Welcome to the fourth recap of the third season of The L Word: Generation Q, brought to you by the same network that brought you the original L Word, a show about a super-fan of a lesbian tennis star who aggressively pursued a romantic relationship with said tennis star, moved into her apartment, killed her cat, got engaged to her, began planning their wedding as the world’s first corporate sponsored lesbian wedding and then left her for Melissa Rivers.

This week’s episode brought us the best of times and it also brought us the worst of times. It was mostly really really wonderful but there were some scenes I didn’t love so I would like to warn you off the bat that in this L Word: Generation Q Episode 304 Recap, “Last To Know,” I have a LOT OF OPINIONS! Fortunately, I no longer have covid, although my girlfriend still does have covid. Laughing loving coughing breathing coughing dreaming. You know the drill.


Well, it’s spooky season in Los Angeles, which we know because the lyrics to the episode’s opening track are “it’s spooky season.” We see skeletons baking in front yards, doors decked out with pumpkin lanterns and, finally, at the Dana Fairbanks Memorial Tavern, some seasonal decor in the background of what appears to be a brunch date between Sophie, Finley and Dani. Before Dani arrives, Sophie warns Finley that Dani’s likely in a delicate spiral of depression.

Sophie and Finley sitting at the table in Danas talking
And then I was like “Dani, if you don’t stop listening to Phoebe Bridgers you’re going to kill yourself”

But the Dani that walks through the door to Dana’s is in no such dark place. She is radiant, her eyebrows are full, her pants are high-waisted, her midriff is exposed, her separates are coordinated and she’s jazzed that her friend Roxy’s coming to town any minute now to join her in “going hard” for Halloween.

Dani walking into Dana's looking joyful
Hey besties guess who found a Xanax in their nightstand!!!

Sophie explains to Finley that Roxy is Dani’s “bad friend.” You know the bad friend!

Sophie: Last time [Roxy] was here you guys ended up in an orgy in San Luis Obispo.
Dani: That was actually a leather party in the valley and it was fun!

I love this for Dani. While Finley, who’s nailed a few jokes in this convo already, is describing how she herself is generally the “fun friend,” Roxy arrives earlier than anticipated. Dani screams. Roxy calls Dani “D-Bag”? I’m calling security.

Roxy screaming at Dani
TRICK OR TREATTTTT !!!!!!

Roxy’s played by Paula Andrea Placido, a queer actor you may recognize from playing Hannah’s hot subletter in Hacks and Debbie’s hot bartender in Shameless.


The sweet buzz of an electric toothbrush ushers us into Alice’s boudoir, where my favorite Alice outfit of the season thus far is so cute that Taylor — in a gauzy Aerosmith tee and joggers with adorable bedhead — is immediately intimidated by Alice’s seemingly effortless togetherness, referring to herself as a “Walking Dead extra.”

Apparently Taylor and Alice have been doing the horizontal mambo for three days and now Alice wants to decorate her house for Halloween on the day of Halloween so they can stay inside and watch horror movies.

Alice talking to Taylor
Okay so I know it’s a little bit niche but I was thinking what if we dressed up as Rockford Peaches???
Taylor smiling at Alice
I’m not sure if that’s quite as niche as you think, buddy

Alice dashes to the kitchen to make Taylor some coffee. “Do you have any —” Taylor begins before letting the final words “contact solution” fade into the ether. Taylor, Alice wears glasses so therefore Alice must also wear contacts and therefore definitely has contact solution!


Meanwhile at the Shess Shack, Shane has transformed Peppermint Patty into Dolly Parton and she looks fantastic. Also Shane made breakfast. Unfortunately, Shane did not give Patty a spoon!!! How is she supposed to eat without her spoon?????!!!

Patty dressed up as Dolly looking in the mirror, Shane smiling
What do you think, you’ll be Dolly Parton and I’ll be kd Lang and we’ll record “Honky Tonk Angels” live at the Hollywood Bowl

Tess is unmoved by Shane’s costuming skills and ignores her questions about their dinner date that evening because she’s too absorbed with her own business — such as a meeting with the contractor for ill-advised Bar #2, taking her Mom for a walk around the reservoir and remembering what her Mom wore for Halloween last year.

Shane holding an apple watching Tess and Patty at the table
Yoo-hoo, you have 90 more seconds to acknowledge my existence or I am going to cheat on you

Maribel is an avocado! Micah is not an avocado, even though Maribel wanted him to be an avocado. They’re gonna go meet the “only trans and non-binary parents that [they] know” and Micah thinks he won’t be able to ask serious questions about raising and birthing children if he is dressed like an avocado.

