Lady Gaga’s Q Magazine Cover: Strap-On “Dick,” Stripped Down Feelings

PRESIDENT GAGA:
Lady Gaga appeared on the cover of Q Magazine wearing a strap-on dildo; explaining to the on-set crew, “I want to wear a dick strapped to my vagina. We all know one of the biggest talking points of the year was that I have a dick, so why not give them what they want? I want to comment on that in a beautiful, artistic way. How I wanna show it. And I want to call this piece Lady Gaga Dies Hard.”

The story by Sylvia Patterson is fantastic and includes some really choice soundbytes:

“When a guy says, Oh I fucked all these chicks this week, there’s a high-five and giggling. But when a woman does it and it’s publicised or she’s open about her sexuality or she’s free, or liberated, it’s, Oh, she must have a dick. There’s a threat. I also carry myself onstage in a masculine way and sing in a low register. This is not out of nowhere, right?”

via www.lady-gaga.net

Patterson points out one of our favorite things about Lady Gaga:

“Everything Lady Gaga does is for a convention-boggling reason. She’s the world’s only female pop icon who delibirately presents herself as significantly less attractive than she is, whether that’s via comedy-ghoul make-up or dressing up like a pile of Post-It notes.”

Reagarding Gaga’s Fame Monster album cover — Gaga wanted to be crying blood, her record label wanted something “beautiful.” Gaga’s reaction:

“The last thing any young person needs is another photograph of a woman rubbing her glistening tits, enjoying life, because that’s not how we fucking feel.”

About mid-way through the article the tone shifts a bit, as Patterson explains how the photo shoot begins to unravel over a series of ‘artistic conundrums’ including how to light both the groin and the face, and Gaga’s sudden self-consciousness about her “weak chin” and concern that different lighting concepts make her eyes look dead or her face look yellow.

Soon, her invincible demeanour dissolves: “I’m stressed,” she frowns, head down, arms tight around her chest, looking and probably feeling physically vulnerable. She retreats to her dressing room, only to emerge several minutes later in tears and wearing enormous shades. Apparently, she has just received a phone call from Interscope about the marketing of Fame Monster, which has upset her. She says she has to elave, and hopes the shoot can be rescheduled. “I’m just not in a good place right now,” she says.

Over the next month, lengthy negotations to rearrange the shoot take place. Gaga’s management will only use their own photographer. Q doesn’t want this. Neither party budges and a stalemate is reached. The photo shoot isn’t rescheduled.

via www.lady-gaga.net

The last section of the article, following the description of the photoshoot issues, seems to suggest there’s been a bit of a crack in the empire as of late evidenced by weeping during concerts and passing out from exhaustion; a result of Gaga being overworked and exhausted. They quote DJ Lady Starlight, Gaga’s early collaborator from Lady Gaga’s Starlight Revue [and the DJ for our first Rodeo Disco party!]:

The speed of her ongoing global success, notes her friend Lady Starlight today, is “completely unprecedented, and the industry is working her to the death, everyone’s trying to cash in.” As the last producer to work with Michael Jackson, RedOne has seen the madness up close. “This reminds me of the Thriller period,” he surmises. “even me, I get crazy emails, how Gaga and I have changed lives. People are feeling this emptiness and they feel like she describes their emotions. People are becoming obsessed with her, you know?”

But Lady Gaga is far from your average pop star. Not everything she does succeeds, her creative ambitions sometimes too unfathomably beserk, but when she does, this is true pop genius at work.

The piece ends with this fantastic quote:

“But you don’t really want to get to know me or photograph my soul, you want to do some version of what you think I am and then expose something that you believe is hidden. When the truth is, me and my big fucking dick are all out there for you. But I’m not angry, I’m laughing. The joke is not on me, it’s on you.”


GAY TV?
“Growing up I loved the shows on this list, but even as a wee one I knew they weren’t what they claimed. All off these shows focused on gay couples who (for some reason) weren’t allowed to be gay on TV, so ridiculous back stories and ludicrous plot twists were introduced to explain same-sex couples raising children, living together, or being psychiatrists.”

MY SO-CALLED LIFE:
Presented without controversy: Jordan Catalano and Angela Chase Reunite. (and by that we mean Jared Leto & Claire Danes obviously) (@fablife)

LOHAN:
Lindsay Lohan was in LA last night. She visited Bardot nightclub where her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson was the house deejay. (@ontd)

MTV:
If there was any doubt left in your mind that MTV was officially done with creating any semblence of progressive or intelligent content (aside from the occasional True Life Marathon), it has been said:

“We’re pushing Generation X out,” Toffler said. “We’re slaves to our different audiences, for MTV that’s millennials, who are vastly different than Generation X; they’re definitely less cynical — they’re more civic minded.”

As evidence of the fine taste of this benevolent new generational breed, Toffler cited … “Jersey Shore.”

Since when did “cynical” = “stupid”?

TOP MODEL:
What happened to Yoanna House? One of our favorites from Season One is looking, as TMZ puts it, a bit “Real Housewife of New Jersey.”


