re creative and weird and entirely yourself and there is nobody else out there like you. Sometimes it can be lonely to be so unique, but whenever you find the right birds of a feather, you’re first in line to flock together.”

  5. Beaker. That makes perfect sense.

    “You’re Beaker! No matter how many times life tries to blow you up, you always survive!!! MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP”
    The truest line I’ve ever gotten from one of these quizzes.

      • 1) i feel like your vision here is prob highly accurate 2) like. they’re curious! they do experiments! the shorter one is slightly bossier and has glasses, the taller one’s got that spiky hair! and if something explodes might freak out without using their words for a minute before grabbing the fire extinguisher and handling it and then everything’s fine 3) i got gonzo, which, LOL at gonzo being their erotic third 4) truly long live this website for this entire train of thought

  6. “You’re Fozzie Bear! You live to laugh, or more accurately you live to make other people laugh! You’re not the most self-aware muppet, but you are the most optimistic and the most huggable, and the room brightens up the moment you arrive.”

    The second I chose “I do improv” I knew I was done for. Can’t say it isn’t accurate!

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