NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Forgets How To Talk To People

Feature image of Izel the Alpha and Puppy Chulo in Crash Pad Series episode 289. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Cinnamon Maxxine and Amani Luxe

Cinnamon Maxxine and Amani Luxe in Crash Pad Series

Words! Wondering how to say ’em around other people again? Here are some tips, such as for when you have to do a fake laugh, get interrupted, or are stuck listening to a story in excruciating and exacting detail:

“This can almost certainly be expected in the coming months, since none of us have had any real practice in talking to people other than our closest friends and partners, who put up with our proclivity toward pumping stories up with silly little details. A long-winded, overly detailed anecdote typically includes entire transcribed conversations […] In ‘good’ storytelling, these conversations are shortened, and irrelevant details about what color hairband Anna was wearing, for example, are left out.

It will take time for everyone to get used to telling normal stories again, which will make social interaction kind of terrible for a while, but that’s OK; it will end! Until then, you can use all the extra time a given story takes to practice saying, ‘totally’ and ‘whoa’ at the right intervals.”

And since the pandemic is still very much ongoing and in-person parties are a fantastic dream still divorced from the present reality, here’s how to sabotage your zoom call with fake technical issues if you’re not ready to whip out a solid “totally” just yet.

April Flores and Milcah Halili

April Flores and Milcah Halili in Crash Pad episode 234

If daylight savings time is still messing you up, here’s how to get your sleep back on track.

Here’s how astrology is impacting your sex and love life right now.

Don’t break up over dinner.

What’s your attachment style?

If you’re having anal, consider: the lube shooter.

Is pube oil actually good?

Byron DuBois and Daizy Blaze

Byron DuBois and Daizy Blaze in Crash Pad Series episode 296

What will happen when we can all touch?:

“But as several million new people are inoculated each day, there is a palpable sense that touching and being touched will not be a solo act much longer. Each restriction lifted — restaurants can now have 50 percent occupancy, music venues will open in April, you can go to a movie theater — forces us to weigh what we’re psychologically ready to let back in. Sensitivities will be heightened, and I wonder how our excitement will affect our awareness of other people’s touch tolerance; will we be able to read signals as well as we had, or will we all be awkward and fumbling, unsure and hesitant? When the time comes, will we even know what to do anymore?”


Before you go! It takes funding to keep this publication by and for queer women and trans people of all genders running every day. And A+ members keep the majority of our site free for everyone. Still, 99.9% of our readers are not members. A+ membership starts at just $4/month. If you’re able to, will you join A+ and keep Autostraddle here and working for everyone?

Join A+

Carolyn Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Carolyn has written 1107 articles for us.

2 Comments

  1. I never bought the specific fur brand pube oil, but I’ve used just argan or jojoba before. Any oil that’s good and safe for hair and skin will work. It feels nice but didn’t actually soften my hair there at all even with regular use, so ymmv, but also totally possible to do without spending a lot if you’re interested.

  2. Post vaccine life im least looking forward to?
    That Lesbians are gonna be SO CAUTIOUS and SO ANXIOUS and SO ANNOYING. As a single person IM NOT READY FOR THE UNCERTAINTY-not of myself but of the hemming/hawing/ anxiety of queer women in general that makes me want to tear out all my hair and start a mean girl band EVEN ON A NON PANDEMIC DAY.

    Like straights are going to be getting all the fun and Im going to get stupid texts like “Im so sorry I think youre so hot and fun but my ex Amelia came back and we have had contact already and Im just not ready to touch anyone new” and then Ill scream so ferally that Ill turn back into a plankton and swim away-get eaten by a fish and never have to date women again.

    Damn women need therapy soooo bad-but like good therapy and not online therapy so they can weaponize therapy words to ruin your life.

Contribute to the conversation...

Yay! You've decided to leave a comment. That's fantastic. Please keep in mind that comments are moderated by the guidelines laid out in our comment policy. Let's have a personal and meaningful conversation and thanks for stopping by!