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Riese

Marie Lyn Bernard, aka Riese, is an award-winning writer, blogger, journalist, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in the midwest, lost her mind in New York City and is currently making it work in California. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better, The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image and The Hazards of Being Female," "Dirty Girls," and "The Best American Erotica of 2007," magazines including Nylon, Marie Claire, GO, Curve, Interlude, and CollegeBound, and all over the web including nerve.com, Jezebel, Queerty, Emily Books and OurChart (RIP). She was the recapper for The L Word Online and host of Showtime’s Lezberado and her personal blog has earned many dubious honors including Best Personal Blog 2008. Riese has spoken about blogging, community-building, feminism, cyberculture and sexuality at places like BlogHer, Yale, New York University, The University of Chicago and The Museum of Sex. A graduate of the University of Michigan, Interlochen Arts Academy and The Olive Garden's week-long training intensive; she enjoys eating foods, having big ideas, reading books & talking to her stuffed dog, Tinkerbell. Also, she's Jewish. Follow her smokin’ hot adventures on twitter. Contact: riese[at]autostraddle.com

Riese has written 2896 articles for us.

31 Comments

  1. guess what, world. that photo of claire danes and jared leto is EXACTLY what a photo of angela chase and jordan catalano would look like all these years later. jordan would TOTALLY have that mohawk.

    bet he’s just wondering where tito is.

  2. “The last thing any young person needs is another photograph of a woman rubbing her glistening tits, enjoying life, because that’s not how we fucking feel.”

    I think I need to own this issue. Ah, Gaga, thank you so much for being so quotable. It makes her a lot easier to proselytize :D

  3. My friend who I’m staying with for the holiday was talking to me about her work for a few minutes before I realized it and finally said “I’m sorry, I haven’t been listening to you. I was looking at a picture of Lady Gaga with a dick.”

    I mean, I’m sure her day was interesting or whatever, but can anything compete with that?

    • could that be someone’s name or the name of a place? “Afart”? As part of the passage to India? Because I feel like farts are not part of anyone’s passage to India, or if they are, they aren’t like something you talk about. I actually can’t believe I am speaking on this topic as it is my least favorite! omg must stop

      I also wanted to say that Q magazine is British, otherwise I would feel guilty about transcribing some of it because we could just go to the mag store and buy it which is better for the publishing industry, but we can’t, because we live in America, with our tea and our bad health care and stuff. And freedom too i guess.

      • I’m thinking it’s a person, but no idea. But that was definitely the second thought to go through my head. The first was “Oh my!”
        Also, I appreciate the transcription and promise to go on a hunt for Q Magazine, so that you can continue to remain guiltless. (Which I totally understand, because I to tend to stress out about proper citation like WHOA.)

      • I’ll be in Paris in a couple weeks and that will be my chance to buy the magazine. The distribution infopoint just told me where I’ll find it. Anyone want copies? Otherwise I can scan and send.

        Btw, I would assume, if you can find it in Paris why not New York?

  4. Given the difficulty of negotiations between her team and the magazine (“Gaga’s management will only use their own photographer. Q doesn’t want this. Neither party budges and a stalemate is reached”), I wonder if that last great quote (…”expose something that you believe is hidden”) is addressed to the magazine.

    That would sort of make sense as it’s not obvious at first sight that she’s wearing a strapon. In both photos it camouflages with the black pants. I wonder if that was Gaga’s choice or the magazine’s.

  5. Oh good, Full House was on that list of the gayest TV shows evar. My dad pointed that out to me when I was a kid and I’ve NEVER BEEN ABLE TO GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD. (Then again, he thought Timon and Pumba were gay, too.)

  6. Lady Gaga was responding to bogus Internet rumours that she was born intersex, and had physical characteristics of both sexes.

    The keyword is, “bogus.”

    However, there is a philosophy that, “Any Publicity Is Good Publicity.” This person is in the business of selling CDs and concert tickets. And the whole concept of Rock-N-Roll has always been about using sex to sell records.

    It soundsly like she finds the rumoursto be offensive and stupid, but sees the opportunity to captalise on the random publicity.

    Lady Gaga doesn’t have dick, and never has. Although she has a gay-scene type following of fans. And she is willing to “Go Along With The Gag,” about being intersex, if it helps her earn more money.

    Especially since, a couple years from now… Her music career will most likely be forgotten.

  7. “But you don’t really want to get to know me or photograph my soul, you want to do some version of what you think I am and then expose something that you believe is hidden. When the truth is, me and my big fucking dick are all out there for you. But I’m not angry, I’m laughing. The joke is not on me, it’s on you.”

    She’s pretty vulgar, but she actually sounds pretty smart too. I think I can like her.
    I know she’s talented, but her whole persona puts me off. But then I look at that new girl Kesha, and tell myself that I would rather have Gaga then her.

  8. I am in Paris and I bought the magazine today. Maybe everyone had assumed this, but the strapon is INSIDE the pants. That’s why it’s hard to see it.

    There’s also a picture of Lady Gaga surrounded by paparazzi while she’s busy TAKING PICTURES of them taking pictures of her. GENIUS.

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