NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Not in a Permanent State of Enthusiasm

Feature image of Lindsay Cin and Valentine in Crash Pad Series episode 276. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Lindsay Cin and Valentine in Crash Pad Series episode 276

Anti-sex FOSTA/SESTA are part of why Tumblr is cracking down on sex and why it’s part of making it impossible to talk about sex on the internet, writes queer person and porn creator Cookie Cyboid at the Establishment:

“The Tumblr and Facebook bans are just the start. As SESTA/FOSTA becomes more entrenched and more tech companies fall in line, I predict we will see other platforms begin to clamp down on any content related to sex for fear of being sued. It’s easier for them to ban all sex-related content than to try to screen for trafficking accurately.

Do you watch porn? Do you like to discuss sex on the internet? Do you use the internet to get laid? Those days are short-lived unless we fight to repeal this. And because most companies have operations in the USA, this will affect people all over the world.”

Barbary Rose and Rion Rhodes in Crash Pad Series episode 277

It might hurt when you have sex sometimes! At Broadly, Kate Lloyd writes about six possible reasons sex might hurt if you have a vagina, and discusses what you can do about it.

Is your (abusive) partner tracking you via your phone? Trust your instincts. If someone knows way too much about you, it’s possible they’re monitoring you.

“Nude psychotherapy” used to be a thing.

“I study what I want — including gender and sexuality and how power exists and is recreated in intimate interactions and then patterned back out into social structures. Including Daddy,” writes Kimberley Dark at Ms.

Mona Wales and Natalie Chen in Crash Pad Series episode 271

Opening a closed relationship can be a lot of work. If one partner wants it more than the other, taking it slow can help. So can finding community with other non-monogamous folks, not comparing yourself to your partners’ partners, recognizing that sometimes you’ll feel jealous, setting boundaries (and being willing to explore possible scenarios and how you’d act within them):

“When embarking on being open, you have to imagine how you might feel in a number of different situations. “People in consensually non-monogamous relationships do not have scripts to follow,” Conley says. While there’s a general consensus of what’s okay and what’s not in monogamous relationships, open relationships are negotiated and re-negotiated all the time. “I think boundary setting should happen in monogamous relationships as well. People think that they know what other people mean by ‘monogamous,’ for example. But in reality, people’s definitions of monogamy are idiosyncratic,” she says.

Golden Curlz and Vivienne Vai in Crash Pad Series episode 273

To expand on that point, couples therapist Esther Perel was interviewed in the New Yorker on modern relationships (specifically marriage) and notes:

“So I think that’s the big thing that is changing: what used to be defined by rules and duty and obligation now has to take place in conversation. And so everything is a freakin’ negotiation! You negotiate with your partner about what matters, where you want to live, if you want to have children, how many children do you want to have, if this is the right time to have children. It’s an absolute existential smorgasbord. But at the same time it’s very difficult to have to define everything ourselves. We are not just in pain for no reason, is what I’m trying to say.”

Carolyn Yates was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She lives in Los Angeles by way of Montreal and Toronto. Find her on twitter or instagram.

Carolyn has written 946 articles for us.

2 Comments

  1. I have too many words, even after a week when I was pretty damn sure without being told it was FOSTA/SESTA not some clueless capitalist attempt to better monetize Tumblr.

    It’s a jumble of “those tech companies are fucking cowards”, this ever bubbling rage about the unholy alliance between Swerfs and American conservatism, the absolute in ineptitude of algorithms that are suppose to find pornographic content combined with the Venus scene of Persepolis and how in the West we treat nudes like they are for white men’s consumption making some nudes no matter how artistic and unsexual the intent automatically obscene.

    There’s no John Denver of tech, no Frank Zappa, or Dee Snider of tech, hell there isn’t even going to be a hearing.

    How inept are those porn seeking algorithms do you maybe wonder?
    Bread, kittens, dunes, desert vistas, paint swatches, abstract art, sand, fossils, geological samples anything thing close to a white person’s skintone got flagged.

    Things actually humanoid? A man in a sleeveless shirt, figurines, children’s toys, just plain fully clothed art of human figures, Michelangelo’s David which did not meet the criteria of exclusion fine art was suppose to get according to who ever responded to the appeal.

    I wish I had jpegs on file for all of it but it was just too fucking much. Also I have only so much data space.

    Rant done for now as I’m still copying people’s info on a pad of paper.

  2. Is it me or FOSTA/SESTA is repeting the same mistakes that still exist with almost all the laws related to the “War on Drugs”, not just in the US but all over the world?

    I mean, you have a problem and instead of dealing with the problem, you just pass harsher, over the top laws that never work.

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