NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Happy Just To Dance With You

Feature image via queerishot.

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Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

+ The main issue in non-monogamous relationships isn’t jealousy or commitment, but scheduling:

“‘People think that people who are non-monogamous have commitment issues. My experience is actually quite the opposite: I find that people who are in healthy, functioning non-monogamous relationships are very committed, very communicative. They happen to commit to more than one person.

‘The other thing is, this is kind of a funny one, they think that non-monogamous people are just fucking all the time, and actually, we’re talking all the time! We spend most of our time talking, and then whatever’s left we get to fuck. But having a bunch of relationships requires a lot of talking, a lot of negotiating, a lot of open communication. The other misconception that I hear a lot is some people think we don’t have jealousy, and that’s not true. We just accept jealousy as another emotion — like happiness, sadness, anger — and we delve into why it’s happening.

‘The biggest issue is not jealousy; the biggest issue is scheduling. We have too many calendars syncing to each other, and we try to make time for each other.'”

+ Is drunk cuddling in your underwear cheating? Dear Coquette answers: “It’s not for me to say whether it was cheating. That’s up to you and your romantic partners to decide. You’re the ones who should define the terms of your relationship.”

+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen and Tracy Puhl write about period sex, noting, “Loving your body — or your partner’s body — any day of the month is a really radical act in a world where we’re taught to fear our bodies or find them shameful!” (Also check out our Lesbian Sex Survey period sex data.)

+ At the Rumpus, Ames Hawkins writes about her voyeurism and writing and more:

“For me looking—being able to see—this is my art, my pleasure, my interest. And I enjoy having the frame, the opening, the perspective, the orientation be continually in motion. To be able to fuck with how it is I know I may or may not be viewed, what the story might become. This is where and how I derive pleasure. Through the act of exploring the art of the reveal—how much, when, where, who, why: this is how I seek my bliss.

I am, in other words, a voyeur. In the most colloquial sense, I like to watch. But it’s far more complicated, more nuanced than that. I get off not just by looking, but noticing, and even more than noticing, my erotic desire is connected to the act of taking note. What I am struggling to say is this: My sexuality is writer.”

+ Dayna Troisi writes about learning about sexuality at her camp for kids with limb differences:

“At the time, I felt so empowered, so charged, so sexy, and so confident around these girls. I felt like I finally had a group of friends like girls in the movies. I’d never felt this way before camp. I’d had sexual experiences (with people equally as uncool as me), but I didn’t talk about them. At Amp Camp I felt like one of The Cheetah Girls, except I was bi and missing a limb.

In reality, a lot of this was big talk mixed with a little wishful thinking. We weren’t that experienced. Some of us had long-time boyfriends, some of us slept around, some of us hadn’t had sex yet. But together, in the comfort that comes from being around other people with limb differences, we were able to work through the complications of sex that come along with people assuming you’re not sexual. We were able to form language for what all of that means.”

C.dellan via rodeoh

C.dellan via rodeoh

+ Affirmative consent-based sex education is better than no sex education, but it still doesn’t foster a healthy approach to sexuality. Instead, some educators are calling for an earlier, more holistic approach to sex education to help children form an overall healthy perspective that can build in age-appropriate stages:

“Both educators believe that children would be better off with a more comprehensive understanding of sexuality, beyond just the issue of consent—one most effectively taught at a younger age as part of a larger curriculum that includes teachings on boundaries, personal autonomy, relationships, and other aspects of sexual health. This attitude reflects a growing movement among sexuality organizations and educators to advocate for comprehensive sex-education programs that begin as early as kindergarten, to provide students with age-appropriate and medically accurate information that acts as a foundation for later lessons on consent.”

+ From the Autostraddle Lesbian Sex Archives: celebrate Masturbation Month with five solo CrashPad scenes.

Carolyn Yates is the NSFW Consultant, and was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor, for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She recently moved to Los Angeles from Montreal. Find her on twitter.

Carolyn has written 894 articles for us.

5 Comments

  1. I don’t think drunk cuddling is cheating but my fiancée thinks it is. I just like cuddling but I only do it with g girls that I am close to, some just also happen to be very very very attractive. Not going to lie, there have been times drunk cuddling almost led to other things but I still didn’t cheat.

  2. I’m interested to know if anyone still uses the identification ‘swinger’ to describe their sex life. It feels like something my parents would say about a couple that got drunk and handsy with too many people are the summer bbq.

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