Feature image by Meg Allen.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
+ In honor of Pride, Babeland is offering 25% off qualifying orders!
+ Masturbation should be part of sex education:
“Self pleasure costs you nothing emotionally; as the popular saying goes, “It’s sex with someone you love” (or, for many people, someone you are learning to love). With masturbation, there is no risk of the complications that jealousy, lust or fear can bring to a relationship, and it’s a great way to explore avenues of sexuality long before you explore sex with a partner.”
via queersex
+ It would be really great if people could stop erasing bisexual experiences, and also asking these eight questions.
+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen discusses herpes.
+ Pink Label is auctioning one of the cameras used to make the original queer porn movie The Crash Pad (and also many episodes after).
+ Cara Sutra has a guide to taking sexy photos that are flattering and arty.
+ Asexuals Project, by Laia Abril, is an ongoing online multimedia project:
“Asexuals do not feel sexual attraction. Asexuals romantics might feel romance and platonic affection but not sexual desire. Asexuals aromantics feel neither. The first community of “out” asexuals coalesced in the early 21st century, but struggles to deal with prejudices similar to that levelled against other sexual minorities. Accused of disease or denial, many asexual now hope to increase visibility and knowledge of their sexuality. […]
The project portrays and gives voice to a whole spectrum of this sexual orientation, aiming to shed some light on a little-known community and to create a visual-creative-informative platform that encourages engagement.”
via queersex
+ One of the problems with AB1576, the bill that will require condoms on adult film sets and regular STI testing for performers in California, is that no one has really asked adult performers to weigh in. So Stoya did:
“Backing the bill are organizations like FAIR, which claim that “the result of this unsafe work environment is a public health crisis,” while opposition groups like Stop AB1576 argue that “there has been no transmission of HIV on a regulated adult set nationwide in 10 years.” While offering compelling soundbytes, both sides fail to convey the complicated truth of the situation.
More importantly, neither stance seems likely to achieve practical improvement of working conditions for adult performers. All the harm reduction plans in the world won’t make a difference if the groups they’re meant to help won’t comply with them. Neither will maintaining that the current systems work without acknowledging room for improvement.”
via loneookami
+ Did you read Sugarbutch’s article on Autostraddle about getting into a kinky headspace for beginners? Just wondering. It’s pretty hot, so.
+ Here’s what to do if you have a crush on your barista but don’t know whether she’s being gay and flirty or just irresponsible (and also what to do if you keep having crushes on straight girls):
“The reality is there is no sure way of knowing without asking. I mean, you could ask her about Tegan and Sara or something, but the LGBT community has come too far to rely on stereotypes just because you’re scared! Rather than putting yourself all the way out there and asking her on an actual date, how about a casual invitation to hang out and get to know her better so you can approach the topic from a more subtle angle?”
All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
The asexual project sounds like it’s going to be amazing. I’m really looking forward to it.
Pretty sure Vagician is my new favorite word!
You cannot understand how happy it makes me that your post included an article about asexuality. Asexual erasure/prejudice is a very prevalent problem…I have rarely met anyone who actually understands what it is, and once I explain it people generally either think there’s something wrong with me or tell me I’ll grow out of it. It’s very demeaning.
/asexual queer woman fistbump of solidarity
*does the fistbump* That’s another thing. I think sometimes I struggle with feeling like I’m “not gay enough” because I’m definitely attracted to people of my same gender, and I haven’t ruled out the possibility of being attracted to other genders, but sometimes it seems like people think that if you’re not up for the sex part of the relationship then you’re just pretending. It’s definitely a subject that needs more awareness and education.
I agree, it’s very nice to have some representation! It would be fantastic if there were some autostraddle articles purely on asexual experiences though, even just an asexuality 101 article for the baby aces and allies :)
I agree. I think technically I am a baby ace, though I think I would really like to write an article about it. Writing and asexuality awareness are two of my passions, and I’d love to combine them. It’s be nice to have articles from the perspectives of asexual people who fall differently on the spectrum and have different romantic orientations, too–like someone demisexual or asexual panromantic, or asexual aromantic, or gray-asexual grayromantic.
I totally agree!! I’d also be interested in hearing opinions on the intersection between (a)sexual orientation and gender identity, because all of my ace friends and I aren’t particularly attached to any gender identity and often identify as agender or genderfluid – I was wondering if this is common in the ace community or if my friends and I are outliers…
I want to hear everyone’s experiences! I hope there are many aces like you who are willing to write articles!
I have little talent for writing myself, but I’d be willing to help give ideas/edit articles you (or any other ace) write!
So true Juliet, those people who experience this as their way of being and relating are marginalized consistently. Thanks for coming out and more people need to. As a massage therapist healer I believe we need to be more in touch with our bodies and that a narrow focus on sex is reductive
I fully expect there to be multiple vagicians at next years A-Camp talent show.
Oof that barista advice. Entering the Just Hangin’ Out Lounge of Doom prolongs uncertainty and adds risk, too. What if the person asked out on this weird preliminary nondate is straight or otherwise under the impression that she’s just making a new friend (def. not the fun Angel Haze kind of friend)? Putting somebody in the position of realizing that a casual hangout has sexual undertones is a pretty crappy move. I can’t see how this is a braver or safer alternative to just making the damn Tegan and Sara joke. Thoughts?
I wouldn’t say outright that asking to hang out with someone you have a crush on has ‘sexual undertones’. Romantic undertones, sure, but that doesn’t have to make for a creepy, I-think-about-you-every-night-when-I-go-to-sleep vibe.
I’ve sometimes been asked to hang out by people who I discovered were interested in me when I was not, and as long as they were respectful (as in, didn’t try to field my interest by attempting sudden body contact), it didn’t feel like treason of a budding friendship or something.
I cannot explain how much I appreciate the article on Bisexuality. I went to pride this past weekend and had to answer some of these awful questions. We just love the person, not the gender. I can’t fathom why that’s SO difficult for people to understand :-/
Dr. Jocelyn Elders, who is amazing, also said that masturbation should be taught with sex ed, as I recall.