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Maribel in avocado costume
WHERE’S MY OTHER AVOCADO HALF
Micah frustrated
Can’t I just be toast

We then return to the sullied unhallowed halls of California University, where we’re meeting Angie’s roommate, Bella, not to be confused with Bella Swan or The Bellas from Pitch Perfect. Bella has a big announcement: she just got her first ever paid gig as an actor and she needs Angie to attend her performance that very evening! Angie lies that she’s gotta study and can’t make it, which means she’s obviously hanging out with her teacher/boyfriend.

Bella talking to Angie
Wait didn’t they already do this storyline in Grown-ish except the teacher was being played by your friend Shane?
Angie with a headscarf and headphones on talking to her roomamte
Did that … end well for them do you remember

Indeed, we are then treated to some kind of academic situation where Angie’s pitching a project and then the class ends and she approaches Hendrix Hendrix with remarkable confidence and yanks on his shirt. “How do you always smell so good?” he says to my daughter Angie while I ride a scooter into a lake used as a dumping site for toxic chemicals and whisper as I drown, it was my time to go.


We cut to a Halloween party chock-full of tiny humans, aka children, where Maribel and Micah have arrived. They’ve barely crossed the threshold when a child vomits on Micah’s shoe and is immediately swept up into the arms of Maribel’s work friend, Reese (played by non-binary actor Armand Fields, who you may recognize from Queer as Folk and/or Work in Progress), and they are both in dinosaur onesies which is really cute! Also I have never heard someone speak my own name in a scripted television program before and it’s very strange!

Rhys in a dinosaur suit holding their kid
Finders Keepers!!

…and then AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN we meet Reese’s partner. Max.

Micah and Maribel looking up at Max
How the hell did they convince you to come back
Max looking at Maribel and Micah
Sometimes the only way out is through

For those of you who are new to the program, Max Sweeny (played by Daniel Sea) is a character from the original series:

Jenny and Max sitting on a couch
Jenny and Max in Episode 304 of “The L Word”

Max served as an introduction to trans masculinity for a huge swath of mid-aughts queers, which was good in some ways but also bad in many ways because the stories they wrote for him often perpetuated dangerous and insidious stereotypes about trans people and also were very othering and sad!

Daniel spoke to Drew at length about their experience on the show in 2021, and I’m just so grateful that a space was made for his character to come back and exist and be held and honored and treated with respect and dignity and given a full life and a happy ending, to be a trans elder for Micah. I teared up for all of that! (Also, Drew interviewed Daniel about this episode and you can read her interview with Daniel Sea right here!)


Um so, Angie and her teacher are in costumes and that makes Angie think nobody will recognize either of them and therefore they can hold hands.

Angie dressed in her Halloween costume holding hands with Hendrix in his
Come on, let me show you the art installation Jodi made for my mother

He says his novel was a flop and nobody read it but of course Angie has been listening to it on audiobook when she could be reading something else, like Sisterhood is Powerful. They happen upon a haunted house and Angie’s dying to head in and convinces this man to come with her. Hopefully a ghoul will leap out at him and whisper in his ear “don’t date your student” and then a witch will cackle like “hahaha you think your novel’s bad wait for your disciplinary hearing hahahahaha”


Well, the Dana Fairbanks Memorial Tavern is full of celebrants in resplendent Halloween costumes. But Dani, despite claiming earlier that she intended to “go hard” for Halloween, has opted for the world’s most basic Halloween costume: a sexy cat. Roxy is dressed as a person in a white muscle tee with a bunch of white makeup on her face. (I think she’s a vampire, I noted fangs later in the episode.) Despite their collective failures to summon suitable costumes, they will be shortly tearing into Sophie’s very creative hand-made costume! But first, Roxy comments on Shane being very hot, Dani says Shane’s got a serious girlfriend, and Sophie mutters “she’d probably sleep with you anyhow.”

Dani and Roxy at the bar in their costumes looking at Shane
Wait isn’t that the girl from those Hugo Boss underwear ads I plastered my locker with in high school

Finley says no way, Shane and Tess are basically married, as if cheating is not a very popular activity for married people. Sophie leans in closer to her bartender beau and says she “kinda saw something” the other day and Finley brushes her off as absolutely bananas. Finley, by the way, is looking fantastic in what I am going to assume is a James Dean in “Rebel Without a Cause” costume:

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Finley with her mouth partially open
C’mon toss me a Junior Mint, it’s Halloween

Dani and Roxy get sent drinks from a stranger and Sophie’s curious why she’s been overlooked for free beverages — yes she has a girlfriend but strangers don’t know that — which her friends blame on her costume.

