NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Calling a Vulva a Vulva

Feature image of Cherry Torn and Lilith Luxe in Crash Pad Series episode 213. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad Series. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Odile and Daisy Ducati in Crash Pad Series episode 160

You don’t have to like vacation sex, writes sex therapist Vanessa Marin at Allure:

“Your first step is to have a conversation with your girlfriend before you two leave. Don’t wait until you’re already on vacation and arguing about not having sex. Let her know first that you like being intimate with her, and give her some personal reasons why. Whenever you need to have a tough conversation about your sex life, it’s always great to start with compliments. […]

Then, let your girlfriend know that you’re feeling pressured by the idea of vacation sex. Tell her you want to enjoy this special time away together, but that the pressure of needing to have hot sex is blocking the desire you usually feel. Ask your girlfriend what her specific desires are for your time away together.”

Chocolate Chip and Nikki Darling in Crash Pad Series episode 152

Here’s one take on what it’s like to be a relationship anarchist, as Alvira, a queer, genderqueer lesbian, tells the Cut:

“I have three other partners, one of which is another anchor partner. But also, the labels don’t really matter in that they’re all like family to me. We do holidays and things together, and we all support each other. I think that terminology is always in flux. All relationships ebb and flow, and sometimes you reach a certain level of intimacy where you might want to change what you call each other, and sometimes relationships change — you might say, okay, maybe we don’t have this romantic aspect anymore, or we don’t have a sexual aspect anymore, and we might want to change a label, but maybe not. The idea is that we’re using words that describe what we’re doing, rather than words that prescribe how we have to do it.”

Cinnamon and Cicatriz in Crash Pad Series episode 169

Still got a few nights of dress-up for Halloween ahead of you? Check out these throuple costume ideas.

Yes you can move on when something doesn’t work out.

Just call a vulva a vulva.

Even though “cuffing season” isn’t part of scientific discourse (yet?), research has a few things to say about seasonal sex and relationship patterns.

Here are the bad patterns each astrological sign will probably repeat.

Valentine and Calico in Crash Pad episode 232

“It’s best to be equipped with the communication, charm, and emotional maturity to handle introducing your ex to your new significant other as painlessly as possible for all parties,” writes Rae Witte at Nylon:

“Once your ex is spotted, talk to your new partner first. Lightly inform them that you’ve seen your ex, you want to say hello, and you’d like your partner by your side. Offer them the option to not be introduced, if that makes them more comfortable. Be clear about whether or not your ex knows about your new relationship. Don’t bash your ex, but do let your new partner know if your ex is prone to rudeness, jealousy, or is just bad at handling uncomfortable conversations.”

Scout and Lew Pine in Crash Pad Series episode 227

Somatic sex education can help people reconnect with their bodies after sexual assault, writes Amanda Scriver at Allure:

“I ended up being enrolled in somatic sex education sessions for a month. I found my time with my educator enlightening and transformative and felt the heaviness slowly lift from me with every session we had. Together, Roberts and I laid some very important groundwork toward my personal realization that yes, my body is my own and I can own the feeling of pleasure once again. I felt something inside of me beginning to heal during those sessions, and it felt electric and exciting. I was no longer trapped inside of my own body — rather, I felt as if I was being introduced to it in a whole new way.”

Carolyn Yates was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She lives in Los Angeles by way of Montreal and Toronto. Find her on twitter or instagram.

Carolyn has written 946 articles for us.

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