Feature image of Erykah Ohms and Tina Horn in Crash Pad Series episode 262. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad Series. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
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Mystic Minaxxx and Nyxeris Omega in Crash Pad Series episode 268
The lies people tell on dating apps are mostly about self-presentation and availability, like when you were too busy reading that newest book by that author they mention in their profile to charge your phone last night, write the authors of a recent study:
“We found that lies could be categorized into two main types: The first kind were lies related to self-presentation. If participants wanted to present themselves as more attractive, for example, they would lie about how often they went to the gym. […]
The second kind of lies were related to availability management, with daters describing why they couldn’t meet, or giving excuses for radio silence, like lying about their phone losing service. These deceptions are called ‘butler lies’ because they’re a relatively polite way to avoid communication without completely closing the door on the connection. […]
Butler lies don’t make you a bad person. Instead, they can help you avoid dating pitfalls, such as appearing always available or desperate.”
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Valentine and Calico in Crash Pad episode 232
The best ways to take nudes? Practice posing in a mirror, tidy your setting, use natural light, try different angles until you know your faves, use passwords and secure networks, and don’t get self-critical:
“Don’t overthink it or be too critical about your appearance. ‘Bellies are beautiful,’ says Spinelle. In fact, she adds, ‘Renaissance paintings were all about the belly.’ The thing is, chances are high that the person you’re sending this photo to has seen you naked before and was into it enough to want a nude photo of you exactly as you are, not some airbrushed version of you.”
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Finn McKee and Scout in Crash Pad Series episode 267
Here are five trans women on losing their virginity twice.
Here’s how often you need a pap smear.
Here’s one take on the Ultimate Sex Playlist.
Here’s how to digitally erase your ex.
If you have a vulva, it can be uncomfortable mentally to receive oral sex. At Allure, Sophie Saint Thomas writes about using Lelo’s Ora 2 to manage PTSD flashbacks and learn to relax during oral.
South Korea is getting more sex shops.
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La Muxer Diosa and Nikki Darling Crash Pad Series episode 269
Writer and activist Juno Roche wrote about dating when you’re HIV positive for Broadly:
“It took me a really long time to date after being diagnosed. I enjoyed sex and wanted intimacy and to meet people, but I knew I’d have to tell them about my HIV status. When you’re a trans woman with HIV, there’s danger involved in telling prospective partners. I’ve had men respond incredibly aggressively. On the other side, sometimes I’d tell someone and they’d be completely fine with it, and I’d feel like I had to fall in love with them because they accepted me. A lot of people with HIV I know stayed in existing relationships, because it was easier. I mean, there were literally newspaper front pages saying, “Ship them all off to an island and let them die.” And you’re trying to date in that environment. That’s your label. You’re not reasonably attractive, funny, educated, bright, solvent. Those aren’t your labels. Your labels are: should be shipped off, you deserve to die. And you think, Do I tell somebody that’s my label? What if they find out?”
Wish we could stop telling ppl with PTSD how to “get over it”
Somehow I think hearing the phrase “Hey little girl is your daddy home” over and over is going to extinguish any flames in the bedroom…