“Come on,” Sophie says. “Are you kidding me right now? Look at this shit right here. Look at this gangsta shit. I am raining cats and dogs! Come on, it’s funny!”

Sophie smiling in her costume
Like… y’all know just wearing a tank top and being hot isn’t a costume right?

Sophie spent all day at Ross making that costume but her alleged friends say that “less is more” as they lead her into the back of the bar to ruin what I think is a masterful work of design that belongs in the display case of a local 4-H art show.


We then return to the Kids Halloween Party with Reese and Max and TBH I have known about Daniel Sea returning to this program for MONTHS and it has been KILLING ME to keep it a secret so I’m just really glad we are all here together finally.

Max smiling at Reese as they embrace on the sofa
Actuallllllly, I know something SUPER interesting about lobsters

So, in Daniel Sea’s 2021 interview with us, they did talk specifically about the pregnancy storyline in Season Six, and the show’s election “to leave Max pregnant and abandoned and never to have the resolution, comfort, and joy that could have been.”

Later on in the interview, they elaborate:

I didn’t even realize the joke was on me, because I just kept being so earnest like “oh my God how cool he’s going to be pregnant! He’s going to have a baby! That’s so cool! He will have a bountiful life!” Then all of a sudden they have him dressed up like Willy Wonka and everyone’s making fun of him. It felt extremely confusing and awful. I didn’t expect it to go this way. I kept being hopeful. I was still naïve about that world.

Now, Max does have a bountiful life: he notes the “gay cis guy” who left him pregnant and alone who turned out to be “the worst,” and they explain that two of their other kids were Reese’s from their first marriage and then they adopted Phoenix from foster care. Micah asks about the names they use for themselves as parents — Reese is Damba, Max is Nibby, and:

Max: Yeah we just sort of figured — Dad’s just a sound? I mean the meaning is just made up.
Maribel: That’s really funny because for the longest time I thought “Dad” was just a person my Mom made up, so!
Reese: Same, honey… but girl you gotta get rid of that shit before the baby comes. Trust me, it’ll hit you when you least expect it.

Maribel and Max smiling
Actually yeah, she does seem to think dating a therapist is a good substitution for going to therapy

Reese and Max talk about how helpful therapy was for them as individuals and as parents in a relationship, how it helped them get on the same page and ensure they had similar values. Micah is on board for this line of thinking but Maribel immediately withdraws.


Um, so we go back to the haunted house and Angie and Hendrix are laughing with each other but I can’t remember what they said ’cause my head was between my knees. I want better for my best girl! They’ve just shared a PUBLIC KISS when Bella appears — turns out her gig is working the Haunted House. Angie brushes off Bella’s notation of her kissing a man who has apparently managed to successfully hide from the rest of this conversation, but Bella doesn’t buy it.

Angie smiling in her costume
I mean, we kissed before I even knew he was gonna be my teacher so that’s okay, right?
Bella looking like a zombie talking to Angie
No

Angie returns to Hendrix, who asks if it’s awkward that she’s his teacher. YES SIR IT IS!?!


In the steamy backroom of the Dana Fairbanks Memorial Tavern, Tess is calling Shane to announce a snag in their dinner plans for the evening — the agency sent a new nurse, Victor, instead of their usual nurse, Gloria, and Tess refuses to leave her mother alone with a nurse she just met.

Shane on the phone with Tess
Look I don’t know why the nurse is holding a machete and is wearing a leather mask but also I don’t need to know just get your shoes on and meet me for dinner

Victor stands awkwardly in the background while Tess talks about him, wondering if he’s about to make $20 an hour to play Subway Surfers on his iPhone. Surely this can’t be the first time Gloria’s needed a day or a night off, and if Tess is the kind of daughter who ditches date night ’cause she can’t trust a new nurse to watch her mother for 2-3 hours — which is fine! — then she is not in a position to be opening a second small business, let alone the most risky and time-consuming genre of small business, a lesbian bar!


In the bathroom of the Dana Fairbanks Memorial Tavern, Dani and Roxy rip the sleeves off Sophie’s jacket, tear off the plush cats and dogs, and belt it.

Dani and Roxy smiling at their handiwork
Now your costume is just as stupid as ours!
Sophie in her sleeveless
Thanks so much guys

While Roxy’s in the bathroom stall, Sophie convinces Dani that it’s obvious Roxy is into Dani and likely would take the train to tuna town with her that very evening. So when Roxy exits, monologuing about other parties where they might find sexual “prospects,” Dani interrupts with a much better idea: going home to bang.  “I’m halfway out the door, baby,” Roxy says, and they are.


