It’s spring time, and you know what that means! More people. Standing near more people in public. Coexisting with large swaths of people. Your general area, more crowded. But in the sun!!! Maybe you’re going to a concert (aw!) or you’re waiting for your table at brunch (ugh!) or you’re trying to get in a bar after some sports game has let out and you keep hearing the bouncer vary his answer from five to ten dollars whenever someone asks how much based in your mind on no discernible criteria and so you call him on it when it’s your turn to get in and he doesn’t like your suggestion that you should get in free on account of all the money he’s made up-selling patrons and he tells you to go and you know you don’t have it in you to even attempt to flirt and so you find yourself standing near an entirely new group of people just down the street.
What you do in these moments, standing with your peers, is who you are. Your idling style is more telling than any answer a dating app question could elicit from you. Before getting into a relationship with someone you should get to see a two minute video of the person waiting for something while in the middle a large group of people. What’s their truth? Do they survey those around them? Anchor down on their crew or person?
Or do they hold court like that guy in the MAGA hat.
This is the most recent incarnation of white guy with a dumb hat who has something to say in a long standing history of white guys with dumb hats who have something to say, but if you haven’t had this particular pleasure yet, I’ve made a playlist honoring this experience. It’s filled with hit after hit. And between the kind of policy making that’s forcing a societal hand to double down on a literal time bomb, this is liable to be the playlist of the summer!