Meet the Proud Pervs Behind Bedroom Besties, a New Gender-Inclusive Sex Toy Company

feature image via Bedroom Besties
It’s Masturbation May! Once again, we’re publishing a sticky handful of articles on solo pleasure-seeking. And speaking of pleasure, there’s no better time to purchase a sex toy from a gender-inclusive, kink-positive sex toy retailer like Bedroom Besties. Scroll to the bottom of the article for a discount code!

Sometimes shopping online for a sex toy can feel like shopping for a kitchen appliance. The descriptions are vague, the photos look sterile, and the dimensions feel meaningless when you can’t see the product in action. But that’s not the case at Bedroom Besties, a new online sex toy retailer created with queer and trans pleasure (and perversion) in mind.

Berry, Ethel, and Arch — three “sex-obsessed” friends — launched the Bedroom Besties website in January. “We all saw a gap in how sex toys were sold to trans and queer folks,” Berry says. “We realized we could fill that hole — pun fully intended.”

If you browse the Bedroom Besties’ website (which is definitely NSFW, btw), you’ll find an array of sex toys for folks of all genders. Many of those toys have accompanying photos of hot, naked queers demonstrating how the toys work on their bits and bods. This isn’t a new idea — other sex toy retailers like Mr. S Leather share explicit images in their online stores — but those retailers typically center the bodies and interests of cis gay men. Bedroom Besties’ photos reflect a broader spectrum of queer and trans bodies. This marketing choice is partially for the eye candy (“Who doesn’t love to shop while turned on?” Ethel says), but also, it’s practical.

“Sex toys aren’t always intuitive in how they work or who they work on. We want to showcase the various ways toys fit on trans bodies and during queer sex,” says Arch, a Bedroom Besties co-founder and former Autostraddle writer (!!!). Eventually, Bedroom Besties plans to have photos and demo videos accompanying every toy they sell.

The educational smut isn’t the only unique aspect of Bedroom Besties’ website. The retailer ditches the industry’s typical bashful euphemisms and markets toys using explicit language — words like “fucking” and “cumming” abound.

“We use explicit language because we have explicit content, and we want to be upfront about the fact that being pornographic is part of the Bedroom Besties mission,” Ethel says. “We are talking to the many horny freaks out there who, like us, long for the obscene and titillating content made by trans and queer people for trans and queer people.”

Using explicit language across all online platforms also helps Bedroom Besties stay true to the company’s ideals, even when nudity restrictions and algorithms force them to tone down their porny pics.

“We find it really frustrating to have to censor our sexuality to be seen, especially since sex is literally the point of a sex shop,” Arch says. “So while we may not be able to share our uncensored photos on social media, we can at least slip a little dirty talk in.”

If you’re planning to buy a new sex toy (or your first ever sex toy!) this Masturbation May and you’re feeling lost, Bedroom Besties can help you out with a free, fifteen-minute phone consultation. “If you don’t know where to start on your sex toy journey, if you’re unsure what might work best for your bod, or if you want to discuss any specific concerns you have about sex toys, these free phone consultations are a good place to start,” Arch says. Shy shoppers, fear not — the company also answers questions via email or Instagram DM.

Curious about the founders’ favorite toys? Here are their top recommendations:

Berry: The We-Vibe Melt is my ride or die, desert island toy. It’s primarily for use on the clit, but it can also feel great against nipples! The suction is strong and ultra-focused, and the slim shape makes it ideal for fitting between two bodies or using in combination with an internal toy. And it’s got a super long battery life, so as someone who never remembers to charge my toys, that’s a huge plus.

Ethel: The Spareparts Joque Harness is both comfortable and provocative. As a switch, I wanted something that could fit my body and a variety of other people’s bodies as well. The velcro adjustable waistband holds everything in place for all your favorite positions. It also tightens around your thighs and is easy to tighten in the midst of a long session of play. Then you can just wash it with the rest of your laundry. If you are thinking about purchasing a strap, this is my number one recommendation.

Arch: Okay, I’ll be talking about this dildo until I die, but I absolutely love the Shaft Model Dildos! There’s a variety of styles, sizes, and colors to pick from. Not only are they dual-density, soft silicone dildos, but they’re perfect for ‘pack and play,’ if you want to take the show on the road!

Bedroom Besties is offering Autostraddle readers a discount code to help you slut it up solo or in sexy company. Enter “AUTOSLUTS” at checkout for 20% off your purchase.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Ro White

Ro White is a Chicago-based writer and sex educator. Follow Ro on Twitter.

Ro has written 105 articles for us.


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