Meanwhile in the Dana Fairbanks Memorial Tavern backroom, Shane’s feeling surly and is texting Ivy to meet up. Overcome by the urge to brood, she pours and consumes some straight bourbon like William Fucking Adama in his quarters stressing about the future of humanity. Finley pops into the backroom to make sure she’s good. Shane says she is. Finley’s unconvinced.

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Finley looking over Shane's shoulder as she drinks
Hey I was thinking we both spend a lot of time back here so maybe we should hire another bartender

Parenting talk got too real for Maribel and even though it’s only eight P.M she would like to go home because she’s tired and doesn’t wanna be “interrogated” by this kind queer couple!

Maribel talking to Micah
What if instead of going to couple’s therapy we just marathoned the Showtime series “Couples Therapy”?

Micah’s not ready to go, he’s still got questions. Maribel suggests Google and Micah says he can’t really google these kinds of questions. Probably one of them is “who killed Jenny.” So Maribel heads home to be a solo avocado and Micah remains.


Over at Chez Alice, scary movie night is underway. There is popcorn and Alice is wearing a cute sweater and Taylor’s wearing the same shirt she slept in instead of borrowing a cute shirt of Alice’s which’d look really adorable!!!!

Taylor covering her eyes, ALice making a face, with the popcorn bucket on sofa watching cinema
Tell me when the heterosexual sex scene is over

Alice thinks Taylor’s sleeping which forces Taylor to confess that in fact she’s unable to keep her eyes open ’cause she’s had her contacts in for 48 hours and one of them is lodged all the way up in her brain!!!!!! IT DIDN’T HAVE TO HAPPEN THIS WAY TAYLOR! Also, I think in reality, by now her eyes would’ve burned up and popped out of her head like a bird escaping a cukoo clock.

But before they can get too deep into this wacky situation, there’s a BANG from outside. They yelp! It’s a scary night in spooky season!

Alice and Taylor scared
Do you think Gigi’s out there nailing her wedding ring to my door

We then return to the Dana Fairbanks Memorial Tavern, where Shane’s dipped out into a dark alley where Ivy’s sitting in her car, waiting for her dashing hairstylist to come play hide the salami.

Shane leaning into Ivy's car window
Good evening ma’am, I know you’re here to pick someone up from the airport but we’ve really got to keep things moving so if you could just drive in circles for the rest of your life I’m sure eventually your passenger will do a flying leap into your car

But before they can make out too hard, Ivy brought Shane a present! It’s a pair of scissors with Shane’s initials on them. She can use them to stab Tess in the heart!!!!

Kehlani looking at Shane
Wanna listen to Portishead and tongue kiss? I just ate a bag of pop rocks

Ivy reaches into the backseat to clear out some baby stuff and then all of us stare at her ass for a minute.


We return to Alice’s Personal Haunted House: Alice and Taylor are sitting on the kitchen floor, Alice in a deep panic and Taylor too consumed by her optometrical issues to worry about the impending arrival of the gay Freddy Krueger vessel. It is in this spirit that Taylor boldly volunteers to scope out the scene — she can’t see, after all, so at least she’ll die in blissful ignorance while Alice makes a run for it!

Alice and Taylor sitting on the floor in her kitchen
I just really don’t think they’re gonna kill Tanya, like isn’t she supposed to be the through-line on every season?

If Alice ever felt like she needed a hero or was holding out for a hero until the end of the night, then my friends, she got just what the doctor ordered! We hear a thump and a scream and Alice rushes to the door and Taylor is right there, haunting in hand: a cackling pumpkin they themselves hung up outside earlier that same day.

“When we tell this story, we’re telling it really differently,” Alice quips.

“Oh hell no, we’re telling it just how it happened,” Taylor laughs, kissing her.

Taylor holding up the pumpkin decoration
Look somebody left a Lindsay Graham doll on our porch

Alice thanks Taylor for saving her life and Alice says “you like me” and Taylor says she does — but she’s still weirded out by who Alice is: Alice eats nachos without getting a crumb on her white pants and she never gets food stuck in her teeth! It’s odd to hear Alice described like this, maybe ’cause we knew Alice when she was a sweet summer child practicing how to tell Gabby Deveaux to stop walking all over her feelings.

Alice: “I can show you who I am, I just didn’t know if we were, you know, there.”
Taylor: “Yeah, exactly. I mean, I didn’t know either. But… are we?”
Alice: “You gonna let me take that contact out of your eye?”

It’s time for these two to get kinky with a little open-eye surgery!


