Quiz: Plan a Murder Mystery Party and I’ll Tell You What Type of Wife Guy You Are

In honor of television’s top Wife Guy Jeff Sadecki being back on our televisions for the second season of Yellowjackets, I, with the help of some dear friends, came up with this personality quiz, which will tell you exactly what style of Wife Guy you are in your heart. Let me be clear: The term “Wife Guywp_postsfor our purposes is both complimentary and gender neutral. You do not have to have a literal wife in order to exhibit the qualities of a Wife Guy. You do not even need to be in a relationship at all. This quiz will simply tell you about the Wife Guy energy you bring to the table and perhaps can be applicable to non-romantic relationships, like the way you ride for your bestie or would physically fight someone on the behalf of your dog. What we’re really psychoanalyzing here is your propensity for loyalty, partnership, and devotion.

Why a murder mystery party? Because it sounded fun! And because, as my friend pointed out, there are lots of trust exercises necessarily baked into the concept of a murder mystery. Let’s have some murdery fun!


First, pick a Murder Mystery Box!(Required)
What is the key to a successful murder mystery party?(Required)
How are you inviting friends to your murder mystery party?(Required)
How would your friends react to you inviting them to a murder mystery party?(Required)
What IS on the menu?(Required)
What drinks are you serving?(Required)
Where are you going for party decor?(Required)
What murder mystery character that I just made up sounds like someone who you’d wanna play?(Required)
What’s your general approach to your costume for the party?(Required)
What do you hope is the overall vibe of the party?(Required)
What character-defining accessory does your character wear?(Required)
Where are you hosting the party?(Required)
What do you hope people leave the party with?(Required)


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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 657 articles for us.

20 Comments

    • *I mean I know you don’t have to have a wife for this, just thought I should clarify in case anyone thought I was out here pretending to have a wife… aaaaaaaand I’m overthinking, welcome to my brain.

  1. “You are the kind of Wife Guy who puts a sticker with your wife’s Instagram handle on it on your car.

    Don’t let anyone call you a simp, even though you’re kind of a simp! You want the world to see how beautiful your wife is, and you want to help boost that follower count, and that is very nice of you. Display that sticker with pride, because you are indeed very proud of your wife!”

    I have a couple of friends from school who boost each other’s projects like this, and I find it super endearing.

    • I will open the pickle jar!

      “You use your strength as a way to genuinely help out when needed. It’s HOT when you open that jar. You always at least let your wife try first, too.”

      I was wondering which little jeff picture corresponded to which answer, they were all picked so beautifully!

  2. “You are the kind of Wife Guy who will take one thousand photos of your wife until you get the right shot.”

    This is not wrong, although my spouse is a little camera shy, so I don’t get to take that many photos of him. But in general, definitely willing to do The Thing he needs multiple times until it’s right.

  3. “You are the kind of Wife Guy who will take your wife’s side in any conflict.”

    The first person I thought of was Josh Gondelman, who does a joke about this in his special, and I am a-ok with having Josh Gondelman energy.

    (He is a straight cis man comedian but his comedy is overall very kind and he loves his actual wife, Maris Kreizman, a whole lot.)

  4. I will open the pickle jar!

    “You use your strength as a way to genuinely help out when needed. It’s HOT when you open that jar. You always at least let your wife try first, too.”

    I was wondering which little jeff picture corresponded to which answer, they were all picked so beautifully!

  5. “You are the kind of Wife Guy who offers space in your suitcase to your wife when you go on a trip together.

    Your wife needs the extra space for backup outfits and shoe options, and you are more than willing to provide! That’s you, a generous provider. Of suitcase space and in the bedroom.”

    I tend to travel as light as possible, so yea, this tracks.

  6. all my friends lowkey/highkey hate jeff but he will always have a spot in my heart because of “THERES NO BOOKCLUB?!” and so, i was very excited to see this quiz

    ahh! pickle jar strength–time to hit the gym for my loves ᕦ(•̀_•́)ᕤ

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