NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Wants Sex And Tea In That Order

Feature image via colorandcurves.tumblr.com.


Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

+ In the Guardian, sex educator Betty Dodson talks about reviving her bodysex workshops at age 85:

“A teaching programme for women who want to spread the Dodson word was introduced this year. “Women tell me they worry their fantasies aren’t feminist enough. I tell them: ‘Honey, the dirtier and nastier, the better.’ I have a Rolodex, a whole series. My fantasies are so dirty, they’d put me away.’ […]

Her message – keep up a sexual relationship with yourself, you can have first-rate orgasms by yourself; stop doing what you think your partner wants to see in bed – seems more necessary than ever in an age when increasing pornification of our culture is making these ideals harder for women.”

+ Kinkly has an excerpt from Tristan Taormino’s 50 Shades of Kink, including info on feathers in bondage, massage oils, blindfolds and how to use nipple clamps:

“With adjustable clamps, you can start out with the loosest clamping and work your way up to a tighter and more severe pinch. Take your partner’s nipple and rub it until it’s hard. Place each side of the clamp on the nipple, then slowly begin to slide the ring toward the nipple to tighten it. Check in with your partner to see what feels good. When you put a clamp on a part of the body, you cut off the circulation to that area. The nipples can get very sensitive, so tugging on the chain between the clamps sends a zing throughout the body. While it hurts to varying degrees when you put the clamps on and tug at them, it feels a hell of a lot worse when the clamps come off. The blood quickly rushes back to the area in a big burst, and bang, your brain registers pain. So, if your partner is a beginner, leave nipple clamps on for less than a minute before you take them off. You can gradually work your way up to longer amounts of time, but you shouldn’t leave clamps on for more than fifteen minutes.”

Briana Shanee via colorandcurves

Briana Shanee via colorandcurves

+ Stoya answers questions about squirting, finding out what turns you on, being sore after rough sex and more.

+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Allison “Mu” Jones discusses spectrum sliding characters.

+ If Wes Anderson directed porn, this is what it’d look like.

+ Cara Sutra discusses her experiences as a kinky person who has lived with vanilla partners.

+ Tea is more affectionate than sex to British women, says a recent study of British people:

“As well as being asked to answer a series of formal questions involving ranking their satisfaction with different aspects of their relationship, couples were given a blank space and asked to list two things their partner did to make them feel appreciated.

So many participants listed making tea that it had to be given a category of its own when the results were analysed.

“There is something peculiarly British about a cup of tea, that definitely seems to speak a thousand words,” said Dr Gabb.

When the results were separated, women ranked having a cup of tea made for them ahead of fundamental signs of love, such as having their opinions valued and well ahead of sexual intimacy.”

+ BuzzFeed hosted a conversation between six women — Tracy Clayton, Alex Tauchman, Julie Gerstein, Conz Preti, Lara Parker and Aurora Snow — on what they think about porn and how to make it better. Tauchman notes:

“I think that sex itself is necessarily apolitical, as it is a space for play and imagination and unmitigated self-expression, so the only sort of politics I concern myself with when I watch porn are that of consent. I can’t watch any porn where I don’t feel good about whether the actions I’m seeing are consensual. Beyond that, I feel like porn is a great free space to explore.”

+ Americans keep getting kinkier with technology and masturbating more. For example, 21% of women watch live sex shows online, 26% of respondents have had sexual relations via webcam, and 40% of women under 35 have shared photos or videos via text or social media. 25% have filmed or photographed themselves having sex with a partner, and 50% are interested in trying it out.


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Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1142 articles for us.

10 Comments

  1. I’m British and I don’t get it 0___0 I mean, what the hell kind of tea are you drinking?!?!

    • I drink plenty of excellent tea and I’d still put “having [my] opinions valued” just that slightest bit ahead, y’know? This might say more about the sex that the survey respondents are having than what they’re drinking.

    • Maybe if the tea were being incorporated into the sex somehow? (What would the lady-on-lady equivalent of teabagging be?)

  2. My bff disagrees with me on the sexiness of ladies #3 and #6. But he also doesn’t like Harry Potter, I should just accepted his insanity.

  3. Damn, I was really hoping that kinky/vanilla article would offer me some positive advice, or at least would comfort me with a personal story from someone who might have managed to make up a few practical solutions in order to successfully deal with this sad, sad gap… I would love to hear of a new way (for me, as in ‘a way to see it I haven’t thought about yet”) to turn this situation into something good, to make sure there is a positive outome.

    As a (very, very) kinky person, living and deeply in love with a pure vanilla girl, the challenges we meet are very difficult to rise above. Although I usually value differences very much, I actually loathe this one, because I’m absolutely unable to see it as anything that could bring us closer to each other.

    • (And I know you’re not supposed to say “As a xxx person, [[subject that is not me] main clause]”, but I still did it. Now I’m ashamed.)

Comments are closed.