Back at the Shess Shack, Tess is watching her mother because she’s still upset that the agency sent a different nurse. I think she is making her own life harder than it has to be, but can’t see that sometimes an action that feels incredibly selfless can actually be selfish.

Tess on her phone
Sorry what I’m busy watching the first three seconds of like 100 tiktoks in a row

But Peppermint Patty doesn’t want Tess helping her to the bathroom, she wants Victor. In fact, she’d rather be in a nursing home than have Tess carrying her to the bathroom.”I don’t want you, I want Victor!” Peppermint Patty yells.

Peppermint Patty lying in bed
Victor, my daughter is buying a second bar and I think it’s a bad idea

“I know what I want and it’s not this, Theresa,” Patty says.


Back at the Dana Fairbanks Memorial Tavern, Finley’s counting cash when Sophie slips up behind her to give her a sexy squeeze in her sexy Sleeveless Weather Girl outfit.

Sophie and Finey smiling at each other
I don’t have a funny caption I just think they’re cute

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Shane earlier, it’s stupid,” Sophie says, but Finley claims to have spoken to Shane who denied everything, which is a lie. Sophie says maybe Shane’s embarrassed. “Why are you doing this?” Finley asks, and by “this” she means “ruin Finley’s illusion of Shane.” It’s clear she’s decided to idolize Shane and Tess and I think this is likely wrapped up in the idea of Finley searching for role models because she lacks them in her own family but it’s not landing for me, which I’ll get into more later!

Anyhow Finley asks if Sophie also feels ashamed about what she did and this becomes a fight!

Sophie vs Finley

Lesbian Squabble #8: You’re Looking Very Shane Today
In the Ring: Finley vs. Sophie

Content:

Finley: “Is that what it felt like for you, with me?”
Sophie: “Um, yeah, I guess, I mean it still does.”
Finley: “So why do you do it?”
Sophie: “It’s not something that I do, I mean I have done it—”

Finley says Sophie cheated on someone with Dani before dating Dani, and then slept with someone while Finley was in rehab, so it’s “kind of a pattern.” She leaves out the part where Sophie cheated on Dani with Finley! That’s not Finley’s responsibility — she was single at the time — but i think if you were a participant in someone cheating on their ex, you sacrifice your right to ride a high pony about it, especially because, regarding the current matter-at-hand…

We were on a break!

Sophie hooking up with Dre while Finley was in rehab has clearly upset Finley, which is absolutely okay — but it’s not part of a cheating “pattern,” ’cause it wasn’t cheating!

Sophie: “Is that what you think about when you think about me?
Finley: “No.” [Finley pauses, thinks] “Sometimes.”
Sophie: “Wow, so this is why we’re not having sex.”
Finley: “What? What does this have to do with —”
Sophie: “All of this fucking bullshit is sitting between you and me all the time and you can’t see me, you can only see the people that I’ve fucked and the mistakes that I’ve made and then you look at me like I’m fucking crazy for following the rules that you made up. But I’m here. I’m still here, And I can’t do anything but wait for you to trust me. So tell me Finn, when are you gonna stop punishing me?”

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Who Wins? I think Sophie, that was a good little monologue there. But also Rosanny and Jacqueline win Emmys ’cause they killed the scene.


Sophie closes her tab at the bar and a girl wants to buy her a drink but Sophie declines because she has a girlfriend. Look at that! Trustworthy McTrusterson!

Sophie looking at the girl who wants to buy her a drink
Be honest would you have wanted to buy me a drink if I’d had cats and dogs sewed to my jacket

Meanwhile in the alley we’ve got ourselves a sex scene!

Shane and Ivy hooking up in the car
Sorry every screenshot from the actual sex scene was too dark

Lesbian Sexy Moment #4: Road Trip
The Players: Shane and Ivy
The Pick-up: “Don’t worry it’s just me” / “Ah, thank God it’s just you.”
And then: We’ve given the scissors, the ass has been stared at and now they are simply eating each other’s faces and fingers and Shane removes Ivy’s thong, sticks her finger in Ivy’s mouth and then drags it down and then Ivy’s got her hand pressed against the back of the foggy car while Shane’s between her legs AND THEN….

Finley walks outside to take out the trash and sees, clearly now, that Sophie was right.

Finley looking out into the night sadly
Hmm pretty sure you’re not allowed to double park in that alley

The Family Halloween Hoedown has reached its natural conclusion and Micah’s the last guest standing, still simply overcome with anxiety about parenthood. Just wait until he finds out how fun the Trying to Conceive process is!!!!

