No Filter: Evan Rachel Wood Is a Muppet IRL

Hello everyone, welcome to another week of surveying the world of queer celebrity Instagram. It’s been a weird week; Kristen Stewart apparently showed off her toned torso and Ewan McGregor’s daughters are both bisexual I guess? We’re all doing fine. Go get yourself a latte.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BwkhiQIgV_u/

This is what it would look like if you were on a beach chair, staring down at your girlfriend Janelle Monáe.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bwf6B-Ig58f/

And this is what it would look like if she got up to get you a drink.

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Hella thirsty

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This is what Hayley Kiyoko would look like if Janelle got her that drink instead.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bwi_i1GBciK/

This is what it would look like if all my dreams came true at once.

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🥚🐣🐥🐰

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OK so! A commenter asked me about the possibility of Emily Hampshire and Teddy Geiger breaking up. Honestly, I’M NOT 100% SURE – they haven’t posted about each other at all lately?

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Generally speaking.

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BUT THEN another commenter informed me that they recently saw Teddy Geiger’s very sexy profile on Tinder the other day, so all bets are off.

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Witness protection.

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Gaby Dunn has gone full sea punk.

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🗼

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I have never enjoyed photos from someone else’s vacation quite as much as I’m enjoying photos from Stephanie Beatriz’s Japanese vacation.

I’m so glad there was finally a collaboration between Sesame Street and the cast of Westworld, because so many toddlers who are currently learning to read are also deeply into sexy cowboy robots?

I’ll very happily deal with a muppet Evan Rachel Wood. Or rather, a second, much smaller muppet Evan Rachel Wood.

I’M STILL DEALING WITH BABY SAMIRA WILEY. Samira Wiley’s birthday happens all year long.

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Stef

Stef Schwartz is a founding member and the self-appointed Vapid Fluff Editor at Autostraddle.com. She currently resides in New York City, where she spends her days writing songs nobody will ever hear and her nights telling much more successful musicians what to do. Follow her on twitter and/or instagram.

Stef has written 464 articles for us.

10 Comments

  2. Love how baby Samira Wiley is looking DIRECTLY at the camera. She knew how to work it even as an infant.

  6. 1. I will be DEVASTATED if Emily Hampshire and Teddy Geiger broke up, this is Cameron Esposito/Rhea Butcher all over again.

    2. I can’t get over how Samira Wiley’s adorable face hasn’t changed AT ALL, I could immediately tell that baby was going to grow up to be a lesbian heartthrob.

    • To be fair Cameron and Rhea still, seem to be friends as they host their show together and both are always at the same event from the looks of things. So, at the very least let’s hope it’s that. Also, I think one has to be on tinder select to see the celebs, influencers, and really good looking people.

  8. I think Emily and Teddy most definitely broke up and it breaks my heart.
    I mean last week Emily posted the photo of Teddy but she deleted it since. I wonder what happened and if it’s true when will they announce it? Ugh.

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