NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Mastering Pain

Feature image of Adina and Saffron in Crash Pad Series episode 303. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Daisy Ducati and Ella Nova

Daisy Ducati and Ella Nova in Crash Pad Series episode 186

Do you have a friend with a partner who sucks? Figure out how your friend feels about their shitty partner, figure out what your goals are in intervening or saying something, ask questions, and don’t say “this person sucks and you can do better” even if it’s very true:

“To be clear: your friend’s partner sucks, and they can probably do better, but saying so in such harsh terms is a fairly nuclear option, and not the best one to lead with.

First, it’s likely your friend will get defensive if you say that. Yes, they might be down to talk shit about their partner’s latest screw-up, but that doesn’t mean they are cool with someone else doing it. It’s also the kind of thing that your friend won’t be able to unhear once they’ve cooled off a bit—now they just know you think their person is a deadbeat.”

Adina and Saffron doing a spanking scene w/ a book as paddle

Adina and Saffron in Crash Pad Series episode 303

You can enjoy your own body and getting to know yourself is more important than getting to know someone else, as Stephanie Mided writes on being single at Oh Joy Sex Toy.

Here’s how to be more patient.

Hey Epiphora wrote about that time she came out to her entire high school.

Climate change is ruining horny season.”

For partnered sleeping, why not try one bed, two blankets?

Lex’s language-first approach is a game changer.

If you’ve spent any amount of time yearning and longing for someone, it’s time to dismantle your projections. But it’s also time to see what you’re doing as existing in a state of familiarity with longing, and to look at why that might be comforting, and then to take steps to connect with your actual self and your actual real grounded life, as Heather Havrilesky writes:

Life is bewildering and it’s easy to retreat into fantasy at this moment in history. When you pull yourself back from the hyper-romantic simulation you’ve created, you have to rebuild your connection to the rough realities of your life. You have to look for gifts under your dirty fucking rug. You have to sit with your unvarnished, fragile self and try to love the person you find there. […]

It’s time to walk away from this thing that isn’t real, that isn’t yours, that isn’t anything at all. So many people actively destroy their emotional health and shut themselves off from the richness and endless possibility of their real lives by waiting for someone who’ll never come around. Nothing can grow when you’re waiting. No one new can come along as you wait.”

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Carolyn Yates was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She lives in Los Angeles by way of Montreal and Toronto. Find her on twitter or instagram.

Carolyn has written 997 articles for us.

3 Comments

  1. I definitely read one of the links as “Holy Season” and wondered both what an article about climate change and liturgical calendars was doing on this list, and what was meant by it. Imagine my surprise when the article the opened in another window said the ruining of “horny” season! 😂

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