Max pointing at himself and talking
Honestly I just stood up for myself and was like, “just because everyone else in the family is dressed up like a dinosaur doesn’t mean I have to also”

Micah: “I know that we don’t really know each other but this is—”
Max: “It’s special, this.”
Micah: “Yeah, yeah, exactly. It is.”
Max: “I mean, it is for me too.”
Micah: “Really?”
Max: “Yeah, ’cause I’m the one who gets to tell you how great it’s gonna be. Your whole life. You get to reinvent everything for yourself, and be your own kind of parent, and your own kind of man. I’m excited for you.”

Micah and Max in the kitchen
Okay so Question #56 is, is it possible for a dog to accidentally eat a baby

Wow I’m so happy for them! This way that Max returned and the story he has now is absolutely a highlight of Generation Q so far, how absolutely wonderful.


Shane returns from her dally in the alley to find Finley waiting in the office … furious? Not on Tess’s behalf, really, more because somehow Finley feels personally betrayed by this. “I trusted you,” Finley admonishes. “I defended you. I just, I.. I don’t know who you are anymore! Tess is fucking perfect, man.” She says Shane and Tess made “perfect sense.” Probably when Finley looked at them, she was able to look at herself and Sophie and think, “maybe one day we too will own two bars.”

Finley yelling at Shane
You’re tearing me apart!

There are so many things about this that doesn’t track — firstly, Finley knows who Shane is. Finley was, after all, the one who hooked up with Tess the day after Tess found out her girlfriend had fucked her boss, Shane, in the backroom of their fledgling lesbian bar. And like Shane, Finley’s aware of her own flaws, which enables her to be less judgmental of others.

Secondly, even if we put that existing personality trait aside — Finley’s spent 16 months now in AA and she would’ve learned at some point that love begins with learning that all people, including ourselves, are to some extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong. And knowing that enables us all to see the futility of idolizing mortals and grasp the importance of humility. And in this case specifically Finley saw Shane drinking straight bourbon prior to her alley hook-up, and Finley surely understands the “drinking a lot to enable myself to fuck up my life” game.

All of this is just a massive missed opportunity, a throwaway outburst that I think is intended to move Shane more quickly towards regret and guilt — but they don’t need it, ’cause Max does it way more organically a few scenes later — at the expense of Finley’s growth or even simply writing a conversation that Shane could actually participate in. ‘Cause what can Shane even say to this unhinged reaction? Imagine, instead, Finley saying hey buddy, it looks like you’re in trouble and making bad choices, what’s going on with you? And her bond with Shane could deepen and shift here, instead of fracturing, and we could see how sobriety has changed not just how much Finley drinks, but how she relates to the world around her. Maybe through that conversation Finley could also get closer to realizing that the situation with Sophie, while hurtful, isn’t cheating. Because this is cheating. And that isn’t cheating. And then she could figure out what’s really wrong and what really needs repair with Sophie.

Like if we’re gonna keep doing cheating storylines, let’s wrestle as much life out of them as we can!

“I looked up to you and you’re a real fucking disappointment!” Finley yells before storming out of the joint, apparently no longer feeling the need to finish her shift. If I could’ve stormed out of the Macaroni Grill every time my manager cheated on his wife I would’ve left a lot of tables in the lurch, I’ll tell you what

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Dani and Roxy have returned to Dani’s castle in the sky to enjoy what is every lesbian’s right on this precious earth: to fuck their friend when they and their friend are finally single together for the first time.

First Roxy takes in the view from Dani’s perch atom Gotham City:

Dani rubbing Roxy's shoulders
Wow so you’re like, rich-rich, huh

And then they start kissing and it’s pretty hot and yes, Roxy is the social top but also, Dani is the top-top, and she’s taking the lead here, joking with her little tail, leading her to the couch, straddling her lap—

Dani and Roxy making out

— but then Roxy feels a poke — it’s an earring. The one Gigi lost, the one she asked about at the start of last week’s episode. Now, Dani needs to stop.

“I think I’m still in love with my ex-girlfriend,” Dani admits, her face finally breaking. She hasn’t even cried about it yet and it is just so very real and gay that Roxy was here for sex but she switches swiftly to being here for Feelings, wrapping her whole body around Dani’s whole body so Dani can cry right into her. Because that’s what hot gay friends are for!

Dani holding Roxy
We were so hot together, me and Gigi

Back at Chez Alice, Taylor’s icing her naked eye and Alice is readying herself to show Taylor what a real person she is. She starts off strong with stress-induced teeth grinding remedied by a mouth guard. I’m hoping her next confession will be like, masturbating to Elizabeth Warren’s instagram reels, but instead it’s that she sleeps with earplugs ’cause her neighbor’s in Maroon 5, which is much more embarrassing for her neighbor than it is for her.

Taylor and Alice talking in bed
Actually one time after a breakup I built a whole shrine to my ex-girlfriend in my office and would have dinner dates with a cardboard cutout of her I stole from a cruise ship

Taylor on the other hand, loves styrofoam cups and … doesn’t have a drivers license! Well as soon as she gets it I hope Alice is so excited for her to finally drive up to her house. Anyhow, they’re cute and I’m having a nice time.


Back at The Dana Fairbanks Memorial Tavern, Shane’s once again brooding in the backroom, probably wondering how she gave Finley the impression that she was primed for idolization, when Ivy texts that she’s out front. A very determined Shane blazes through the bar to reach her when who should she run into but the one and only Max Sweeney!

Shane and Max greeting each other
Thank GOD you’re here I need immediate help with a computer search

Max: I feel like I’ve lived a thousand lives since I’ve seen you last.
Shane: Well — all good ones, I hope!
Max: Yeah! I got four kids.
Shane: What!? You have four kids, are you serious?
Max: It’s a madhouse for sure, but it’s so joyful. How about you?

Max talking to Shane
You okay, man?
Shane clutching her head
Yeah yeah I just all of a sudden remembered the interrogation tapes

Max asks Shane if she’s “settled down” or if she’s still “being Shane” and Shane insists she’s not being Shane at all, she has “a girl” and she’s great.

And what’s interesting about Max and Shane in the context of what comes next is that in the original series, Shane was the character least guilty of mistreating Max — which isn’t saying much, considering how appalling everybody else behaved and how little Shane did, but still. It was part of Shane’s overall “take people as they are” vibe, but also, as Phoenix wrote in our Lisa the Lesbian-Identified Man Trans Symposium, Shane was usually “in general a great ally to trans and gender non-conforming people.” So it’s fitting that of course it is now Shane who is apologizing on the group’s behalf:

Shane: For what it’s worth, I just wanna apologize, for how we were back then.
Max: I’m great, man. I’m happy. And I hope you’re happy too.

My heart sang for this moment! We talk about it a lot more on the podcast so you should listen on Monday.

Then Shane heads off, and Micah returns — he’s still got questions!

Micah and Max holding the same beer at Dana's
Wow, a Heineken! In my day the only beer they were allowed to drink on this show was Dos Equis.

And here, again, an opportunity for a meaningful detail, some specific question Micah can’t google about being a queer parent that would illuminate something about who he is as a character, is passed up in favor of Micah asking, for no discernible reason, “with the diapers like, how do you know when it’s time to change them?”


Maribel arrives home to find her sister sitting sadly on the couch with a bundle of candy but Maribel’s got some complaints of her own to register, like the very valid problem that it took her two hours to get an accessible Lyft and the less valid problem that Micah hung back to “talk to a real smartass who told [Mari] to resolve [her] Daddy Issues before having a baby.” She should definitely resolve her daddy issues before having a baby. Unless she’s over 40 in which case I recommend getting the process started immediately, the clock is ticking! Tick tock!

Sophie and Maribel on the couch, Sophie is looking closely at something
Why does my fortune say “Here we go. Low fat, whole wheat, green tea.”

Speaking of Dear Old Daddy, Sophie wants to know if Maribel thinks she’s like Dad, who was a cheater who left. Historically, Sophie has actually been a cheater who stayed, so.

Maribel relents that Sophie does have a pattern – on that and that alone, she and Finley agree. Sophie doesn’t wanna be like Dad! However, Sophie reminds Maribel, Micah’s never gonna leave her so she should maybe be nicer to him.

Sophie looking at Maribel
Maybe you can’t see it because you’re straight but Albie is giving off really bad vibes

“You’re not Dad,” Maribel assures Sophie.

“How do you know for sure?” Sophie’s face cracks.

“Bitch ’cause I can see you, even when you can’t see yourself,” Mari assures her. “I promise.”


Well, someone had the “best nite ever” according to her follow-up text message and unfortunately it was Angie Porter-Kennard, with her Introduction to Creative Writing instructor, failed novelist Hendrix Hendrix. Bella arrives back in the dorm and demands Angie spill the deets on who that mysterious man was with whom she was sucking face earlier!

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Bella in her costume
Get your sporks out ’cause I’ve got a full honeybaked ham under this skirt

“He’s my creative writing instructor!” Angie squeals.

“This is a scandal I am so here for,” Bella grins.

Bella and Angie sitting on her bed
No, no I haven’t seen Tár yet!

It’s seeming so far like in addition to every other problem we have with this storyline, Hendrix is indeed a straight cis man, so I’m really hoping that Bella is a member of the infamous LGBTQ+ community, ’cause I think otherwise we’re missing an opportunity to explore Angie making queer connections in college. Particularly ’cause her story currently is so physically disconnected from the rest of the cast, even moreso now that her Moms have decamped for Tim Hortons. A more obvious thematic connection (the theme being “queerness”) would really resonate! It’d also be cool to see other main characters in Angie’s story — like maybe Micah could’ve returned to teaching this season and had Angie in his class. Or Dana’s starts doing catering and they hire Angie part-time, or she interns for Alice or she keeps a weekly dinner date with Alice and Shane. Or her story at school is so vibrant and queer that we wish it was its own spin-off! Jordan Hull is such a treasure, you know?


We then strap wings upon our backs and fly across town to Dani’s resplendent Castle in the Sky, where she and Roxy are eating popcorn and Roxy’s saying she’s gonna go to Costa Rica and can’t stay in L.A. ’cause Dani’s not ready to be her wife yet.

Roxy and Dani eating popcorn at the kitchen counter
Don’t move, I think you may have just unwrapped the golden ticket

“Call me when that heart heals,” Roxy begs. “I’ll come running.”

Then Roxy cranks up “Hey Mami” and they dance dance dance like they’ve got ants in their pants and who isn’t here for Dani twerking in a granny cardigan we all are be real!

Dani and Roxy grinding
This is how lesbians have sex

Finley has arrived home after having her heart ripped to shreds by Shane McCutcheon, which’s not an uncommon experience for young women in the Los Angeles Metro Area.

“You were right, about everything,” Finley says to her sad girlfriend.

Finley looking down at Sophie
Suppose you had to do something, you had to go someplace and do this thing that was, you knew it was very dangerous, but it was a matter of honor. And you had to prove it. What would you do?
Sophie lying in bed propped up on her elbow
Are you gonna stay in character forever or does this end at midnight

Finley wants to trust Sophie but doesn’t know how — and she can’t stop thinking about this person, and maybe her imagination is worse than the real thing, so maybe they only way around this is through. Sophie’s gonna have to tell her everything because once she knows what everything is, then she can walk around it or break it instead of worrying it could appear around the corner at any moment.


Great news: Micah is finally an avocado! And he wants Maribel to know that parenting should be fun, just like Max told him. Mari apologizes again for being a pain in the ass. Maybe next episode she will stop being a pain in the ass!

Micah in his avocado outfit
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
Maribel in bed holding her phone to take a picture of Micah
Bravocado!!

“Don’t leave me, okay?” Maribel asks.

“I won’t, not ever,” Micah says.


At the desperately understaffed Dana Fairbanks Memorial Tavern, Shane’s telling Ivy this thing they’re doing — they’ve gotta cut it out.

Ivy talking to Shane
Okay hear me out though: threesome?

Ivy tells Shane that she was an awakening for her, and Shane tells Ivy that this meant a lot to her, she means it. She says “thank you” and squeezes Ivy’s hand. And maybe this is the small way that Shane has in fact changed — she’s not just shutting a door or silencing a call, she’s saying face-to-face what she can’t do, and admitting that what she did do mattered to her, meant something, wasn’t just fucking around.

And then Shane takes a deep breath and turns around and look who made it to the party after all!

Tess staring at Shane in disbelief
Were you just talking to the CEO of Brinker International about turning Bar #2 into a Bahama Breeze?
Shane looking at Tess not knowing what to say
I mean—

“Fuck you, Shane,” Tess says before hurling a half-filled glass of water at Shane’s face. Just last week, Shane was ass-to-mouth with a burst water pipe looking like she’d just made the Jolly Green Girl Giant squirt for the first time so this particular half-full 8-ounce glass of clear liquid appears, in comparison, to really be barely a light spring shower!

Shane standing in the bar with her head wet
Refreshing!

She should’ve thrown a Pina Colada or a carafe of iced tea! Or a glass of milk. That’s how you really make a point. I should know, I once poured a full glass of milk over a man’s head. (He deserved it.) Anyhow all of these tips are free, you’re welcome world!


L Word Generation Q Episode 304 Recap Round-Up:

Sexy Moments: 1 this episode, 4 total
Squabbles: 1 this episode, 8 Total
Quote of the Week: “I’m the one who gets to tell you how great it’s gonna be. Your whole life. You get to reinvent everything for yourself, and be your own kind of parent, and your own kind of man. I’m excited for you.”